The Corner

mind blowing

2011-11-16T23:01:00.001-05:00

Warning, if you are a Harry Potter fan this will blow your mind.

Credit my girlfriend Sarah for first bringing this to my attention, but supposedly JK Rowling has revealed that Nagini is the snake Harry released from the zoo in the Philosopher’s Stone.

Pause. Think about it. Wow!

But analysis, is it true? Short answer maybe. I mean now that I’ve thought about it I want it to be true. But there are some issues:

Nagini is supposed to be a huge poisonous snake. Yet the snake Harry releases at the zoo is a large (but still significantly smaller) boa constrictor (non-poisonous).

Of course this is a movie, and at the filming of Philosopher’s Stone there is now way the directors or writers or anyone could have known that Voldemort would have a huge poisonous snake as a horcrux down the road. So at that point any kind of zoo snake would do.

Something to think about. I love the thought of Harry releasing Nagini, so in my mind, that is what happened!

a race in Hell

2011-09-23T20:48:00.001-04:00

Tomorrow is the Dances With Dirt ultramarathon and 100k team relay in Hell, MI. I’m a last second add for my friend Dave and his family’s team. What does this mean? Well here are some of the more interesting tidbits I’ve gathered:

- The relay consists of 15 legs and each team member (5 total) will run 3 legs. “Legs are from 2.5 to 6.8 miles in length if you do not get lost.”

- From the brochure: We advertise DWD as a trail run with "Stupid Spots"; several of these legs are stupid runs with "Trail
Spots"…

- What is a stupid spot? Swamp crossing, river crossings, hills so steep you can’t run up or down them…but must either crawl up or slide down on your butt, forest running with no trail but overgrown brush and fallen trees.

- Some of the leg names: Purgatory, This Sucks, Stupid Lake, Vertigo, Buttslider, Styx River of Death.

- You can cheat and leave early from your leg if the day is getting late, but you have to scream “I’m a cheating bastard” as you take off.

My 3 legs:

Leg 3: Rave Run (Less)
2.5 miles, climb rating +230/-230, difficulty 1.3
Beginning and End are out and back so opposing runners present. A face to face meeting in blind turn could take an eye out. A beautiful trail run. Some say harder than advertised.

Leg 9: Bad Out of Hell
2.9 miles, climb rating +325/-331 difficulty 1.5
Get OUT of HELL fast. Intense Butt slider and rock wobbling on Settlers Grave for your enjoyment. 2011 is longer and improved with more hills, rocks and other nonsense.

Leg 12: Vertigo
6.75 miles, climb rating +643/-617, difficulty 3.4
Major Revision: this combines the first part of Where’s the F’ing Bridge and the latter part of Vertigo from years past. Now we’ll stay on Potto, head out onto a gravel road then rejoin the Vertigo we all know & love.
Nasty downhills that may give you vertigo. Portions of nice trail, road, and hill climb, off trail running and flat ending. Open area can be brutally hot. Oh, we also lost the head-high weeds near the end…

Total mileage 12.15. But I already know I am going to get lost once or twice…so I’m hoping I finish with less than 13 miles ran! I am so excited for this run!! I’ve never gone in to a race wanting to do nothing but the fastest time possible. Not the case tomorrow, I am going to have the most fun I have ever had running. I just know it. This is a race built for me! To Hell…

to bike

2011-09-06T22:33:00.001-04:00

I have worked two jobs since last November. Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays I work all day at the school, then head over to do my accounts receivable thing. Usually not too bad…but on days when my kids are awful (*cough-blackeye-cough) it can seem like the longest days. One thing I have enjoyed immensely is on days where I only have 1 job, I bike to work. It’s a great wake-up in the morning and a great student-detox and stress relief in the afternoon. I biked year round, even on some icy days and with a couple of inches of snow on the ground (winter biking is amazing!!). Alas there is to much distance and too little time in between my two worksites to consider biking on double-work days. Or so I thought.

Out of the blue this weekend, it came to me: Leave my car at work! Brilliant. Today I drove to work…but with my bike on the bike rack. I biked home…and left my car at work. I can now bike to and from work 5-days a week! And either bike home Friday or pick up my car as needed over the weekend (it’s only 3 miles away). Of course there will probably be a hurricane or something daunting like that in the morning tomorrow now that I HAVE to bike tomorrow…

My poor co-workers. Several curious ones started up conversations with me as I went about getting everything I needed out of my car after work today and loading my bike (hooray panniers). I don’t think they understood my need to bike and how I despise driving. I wish I could just be done with owning a car (no knock on my car, just think driving is often wasteful)…alas not quite practical. So this is my next best thing! :P

True Blood vs Breaking Bad

2011-08-31T20:43:00.000-04:00

This isn’t a competition. True Blood is a little bit of lint compared to Breaking Bad’s homemade apple pie. I just caught up on the latest episode of Breaking Bad, “Problem Dog,” tonight (holy SH*T what an episode!!). I finished season 3 of True Blood last night (season 4 is currently airing, but I don’t have premium channels).

Some thoughts on True Blood, first the good (warning, spoilers). Still a cool universe, I actually like how they have been incorporating more supernatural characters; werewolves (and a werepanther!), fairies, witches, etc. I absolutely love the characters of Eric and Jessica (who is criminally under-used) who are both fascinating and in my opinion the best actor and actress on the show. Though to be honest, acting isn’t the show’s strongest point. I enjoyed the main story this year (Russel vs the Queen and then vs The Authority) much more than season 2. And I dug the finale where Bill’s true intentions (or at least initial intentions) are revealed by a Eric (with the awesome line to Pam, “I have given him a much worse punishment”).

Now my problems with True Blood:

- They need to kill Tara off. None of her plot lines have worked for me. I don’t buy her as an actress, her actions baffle me. She just doesn’t work.

- Speaking of not working…there were way way too many different story lines in season 3. Somehow even worse than season 2. It was like sitting down to dinner and just being served appetizers…which is alright, but I was expecting a steak and dessert too. Maybe if all of the different story lines were compelling (something Lost was able to pull off much better) it wouldn’t bother me. But there were too many I didn’t care about. Obviously Tara. But also Lafayette. I just didn’t buy it. Sam’s story line was pretty lame too until the finale. Even Sookie annoyed me this season.

- The acting has never been great, so that’s nothing new…but the story was way muddy, too many minor characters getting a lot of episode time…it only made the acting more glaring (ugh, Hoyt).

But I’ll be back for season 4, cause despite its flaws, there is still a lot here.

One huge thing S3 of True Blood had going against it this time was that I watched it concurrently with season 4 of Breaking Bad. The differences are glaring. Breaking Bad is 1,500 thread count Egyptian Cotton. It’s intricately designed, every scene has purpose and carries weight. Most importantly, there is no letdown on acting. I’m even on board with Skyler now, she has been great the past season and a half. It’s impressive that when a scene ends, regardless of who was in it, I am left wanting more of that character. Jesse, Walt, Mike, Gus, Hank are the usual suspects. But it extends to Walt Jr., Saul, Gus, and really any recurring character.

*Spoilers

I have to talk about Breaking Bad…and the most recent episode Problem Dog.” So many flawless scenes; Gus, Hank, and Walt Jr at Los Pollos. Hank cleverly getting his fingerprints, Gus setting himself up for more leverage on Walt and Hank by offering Walt Jr a job whenever he wants one. Skyler realizing more and more she has made a mistake and is in over her head (the fake peck with Walt at the car wash to keep up appearances with Marie was fantastically awkward). Even the beginning scene where Walt gets to be Walt, no Gus controlling him or Skyler emasculating him. Jesse stealing the episode when he goes off at the AA meeting. Hank nailing his scene when he outlines his idea that Gus might be Heisenberg to the DEA. WAIT, AND…

…THOUGHT that started screaming to me during this scene with the DEA…Gus has to have a higher-up in the DEA in his pocket…right? I mean RIGHT???

Breaking Bad has always done a masterful job of setting up the dominos during the first part of each season, then tipping them over halfway through and letting things fall the way they are destined too (funny parallel to Lost in how much both of these shows are pre-destined to an end. The characters can not escape it.). I mean, we have half a season left, and we have the following: Walt vs Gus, DEA vs Walt, Gus vs DEA, Hank vs Gus (and potentially Walt if/when he finds out who Heisenberg REALLY is), Jesse vs Everyone (Gus, Mike, Walt, himself), Hank vs DEA (if I’m right about a higher up being in Gus’s pocket), Mexican Cartel vs Gus and Mike.

The dominos are falling, enjoy the show!

hole-in-snake

2011-08-29T18:25:00.001-04:00

Par 4, winding blowing left to right. My tee shot had a 1-way ticket into the forest on the left. My 2nd tee shot found the rough a few feet in front of a bunker. For the day (an awful 57 on the back 9, worst round in at least 3 years), one of my better shots (I never hit a fairway). 170 yards to the hole. Totally doable. Elevated green, bunkers guarding the front/left side, an out of bounds swamp guarding the right side of the green. I swing. Major League pop up (ooh, that one’s got some distance!). The ball plops down a foot from the swamp (and OOB post), takes one short bounce (less than a yard) and lies still. That ball came STRAIGHT down!

I approach my ball, wedge in hand. Whoa, jump back, snake! By a swamp, surprise! I examine, oh good, it’s just a garter snake, about 3’ long. Snakes don’t scare me, I kind of like them (unless they are swimming, F that). Hmm…the snake is not moving. I poke it with my wedge. Nothing. Dead. But freshly dead. Then I see it’s head. Bleeding. Crushed. My friend Kyle joked “St. Lee’s Day.” Yep, I crushed a snake’s skull from 170 yards out with an 8-iron and a Nike Mojo golf ball. And I still have never shot a hole-in-one…

my favorite female artists

2011-07-20T22:14:00.001-04:00

My top 10 female artists or band with female lead singers.

10 The Hush Sound

9 Avril Lavigne- Oh how my former #1 has fallen. But so has her music since “Under My Skin.”

8 Tracy Chapman

7 Lily Allen- Straight pop, but the lyrics can be so sharp, or the opposite of Ke$ha.

6 Adele- Amazing, only discovered her this past winter…but wow.

5 Dresden Dolls- Not for everyone, but I dig it.

4 Tegan and Sara

3 Taylor Swift- Her music keeps getting better and better.

2 Ani DiFranco- Living in Clip is the best live album ever.

1 Rilo Kiley- My fave! Also love Jenny Lewis obviously, but I had a Rilo Kiley album first.

barefoot running

2011-07-13T20:57:00.001-04:00

I am a convert. A running convert. No I’m not going to be going door-to-door and visiting you on your porch, rather I have fully embraced the barefoot running movement. Well except the actual barefoot part of it.

A quick explanation. Running barefoot is more than just running with out shoes. In essence it is to “run naturally.” This means no heel strike, when running AND walking the heel should NEVER strike the ground. It is unnatural and weakens key muscles and ligaments in the foot and ankle, leading to repetitive stress injuries. The midfoot should be the first part of the foot to touch the ground on every step. Experiment time, stand up and put on your shoes. Walk 10 steps like you normally would. Notice your heel hitting the ground first. Now take 10 more steps consciously making an effort to land on your midfoot first. Feels weird right? This is because most shoes today are built with a raised heel (roughly 10mm rise) and way too much cushion which encourages a heel strike while running. I know, I was a heel-striker until a chance conversation with my marathoning friend Chelsea led me to research running forms. Thankfully my running shoes I had at the time had a smaller heel raise and less cushioning so I was able to slowly transfer my from without screwing up my marathon.

As for the barefoot part…well glass freaks me out running outside, or rocks/roots on the trail (the thought of stubbing my toe on a root seems like a huge unnecessary risk). Plus I couldn’t run barefoot during the winter as I imagine severe frostbite is a big setback.

My answer? Minimal running shoes with no heel raise. There are several options here, check out http://www.barefootrunner.com/ for tips and reviews. I went with the Terra Plana VivoBarefoot Neo.

I’ve had the Neo’s for about a 6 weeks now, have I noticed an effect? Absolutely! In that my times were horribly slow to start even though I felt like I was flying. Thank you natural but unnatural to me stride/gait. Granted I lost a lot of speed when I focused exclusively on endurance for my marathon, but it was still a little discouraging. But I knew going in that it took time to build the correct muscles I would need, and that one day it would click. From what I’d read it wasn’t really a gradual progression, one day you were slow, the next you were fast (only slight exaggeration). About 2 weeks ago I had my moment; I cut almost 4 minutes off of my 4-mile loop, bordering on PR good for me. The best part, I didn’t feel like I had given it my all. Thank you barefoot-like gait, I am a convert!

North Carolina: a state in review

2011-07-10T21:35:00.001-04:00

This past weekend was my cousin Scott’s (Mom’s side of the family)wedding. In North Carolina, a state I have never set foot (ditto Virginia and West Virginia, see below), but which is conveniently the state my girlfriend Sarah is from. Obviously road trip time!

Things I liked about North Carolina:

Beautiful state. I only saw the interior (Greensboro, Charlotte, Chapel Hill) but came away impressed. Terrain wise reminded me of the upper peninsula…only with much more population/development.

Chapel Hill is a gorgeous campus. Think Kalamazoo College meets Ann Arbor.

Sarah’s family was really cool, and seemed to like me. Alas the same cannot be said about their Wii. I lost 2 heartbreaking cups in a row to Sarah’s sister Emily in Mario Kart. Literally on the last race at the finish line both times. F*#$ing bull$%&t red shells. I tried Wii Fit for the first time, which was disastrous when it told me I am 10 pounds over weight. WHAT!?! I’m 5’10” (almost 11”, shut up Greg) 163 pounds with clothes and just ran a marathon. I must assume the Wii cannot take into account muscle mass or I’m going to develop a complex.

Sarah’s dog Bruno did not bite me.

The most amazing farmer’s market I have ever been too. Absolutely huge, it was the size of Meijer, buildings and pavilions everywhere. Spicy peanut butter, triple heat goat cheese, homemade lemonade, venus fly traps, this magical place had it all!

Things North Carolina could get better at:

It was so f*&^ing humid! The heat was alright, but unholy Voldemort was it awful to discover that I had in fact NOT experienced real humidity before. I take back every complaint I’ve said about Michigan’s humidity. Michigan I love you the way you are!

You have to drive through Ohio to get to it. Hey Ohio welcome to Sturtevant, Wisconsin and Gary, Indiana status as awful places that are dead to me. Screw you and your highways of lies; a highway does not drop from 65mph to 25mph for 10 miles through a freaking town. Also you have a funny smell and I hate you. F Ohio.

Hey West Virginia, your mountains were beautiful and almost worth the 12 hour drive just to see them. Keep up the good work, I hope to explore you some day!

Hey Virginia, you are West Virginia’s awkward cousin. Nothing jumps out to me as being wrong, you seem so similar to West Virginia. But if someone asked me if I wanted to go to West Virginia I would yell, “Absolutely!” If I was asked if I wanted to go to Virginia my response would be, “Eh, I guess. Unless you want to watch Lost reruns instead?”

Here are a quick couple of pics:

Sarah and I at my cousin’s wedding in Charlotte.

The fam

Sarah teaching Ty how to dance…or the most hilarious part of the weekend!

Pilot Mountain, North Carolina is impressive. And no, it is inconclusive that this photo was taken from the driver's seat while the passenger slept.

An example of Virginia: Welcome to the "Virginia Technological Highway" I don’t get it either.

back to the (nordhouse dunes) wilderness

2011-06-14T22:44:00.001-04:00

Consider the question "What is your favorite spot in the lower peninsula of Michigan? Before Friday I would have thought about it a sec and said perhaps the Au Sable River (parent’s cabin) or Traverse City or something I wasn’t sure on. Why the lack of confidence? Because I would have been wrong. The only answer is Nordhouse Dunes Wilderness.

I touched on how the Nordhouse experience lies somewhere between camping and backpacking a couple of years ago on my first visit when I didn’t know what to expect. Located about 4 miles north of Ludington State Park (by hike…NOT by car), I was pumped to revisit this isolated beach with my friends Chris and Ryan and my brother Tyler.

Of note, Michigan in June can be hot…it can also be Michigan. I mean cold. Weekend forecast:
Friday: 62/51 (about 55 when we arrived at 7pm) cloudy with rain at night.
Saturday: 59/46 cloudy and windy
Sunday: 65 sunny

Of course this meant Ryan (who by the way STARTED packing when Chris and Ty got to his apartment to pick him up) did not bring a sleeping bag…instead had a sheet and a think blanket stuffed into a trash bag. Anthony Weiner is to Twitter what Ryan is to packing.

It was COLD both nights (like seeing our breathe with the sun still up). Friday night it rained…I had a brand new never been used tent we all slept in…there were a couple small but significant assembly errors (in my defense Ryan and Ty setup 100% of the tent while Chris and I rushed to build a fire and get dinner going) that led to Ryan, Ty and I getting soaked, Chris was on the highest ground of our not quite flat site and remained dry. Tyler retreated to his hammock, Ryan shivered. My sleeping bag held tough despite being wet and I was never cold. Not warm exactly, but never shivered. Saturday night was dry, but even colder. I didn’t dare crawl out of the tent until 10:30, and even then I had to be in the sunlight or it was too cold.

Despite Sunday being our only nice day, we had a great time. Epic 2-on-2 football, frisbee, cold Lake Michigan (“I have an ice cream headache…on my balls!”), saw only one other person, only a 1.7 mile hike from the car, opening the tent door to Lake Michigan, hiccups and remedies, remembering we should hang our food about 3 seconds before the raccoons got to it, and cards.

Yeah, Nordhouse Dunes Wilderness is the best part of the lower peninsula.

Card break on Saturday for a group shot. Lake behind us = happiness

Our first glimpse of the sun…at sunset.

Ty shivering I mean sleeping.
Another group shot.

Same campsite I used last time with Devon. Nostalgia.

Marathon: Pictures

2011-05-31T20:15:00.001-04:00

Of course I have to give a couple photos of me in action!

Part of my awesome support group: Sarah, me, Amy, Jenny, and Kyle.

Still with my 3h45 pacesetters. I can’t imagine running this stupid race WHILE carrying a sign!

My family!

Turning back onto Riverview in Parchment

Sarah gave up a Sunday of studying to watch.

Still feeling good.

Finish line is yards away, I pass both of these runners!

First encounter with my fans, feeling real good then.

Lil’ more pain.

Right where my side had started to cramp. Slowed down tremendously after this photo.

The Kalamazoo Marathon

2011-05-31T19:59:00.001-04:00

The Kalamazoo Marathon course map

*Note- I wrote a majority of this the day after the marathon…but have been busy and didn’t finish it until now. I must say, it is pretty awesome to say I’m just going to go for a light 8-mile run now!

The race seems surreal to me. In my mind it’s a huge landscape of memory. Much of it out of focus. But certain parts stick out with clarity:

- At the start, running down Gull Road surrounded by over 1,300 other marathoners and probably about 2,000 half-marathoners, well it was awesome. We all owned Gull Road like nothing ever before. We overwhelmed the orange traffic cones…to the point that they became dangerous. I never saw anyone fall. But I witnessed several last second dodges…and performed a couple myself. Actually this was a theme for me for the first 8 miles or so. Those damn cones just weren’t tall enough. I tend to stare at the horizon as I run and not at my feet. Good thing I had my peripheral vision in full order!

- I had initially started running with the 4:15 pace setters, but had quickly moved up with the 4 hour pace setters. I ran a 8.51 first mile which was good. My biggest fear was starting out with a 7 minutes mile. But I felt good and decided to advance up to the 3:45 group and see how long I could run with them for. Well turns out awhile.

- The first 8 miles flew by. Downtown, WMU’s campus, Stadium Drive. All blurry. I had great energy and was pain-free thus far. I remember running down from the bridge by Lawson Ice Arena to Howard and marveling that my ankle barely hurt at all despite the steep and winding-to-the-right decent. I still took my first minute walk around mile 7 at the water station as a precaution and change of pace.

- Oh Drake Road. I’ve driven this hill before, but looking at it from Stadium Drive. Big. It’s especially angering as you DESCEND sharply from Stadium just to make the climb that much higher. Here was another almost-disaster moment. Right as the decent started the guy I had been kind of drafting fell and tumbled, maybe 15 seconds or so after I decided to pass him. I was that close to trampling someone.

- The run up Drake hill actually went really well. I had good pace, never slowed, and enjoyed all of the people lining the top cheering us on.

- We ran through the Tech Park on WMU’s Parkview Campus. I had no idea it was so big! Like a whole mile spent circling it. Also since you enter and exit at the same point, you see all of the runners ahead of you…which is really demoralizing at mile 10 when you realize how far you have to run just to catch up to where that random guy was.

- Mile 13ish was through some neighborhoods off of Parkview (Greg, remember walking these after the hockey game when we went to visit Michelle?). Lot of small up and down, but still felt good. Some old lady offered me a bowl full of swedish fish. I had to smile and take a couple, I cannot reiterate enough how awesome and helpful it was for the course to be surrounded with encouraging fans!

- Coming off of Oakland Drive, us runners briefly ran on Whites Road only to turn onto Bronson Boulevard. I have never been down this road. And literally I mean down. For over ONE mile the road goes downhill without flattening out. I think this staved off my pain for a good couple of miles. Bonus at the bottom right after the Girl Scout building I saw my first familiar faces of the day: my girlfriend Sarah, my friends Amy and Jenny, my Mom, my Dad, and my brothers Ty and Drew. Fantastic to see them!

- Less than 2 minutes after seeing them I run across my roommate Kyle, who had been walking to meet up with my friends and family. In flip flops and carrying a coffee he decides to run about half of a mile with me, chatting and making me laugh…and forgetting about running. I still think it was for the best I didn’t take him up on the offer to have some coffee…but I’m not sure.

- Alas the next time I would see my friends and family, the pain would have set in. I left Kyle and realized I had to pee. Badly. Actually I’d had to pee since around mile 10, but had thought maybe I would sweat it out. Sort of right. But now it was becoming a priority. Next port-a-potty. Naturally there weren’t any at the next water station, and it wasn’t until I crossed Riverview that I found a single one, but thankfully didn’t have to wait in line. This is also where my side started cramping a bit. I saw my friends moments later, and was still able to smile and wave to them. About 3 minutes later I saw my family on the bridge after going over the river. My Dad took my photo, then I was alone for a bit. I had to walk off and on while trying to fight off my side cramp. The next couple of miles from 20 on were brutal.

- Parchmount. May your hill burn in hell. I finally ditched my side cramps, only now my legs were in pain. Tired, and always wanting to walk. I gritted my teeth and turned off of a flat Riverview onto a at first flat Parchmount. Only a couple of hundred feet in was the 2nd biggest hill of the course. And at this point, looked insurmountable. I passed a lot of people walking on this hill. I hate walking up hills. I would rather walk at the top. So I ran up the whole stupid thing. In agony. At the top someone had a hose on the street. I went straight for them and got a brief shower that was bliss for my hot and overworked body. Run on.

- The last few miles were brutal. I was walking for a minute about every 6 minutes (down from every 10 or 11). I passed a guy who had passed out and was being worked on by EMT’s (scary! but he was fine). And mostly I thought about the finish, and how the minutes left were nothing compared to the hours I had already ran. Tough last 6 miles, more mental than physical.

- I can’t figure out what road I was on, but it ran out onto Brook (or maybe Fairfield) then connected with Gull Road for a hot second before the finish line. Whatever this road was, it was my last climb. And it was not that long, but wow was it steep. In my mind it is a cliff I ran up, but I know that is impossible. The first hill I couldn’t run all the way up. I ran the steep part, then walked the easier upper half. All pain.

- I turned into Borgess for the last tenth of a mile (or a little less) with two girls and a guy in front of me before the finish line. I am proud to say I passed them all. I finished strong, something I did not do for my half-marathon 2 years ago. It was nice to be able to stride out and run in. I even saw my friends and family on the side before the finish line. Cool!

- Finished! I got a standard medal and was offered what looked like a large sheet of aluminum foil (or like my emergency blanket I had used on an overnight where we couldn’t even bring a bag to sleep in the woods in Boy Scouts many years ago). I was told it would keep the wind off of me and keep me from getting chilled. It was warm out, I am a winter person, I ditched it pretty quickly.

Will I ever do a marathon again? I don’t know. The training took up so much time, there was the constant worry of injuries and just getting sick, and the race was pretty painful. Time will tell if I ever get the bug again for this kind of commitment. The race itself was really cool. Seeing Kalamazoo from a unique perspective (like running down Stadium Drive…sober) or new parts (Bronson Boulevard) and the thousands of people who lined the entire race course yelling encouragement. Nothing was more uplifting than a 6-year old reaching out to give you a high-five and it totally making his day. Painful, but a lot of fun!

Here are my mile splits:

1- 8.51
2- 8.13
3- 8.31
4- 8.34
5- 8.41
6 & 7 (A couple of laps got joined together when I forgot to mark the lap button on my watch)- 16.51
8- 8.42
9- 8.29
10 & 11- 18.58
12- 8.28
13- 8.39
14- 8.09
15- 8.28
15 & 16- 16.21
17- 8.34
18- 7.49
19- 9.08
20- 8.43
21 & 22- 18.13
23- 8.46
24- 9.46
25- 9.04
26- 1.4

Total: 3 hours 47 minutes 50 seconds. Good for 203rd place out of 1196 marathon finishers. And 30th out of 88 in my age division. Not shabby. Not sure I’ll ever run a full marathon again…but I am setting my eye on the Detroit Half-Marathon in October.

running with a golf ball

2011-05-25T21:33:00.000-04:00

When I say the word “running” it may elicit thoughts of boredom in the average non-runner. In reality however, most runs have interesting moments.

Case in point, my run yesterday. I was running down Kilgore toward Celery Flats across from the Milham Golf Course. By now I was completely zoned into my run and didn’t notice the golf ball (at this point there was no traffic in either direction) bouncing up Kilgore until it hit the sidewalk in front of me. Out of instinct I grabbed it, then ran with it another 10’ while my bewildered mind processed that I had just caught a bouncing golf ball on the sidewalk of Kilgore. I looked around but didn’t see any golfers on the hole, so I ran on…with the golf ball.

A few moments later I looked back and finally saw the golf cart that the ball must have come from, but they were nowhere near the fence (I presume they had given up on the ball as it clearly must have sailed over the fence/road to reach me) and I didn’t feel like running back up the hill and trying to wave them down. In front of Loy Norrix I dropped my new (well slightly used) golf ball by a tree and snatched it up on my way back from Celery Flats about 4 miles later.

Pre-Marathon

2011-05-08T20:11:00.001-04:00

Heading into the race today, I had no idea what to expect. I had been diligent on my training up until the first week of March, when I ran a then personal long distance of 16 miles…at a pace that would have put my marathon time at 3 hours and 30 minutes. But I would spend 3 of the next 4 weekends severely sick (flu, flu/cold, nasty sinus infection). The first week of April I finally got on track and found myself only a week behind in my training (good thing I had started in November!).

Alas on my birthday (April 7th), I decided to play basketball in the old man’s basketball league with my Dad. I had never sprained an ankle before. Not even two minutes into the FIRST game I was at half court, took an easy pass with no one around me. While walking, I took two dribbles and rolled my right ankle so far it touched the court. I limped off without being able to put weight on my right leg, but was able to walk it off and keep playing the next game. Only did the true extent of my injury become clear when I woke up on Friday morning with one normal-sized ankle and the other twice as big! And only able to support a slow walking pace. So began a 2 and a half week stretch of ZERO running, a lot of ice, and a lot of time spent on the trainer for my road bike. I finally conceded that I HAD to start running again, ankle be damned, or I was going to have much bigger issues on race day.

I started running about 2 weeks ago, and pushed myself to a very painful (ankle) 12-mile run 9 days ago, then 2 days later an 8-mile run. This week was all about recovery/rest (3ish miles Tuesday, 3ish miles Wednesday, 2 miles Saturday). Wednesday’s run was the first where making right turns while jogging wasn’t excruciating. Just uncomfortable.

Enter this morning: 5:30am alarm, glass mixed vegetables and fruit courtesy of my juicer, heated up some slow-cooked steel cut oats with blackstrap molasses, honey, peanut butter, and nutella. Topped it off with a couple glasses of water and a half cup of coffee (of course!). Go time.

I arrived on campus at Borgess at 6:45am after fighting through traffic (race start of 7:30, so plenty of time). I did about a mile or maybe a little less warm-up jog then went back to my car to stretch. Still with over 30 minutes until the race and it only being 46 degrees out, I was in no hurry to ditch my hoodie and pants. So I waited in line for 15 minutes for a port-a-potty, then finally stripped to shorts and my compression shirt (great idea, no nipple chafing, unlike my half-marathon).

The goal, 4 to 4 and half hours. I picked my way toward the jam-packed start line and finally it became to condensed to pass anyone at the 4 hour 15 minute pace setters. Race on!

more juice, please

2011-05-03T21:42:00.001-04:00

My life story can be told in two parts; life before my juicer and life after. Yep, on Sunday I splurged on what I thought might just be a nifty appliance. Something I’d use once a week or so, maybe the equivalent of my French coffee press. Granted I’ve only had my juicer three whole days (and I didn’t use it until yesterday), but it is addicting!

Fresh off a run to the store on Sunday, I was stocked up with fresh fruit and veggies: Strawberries, oranges, lemons, kale, radishes, kiwi, pineapple, spinach, carrots, fennel, sprouts, apples, and some fresh herbs. I don’t even know for sure what at least two of those things I bought are, all I know is I saw them mentioned on some recipes so figured hey, why not? As of Tuesday night…I have juiced EVERYTHING (well not quite true, I have some of the herbs and spinach left). It tastes so GOOD!! Like “I don’t understand how I ever drank V-8” good! I have a cup of juice stored in the fridge for the morning, and I am already salivating over it.

My Inner-Geek

2011-04-07T14:34:00.000-04:00

I just finished beating the fantastic game Half Life 2 (and both of its expansions). With the fresh feeling of victory lounging in my brain, I got to thinking of all of the games have beaten. All of these held my interest long enough to play through to the end:

Quake 2
Unreal Tournament
Civilization 3 & 4
Command and Conquer Red Alert 2
Knights of the Old Republic
Jedi Knight 2
Half Life 2 (and episode 1 & 2)
Starcraft
Starcraft 2
Doom
Return to Castle Wolfenstein
Warcraft 3
Warcraft 3: Frozen Throne
Descent: Freespace
System Shock 2
Ghost Recon
Ghost Recon expansions: Desert Siege and Island Thunder
Max Payne
No One Lives Forever 2
Sins of a Solar Empire
Pirates!
Alpha Centauri
Railroad Tycoon 2
Age of Wonders: Shadow Magic

I’m on a boat in a gym with my students at a dance

2011-03-11T21:20:00.000-05:00

Best moment by far I’ve had with my class this year? Our Valentine’s Day dance at school. My kids LOVED it (well except for the one who choked another student, but he was removed promptly) and they all danced…and were a blast to dance with it. Plus I got to rock out to the jams too. Sure the tracks were old and I’ll say stale (I’m trying not to say lame…cause you never know who reads these things). Also my school has used the SAME CD for dances since probably the invention of the CD and CD player. Now I happen to be on the committee that is in charge of said dances, and so when asked today if I wanted to make a NEW CD for our upcoming St. Patrick’s Day dance, my response was absolutely. Oh, if only my fellow committee members realized what they just did.

I only need about a 45 minute CD…but so far my playlist is well over 2 hours. Will need to cut that down. More troubling is the amount of internet scouring I am doing trying to somehow find a super clean version of Lonely Island’s “I’m on a boat” where you can’t tell they sing/rap "motherf*cker” like 400 times. Work in progress. I’m also trying to figure out some Eminem song that is 1) Danceable too 2) not blatantly about drugs or obscene 3) and has a clean version that won’t get me fired. Might not exist. I mean how awesome would it be if I could pull off Eminem?? Ahh, I’ve also got an awesome mash-up of Dr. Dre and Snoop over the Eurythmics “Sweet Dreams”…it’s edited…but for a couple of the verses it is blatantly saying n*gger even with the slight pause. I am doubting I can run it. And of course I’m debating M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes” which is one of my absolute favorite songs to dance too…but unfortunately has gunshots for a chorus line…and is about drugs. Also I’m coming to the realization I might be fired by next Friday.

There is also pressure on me for this to be a good dance now. If not, our poor kids are going to be stuck with the same ol’ CD for potentially ever.

This is the first thing entrusted to me since since I got to pick one of our VSA movies in December and tried to run with something a little different and new, “Fantastic Mr. Fox.” I got a lot of atta boys for it after it played and most staff and the students seemed to like it…but you can sure tell that the majority of the staff population is female when I got a few comments back like these, “Oh I liked it Lee, but I did hear some complaints from other staff about how a few of the characters were smoking” or “It was a really good movie, but I know some other people were talking about how the characters said ‘what the cuss’ (in place of what the f*ck) a lot. At least for the dance I am expecting some people to not like my music. Bitch away.

a hill in spain

2011-03-10T13:44:00.000-05:00

Greg sent me this video the other day. And is quite adamant about going to Spain with me and filming my “attempt to replicate” or perhaps more fittingly my “epic crash(es) of death”. Either way this mountain biking video is fantastic!

A Hill in Spain from chris akrigg on Vimeo.

a marathon from the wrong perspective

2011-03-09T14:03:00.001-05:00

8 weeks 5 days ‘til my first marathon! Scary. Exciting. Understandable apprehension? I’ve committed perhaps 2 big no-no’s in my preparation to run 26.2 miles.

The first is that I revamped my running form about a month ago…after I barely survived a 12 mile run because my left knee was sparking sharp pain with every step. The same thing that had knocked off a couple of weeks of training for me when I did my Half a 2 years ago. By complete coincidence that next weekend I went with Sarah to Gazelle Sports so she could get some new running shoes. My friend Chelsea (who has run the Boston Marathon, she knows her stuff) was working and when I told her what I had been running, she was dumbfounded I was doing all of my running alone. She tried to convince me to run some running groups (sorry Chelsea, but I have no desire to ever run 10+ miles at 7am!) but she did hand me a pamphlet on running technique and a free evaluation class Gazelle’s holds every Wednesday. I never made it to the class. But I did do some research and the matter and found that I had good form for the first part of my runs, but as soon as my legs started to get tired I was pounding my heels on the pavement. Not good. I wasn’t sure if this was what was hurting my knee, but speed be damned, I was going to run on the front of my feet. Mixed results, on the positive my knee has not bothered me since. The bad news, my speed has dropped significantly and my calves scream during and after every run, almost regardless of distance.

The other big no-no I’ve committed is that until last Sunday, I had NOT been following any sort of official workout. I’d basically been using what I remembered doing for the half-marathon. Turns out I had been mostly correct in what I was doing…but was stunned to see that the longest I need to run is only 20 miles…3 weeks before the marathon. Sweet! my biggest mistake has been that I need to have one slightly longer run during the week…about half of whatever my long run is going to be that weekend.

Naturally I figured this out right after I ran a grueling 16 miles on Sunday…and promptly got sick Monday afternoon. I missed my first 2 days of work of the school year Tuesday and Wednesday and obviously haven’t been able to run or anything. I still feel pretty crappy now, but the fever has been gone all day so I’m considering putting 30 minutes of bike time in on my trainer. Considering.

Threat Level Midnight

2011-02-22T17:28:00.001-05:00

Michael: I have my book on business, Somehow I Manage. I have my HBO comedy special, Here I Go Again...But you know what? When I think about it, when I really think about it, none of those things are as real to me as my movie.
Holly: I'm real.
Michael: Yeahhh, you're a real pain in the ass.
[pause]
Michael: I'm sorry I called you a pain in the ass. I'm angry and I love you.

Life is good.

Not really anything new with me…besides loving the abundance of snow days my school is experiencing. Thank you crazy Michigan blizzards and ice storms and power outages (though it was not cool for my apartment to lose power for a day).

On my 2nd “snow” day of this week, I caught up on The Office. I loved “Threat Level Midnight.” Perfect timing too as I had just re-watched the original season 2 episode where Pam discovers the script and the whole office reads it in the break room. “PDA” remains my favorite episode of this season (drunk Jim and Pam are fantastic), but it was really cool to see Roy, Jan, Karen, Packer, etc back.

Speaking of Karen, or in real life Rashida Jones, I finally have gotten into Parks and Recreation. Thanks to my friend Tony’s insistence, I started up on season 3. This show is hilarious! I gave it a two episode trial back in season 1, and didn’t really like it, but it has come a long ways. I am (back) in!

Of course The Office bringing back a bunch of written-out characters made me think of Lost…and how during it’s last season it was able to at least cameo everyone who was willing back into the show for one last hurrah. Wow I miss and love that show. This summer I am jumping back into Lost. Watching all 6 seasons in order. Best summer ever! :)

If you watched Tosh.O last week then you’ve seen this clip. If not you need to experience it. I have watched this at least a hundred times (as my co-workers and girlfriend can attest too). It starts with what looks like 35 seconds of nothing, but watch it, it is worth it. Promise!

I am not scared of tarantulas, who knew?

2011-02-01T23:13:00.000-05:00

I have a cut on the side of my spacebar hitting thumb right next to the nail. It is screaming at me with every space. I only now realize I don’t use my left thumb at all with the space key. If I was throwing a football right now I’d say I was typing like a girl. I kid I kid :P

I was in a funk most of today. Lame, but I cannot pinpoint anything specific to put me in a funk. I’m going to blame the incoming storm front that has brought this amazing blizzard to Kalamazoo. No school tomorrow, and I have my fingers crossed for Thursday. Ironically I’m pretty sure my day-long headache is attributable to the storm.

Just one of those days. The kind where I just feel a step off, and every time I try to catch up I over correct and wind up veering off even farther. Or to put it another way, I feel like I’m a really tiny twig on a slightly bigger stick connected to a very young branch at the top of a maple tree in the spring. First it was just me and the young branch was sturdy. Then some leaves started to bud…but the branch was still solid as a rock. Next the leaves grow and fan out…maybe the branch sags a bit more, but no big deal. But then one day the wind is coming fierce out of the west and the whole tree is swaying around like a pothead at a Dave Matthews concert. And me, the poor twig, is stuck holding on tight as I watch the wind grab hold of the leaves on my young branch and shake it down like a Baltimore cop on a corner dealer (hmmm…I think I’m going through The Wire withdrawals too). But still the branch holds on. Then I see the squirrel racing up the tree. “Squirrel!” I yell and try to warn him, “Don’t f*cking do it, you are too big! The wind, the leaves, this branch is at capacity. For the love of Helios back the F off!” Alas squirrels don’t speak twig, and he barrels onto my branch. Snap. Falling. Some 15-year old kid out planting flowers among other various outdoor chores looks up at the right time and sees the branch snap and the squirrel fall to the ground. The squirrel bounces once, stands up, shakes his head then runs on like nothing happened. The kid laughs and thinks, stupid squirrel. And the branch is left there in the grass to be chopped up by the lawnmower or chewed on by the dog.

That was me today. Just over capacity. Headache. Tired. My stalker-student was the opposite of fantastic. I felt like whatever I did, it wasn’t good enough. Or I was frustrated…but had no reason to be frustrated…which only frustrated me more. I’m thankful for the snow day tomorrow, can fully recharge!

In other events, I have finally proven that I am NOT scared of spiders. Sharks, army ants, sea snakes, wasps/hornets, and recently orcas (damn you National Geographic Channel!), well absolutely. But I have never been sure if I was scared of spiders or scorpions. I suspect I am scared of scorpions (the whole terrified of needles/stingers thing), but until I see one in the wild I won’t know for sure. As for spiders, Michigan has never presented a spider that scared me (well water spiders make me nervous, but I can handle them). But I always thought a tarantula might freak me out. Fortunately I was able to put the tarantula hypothesis to the test yesterday when at my school the safari/zoo people came and brought a bunch of different animals (my favorite was the hedgehog. But the baby 3’ alligator was really cool and so was the baby wolf!). I happened to raise my hand at the right (or wrong?) moment to blindly volunteer to handle an animal. And they brought out a huge and hairy 8” tarantula. The handler plopped him right on my chest and it just sat there chilling. It was actually really cool, like no fear on my part, and I kind of want a tarantula now (right after I get a hedgehog!). I did appreciate being told that a tarantula bite would not be fatal or hold any serious consequences since I was an adult male. I did NOT appreciate them telling me while the tarantula was on my chest that if by the remotest chance the tarantula did bite, it would feel like a wasp sting. I f*cking hate wasps!!

rear-ended

2011-01-30T21:54:00.001-05:00

Just under two weeks ago my car was rear-ended at a stoplight on the corner of Lover’s Lane and Romence. It was not snowing or slippery at all, I suspect the other driver was on her phone when she failed to stop in time. It was a very low-speed collision and thankfully no one was hurt. But the Theorem of Vehicular Physics states “Truck beats 2-door car”. Sad but true. While the damage was mostly cosmetic and my car is completely drivable…my bumper has 2 holes in it and is bent away from the car a little now. Also the actual frame was bent just enough so that to open my trunk I have to wiggle one end and then the other to get it to open. Of course I don’t have collision on my insurance…but thanks to Michigan’s mini-tort law I was able to collect $500 from the other driver’s insurance. Alas my estimate to fix my car is $1,250. Being a ‘99 Ford Escort ZX2…totally not worth it.

Fun fact: This is the SIXTH time a car I have owned has been hit by another car (bonus fun fact, my car was stopped or in park for EVERY accident)….and the driver of the other car has ALWAYS been female! Probably a coincidence…

I’ve decided I am going to get a new(er) car this spring. Probably in March. I don’t see the point of getting something nicer now just to run the risk of being rear-ended in the snow or covering it in salt everyday. After spending several hours perusing Consumer Reports and online research I have built a spreadsheet with all potential models and years that I like and are in my price range; $10,000ish. The two things are care about most are fuel efficiency and reliability. Hence with all of the recent Toyota recalls their vehicles make me a little nervous and as such they’ve dropped a bit in my rankings. Here is my top 5 practical car wish list:

1) Mazda3
2) Honda Civic
3) Toyota Matrix/Pontiac Vibe (same car essentially)
4) Toyota Corolla
5) Honda Fit
Honorable Mention) Toyota Yaris

Ooh and of note I’m hoping to get a manual transmission! No I don’t know how to drive a stick shift, but I think it would be kind of awesome to learn.

The Raw Shark Texts

2011-01-28T23:35:00.001-05:00

“I am the maniac, I am the fool
I found a monster in me when I lost my cool
it lives inside of me eating whats in its way
I put black spray paint on my windows during the day
I wanna spend time with it, I think I’m losing it
or I found it and I’m using it
I wear my shades at night so I can look in the abyss
I see something in nothingness if you could picture this
put black holes in my jar lid
I climb the wall, I’m too high now I’d die from the fall
before the waters to our knees
we can’t climb on the tree’s wash away
and you and I are the disease”

I enjoy books that mess with my mind. Like books you have to just stop, sometimes mid-word, and say holy sh*t. Then sit there contemplating what you just read for a few minutes. This can be because what I just read was enlightening, horrifying, or just a complete mindf*ck. And while most books will have a couple moments that stop me, I love books that can stop me over and over again. Of course the best example of this remains “House of Leaves” by Mark Danielewski. A concept book about a house that measures one foot larger on the inside than the outside…HOL remains the scariest book I’ve ever read. And was chock full of “stop, wtf just happened” moments.

Other books have had success at this too for me: “In the Lake of the Woods” by Tim O’Brien, “Wizard and Glass (Dark Tower book 4, for whatever reason this book hardcore captivates me…also Bag of Bones gets me too to a lesser extent)” by Stephen King, Quick and the Dead by Joy Williams, “Haunted” by Chuck Palahnuik (I actually hated this book…not scary, just real disturbing…I really want to read Fight Club, but I’m still put off by Palahnuik), and my most recent read “The Raw Shark Texts” by Steven Hall.

The Raw Shark Texts is another concept book, though not to the extreme that House of Leaves reaches. It’s about a mental shark that eats memories. Think Memento meets Jaws meets The Matrix (though less sci-fi and more Alice in Wonderland-like). What House of Leaves is to the movie The Ring (terrified me) then The Raw Shark Texts is to The Crazies (the remake from last year, solid, but only a few scenes that scared me). And RST definitely pays some homages to Jaws. I can say this for a fact because I went on a Jaws binge this month and watched 1-4! I can also say that Jaws 3 might be one of the worst movies ever made.

As for the lyrics above, if you’re wondering why I selected them it’s because they could easily be talking about The Raw Shark Texts or House of Leaves. I recommend reading both. I need to re-read HOL…and I want someone to talk about its craziness with!

shark vs octopus

2011-01-25T16:22:00.001-05:00

So my girlfriend watches some “interesting” TV shows. I’m thinking particularly of the show “1,000 Way to Die” on Spike. It’s a documentary that showcases bizarre deaths and the science behind it. The show kind of freaks me out. Here is an example:

“A convicted robber on the run hides in a drainage pipe and gets stuck. Later that night, rats appear and start eating him alive, eventually eating into his brain.”

Gross.

Speaking of freaking me out, last night Sarah had the pleasure of showing me this clip from National Geographic labeled “Shark vs Octopus.”

F*ck the ocean.

a “bad things happen when coffee is not consumed in a timely manner” example

2011-01-03T22:49:00.001-05:00

For New Year's weekend this year, my Dad, my bro, and I headed north to Mount Bohemia to ski. I won't go into heavy details on how this weekend shaped, but you can use all of the words "near record high temperatures", "rain", and "barren slopes with more rocks than snow that attacked my ski bottoms like a barracuda to a sea turtle carcass.” That was all Thursday. Friday was consequently “ski slope closed” and “no new precipitations” as the temperature stabilized in the mid-20’s. Saturday and Sunday continued the bizarre weekend trend with “it is so cold it hurts to breathe” as temps peaked at 14 degrees with wind gusts hitting 40mph. We skied Mont Ripley on Saturday, which was a sheet of ice with a –20 degree wind chill. Sunday we didn’t even ski, just drove home. We had fun…but real disappointing weekend.

But I do have a good lesson learned from this weekend. About stairs. And coffee. I have fallen up stairs countless times in my life. I run up them, sometimes I catch my feet, misstep, or hell, maybe the Earth just stutters at the wrong second. I’ve lost plates of food, cups of liquid, even skin to rug burn if I crashed hard enough. No biggie. I am good at falling, usually can catch myself on a rail or the wall if I stumble.

Falling down stairs is a different animal. I don’t fall down them. Sure I’ve dove/slid down them intentionally. I have ridden a mattress and a laundry basket down stairs. But I have never fallen from more than like missing the bottom step. I’ve slipped before sure, but have always caught/saved myself.

Well always ended Thursday morning. My alarm went off, I made coffee, and filled my mug with java. Regrettably I did not drink any of my coffee right away. I thought I had time!! Sigh. If I’d had even one sip, maybe I would have been awake enough to bypass my staircase disaster.

I went upstairs to hop on the computer to check the weather, carrying my coffee. The bathroom was in use, so I decided to bypass for the moment brushing my teeth and head back to the kitchen to grab a bowl of cereal. I stepped onto the top step, full coffee mug in my left hand. Now my brother’s staircase is carpeted. And at the top it bends 90 degrees to the right. But there is no landing or platform to ease the turn. Instead the first 4 steps or so wrap around a corner. So the left side of the steps is of normal width, but each step is not an even rectangle, but more like a long triangle that comes to a point on the right side of the stair so the steps may wrap. After this there are 15 normal steps to the bottom of the staircase, then a short 4’ wide hallway, and ensuing wall.

I have stayed at my brother’s at least 4 times before. I have encountered this staircase many times without incident. I have no idea what the hell happened on Thursday morning. But on the 3rd step my right foot landed too close to the right edge of the staircase. My heel slipped off of the narrow step, and instead of coming to rest on the next step, slipped off this narrow ledge too. My left leg was already in the air, my left hand was clutching my coffee mug. My right hand made a valiant effort to strangle the railing, but it was too late. In about 0.1 seconds I went from peacefully walking down the stairs to both feet above my waist, upper torso slamming backwards, and only my right hand having any contact with the ground or a railing. My ass hit the steps. Hard. Wearing swishy pants, I had no chance. I bounced once, landed, and flew down the 15 stairs like I was at the Wisconsin Dells sitting on an inner-tube on a steep-ass waterslide.

Did I mention I’m good at falling?? Well I held onto my coffee throughout the initial fall, but it was jarred from my hand on the bounce. In what would have been an Olympic medaling performance, my mug gyrated like a gymnast on the Floor down the steps, not spilling a drop until it exploded onto the floor below like a water balloon on a summer driveway. As for me, I have no idea how in the half second it took me to slam down the stairs, but somehow I recognized that there was a wall 4’ from the staircase waiting for me AND that my bro’s skis and poles were leaning against them. I did NOT want to hit metal skis or a wall face first, wrists/face/maybe knees/ankles would have been f*cked. In my last amazing feat of 2010, I hit the bottom step and the ground and jumped/pushed/threw myself just enough to the side to avoid impaling myself on a ski. I also spun my body almost 180 degrees so that I caught the wall with one arm before my back slammed safely into it. Then I lay there, ass and heel in a lot of pain, laughing. Laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe and couldn’t move to try and save any of my coffee. My brother’s room is at the base of the steps, and he had been about to exit his room. He had heard the crash, and then witnessed me slam into the wall a few feet from him. He was speechless. My Dad on the other hand had been in the kitchen and had heard the thump on the stairs, then the loud smack of me hitting the wall. He came running down the hallway, and I swear this is verbatim, yelled “Quit f&cking around on the stairs!! Why the hell did you do that?!?” Only as I was able to painfully pick myself, still laughing to hard to talk, did he ask, “Shit, well are you alright?”

Yes I was/am alright. Huge bruise on my ass, damaged pride, and worst of all no coffee to drink that morning. But I survived. And now I know, time is precious. Don’t waste it. When you are holding coffee in morning. Drink it, please. For me. Let this be a cautionary tale, drink your coffee while you can. Don’t let it go to waste. You never know when some wicked staircase is plotting your demise, ready to sweep you off your feet in a gravity-soaked plunge. Please, for the love of all that is good and beautiful in this world, drink your coffee while you can. Please.

Syllables

2011-01-03T22:13:00.001-05:00

I spent a recent post talking about how bad hip hop had become...but thanks to Eminem (Recovery) and Kanye West (My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy) my faith/hope in mainstream rap had been restored. Well apparently The Roots felt left out, because I just got "How I Got Over" last week. Amazing. And half of the album isn't even explicit. Not a stupid club track on the entire thing! Check out Dear God 2.0 to see what I mean.

As fate would have it, a track that perfectly expresses my dismal view of club music and what hip hop had come too was leaked last week. This is Syllables by Eminem, Jay-Z, Dr. Dre, Cashis, Stat Quo, and 50 Cent. The track was originally created in 2007. My favorite part:

“[Dr Dre]
They said 30′s the new 20
funny, must mean 40′s the new 30
interesting cause ever since then it’s been innocence
an extension for veteran rappers that are better than half
of the shit coming out right now
its all trash
the torch is gonna burn out before it gets passed
Jay said it’s his last and 50 and Em
then what? Detox drops what we got then
so now our whole camps is running around scrambling over what to do
gambling everytime we put a record out
just looking for that hook

[Eminem]
(Wait Dre look)
[chorus]
Shorty I love you
and you love me too
we were meant to be cause shorty
you love me
and I love you too
and I promise I’ll be true to you”

I'm unsure if this is supposed to appear on an upcoming album or not. But it is the truth:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjTZtH8MP1E

2010: tout se fait

2010-12-28T20:47:00.001-05:00

“I stopped to take a breathe. I didn’t need to look back, I had been reflecting all morning. I could see the tiny mistakes littered about the landscape of my past, a loose constellation that said “too many”. But I didn’t need a constellation. I already knew every stupid pursuit, every misstep, every time I wanted to scream, but I had only myself to blame. And yet here I am, walking forward. Scars sure, but nothing disfiguring. Wiser too. Just because a man comes across a fence in his path, climbing over isn’t the only path. There is a gate if he looks, an opening, a climbable tree. Because sometimes that fence can be as electric as shit.”

As 2010 draws to a close and a new year is ready to step in, I have to think, yay. I mean what an up and down year. I have to believe I’m better off and more enlightened for 2010. But man, some of it was just stupid painful. Especially since it was of my own volition.

But there was a lot of good too. I attended 2 epic bachelor parties, attended 4 weddings, and was even best man in one of them. My 2010 also had bits of Something Corporate, Greg Jennings, a lot of Milwaukee, Isle Royale, camping with friends, tailgating, coffee with a Bang (yum, Water Street Coffee!), 5k and 10k races, a construction cone, some at times super-challenging yet rewarding jobs, and meeting my awesome girlfriend who I cannot say enough great things about. All in all I’ll take 2010 as is. I’m still alive and 2011 is set up to rock! Happy New Year everyone!!

Marcus wanted one last basketball hurrah before getting hitched…this after us all somehow surviving Toronto the weekend before.

Tailgating before the Brewer’s game for Greg’s bachelor party. For the better there are no existing photos of George Webb’s and the late night Siren-spell it cast on me.

All of the WMU alum at Greg and Kelley’s wedding.

I met AND creeped out Greg Jennings!

Leaving our campsite in the rain with our motor that kept dying. Still, one of the best trips of my life! Thank you Kyle and Amy!

Camping on Isle Royale…greatest backpacking trip yet! F*&%ing gorgeous!!!

Milwaukee for the SoCo concert!! Kyle and I had an epic week…

A very successful despite being very hung-over 5k Campus Classic

Sarah…who somehow handles all of my craziness/quirkiness/weirdness…cause she rocks! I say bring it on 2011, I am happy and I am ready!

Merry Christmas

2010-12-23T01:44:00.001-05:00

This is Sarah. She is a UNC fan…and is not a Taylor Swift fan. Yet she is kinda awesome and I am so thankful to have her in my life. So this is happiness, it’s nice.

Merry Christmas everyone, hope your holidays are bright, fun, and of course snowy!! C’mon glorious white Christmas!!!

“Here I was again tonight forcing laughter, faking smiles
Same old tired, lonely place
Walls of insincerity
Shifting eyes and vacancy vanished when I saw your face
All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you
Your eyes whispered "have we met?"
Across the room your silhouette starts to make it's way to me
The playful conversation starts
Counter all your quick remarks like passing notes in secrecy
And it was enchanting to meet you
All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you
This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you
The lingering question kept me up
2am, who do you love?
I wonder till I'm wide awake
Now I'm pacing back and forth, wishing you were at my door
I'd open up and you would say,
It was enchanted to meet you
All I know is I was enchanted to meet you
This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
This night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you
This is me praying that this was the very first page
Not where the story line ends
My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again
These are the words I held back as I was leaving too soon
I was enchanted to meet you
Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you
Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you
This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
This night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you
Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you”

my beautiful dark twisted fantasy

2010-12-11T13:51:00.001-05:00

“N-ggas be writin’ bullsh-t like they gotta work
N-ggas going through real sh-t, man they outta work
That’s why another gawd damn dance track, gotta hurt
That’s why I rather spit something that gotta perch
Champagne wishes, 30 white bitches
I mean the sh-t is, f-cking ridiculous”

In 2010 Rap has been saved for me. Club/radio “hip hop” had been killing me for years. Sure, Weezy is the best at it and has talent. He can flow…but the lyrics always make me cringe cause they’re so generic. Which is especially painful when you know he is capable of so much more. Rap was in a sad state for me this year.

Until I discovered Freddie Gibbs and the Hilltop Hoods. True underground street rap. So refreshing. Then Eminem dropped his best album ever, Recovery. And I can say best ever now, I’ve listened to it way too much. Completely restored my faith in rap. The champ was back. Between that album and Em’s work on “Roman’s Revenge” with Nicki Minaj and “Airplanes pt. 2” with B.O.B., fantastic year.

So 2010 was headed for my favorite rap year in a decade…then I got ahold of Kanye West’s new album, “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy”. I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with Kanye. LOVED Late Registration. First rap album since “The Eminem Show” that blew me away. Then came “Graduation”, and it was alright. Very hit and miss to me. Then their was the auto-tune disaster known as “808s & Heartbreak”. I hate auto-tune…and everything about this album. MBDTW is Kanye’s best album yet. I mean, “it’s f*cking ridiclous.” With fantastic guest appearances from Jay-Z, Bon Iver, Nicki Minaj, RZA, John Legend, Pusha T, and more…my only complaint is where is Common? Oh and Eminem would have been amazing too…but I struggle to see them ever collaborating. MBDTW is Kanye humbled, angry, and out to prove he still has it. And wow, he does. Just check out Gorgeous, So Appalled, or Monster. Excellent rap goodness.

“I went from the favourite to the most hated
or would you rather be underpaid or over-rated?
moral victories is for minor league coaches
and ‘Ye already told you “We Major” you cockroaches
show me where the boats is, Ferrari testarossa’s
the Hammer went broke so you know I’m more focused
I lost thirty mill so I spent another 30
cuz unlike Hammer 30 million can’t hurt me
f-cking insane, the f-ck am I sayin’
not only am I fly, I’m f-cking not playing
all these little b-tches too big for their britches
burning their little bridges
f-cking ridiculous”

the art of the fist bump

2010-12-06T18:55:00.000-05:00

Friday night I had my best fist bump ever. I was at Up and Under and was trying to pay my tab…of one drink. Problem is there is a $5 minimum to run a card, and I didn’t have any cash. Well I wasn’t about to slam another drink and then drive home, so I just ordered another beer and ran my card. I looked around hoping to spot someone I could offer this beer too (and if I reflect on this more, I realize it was a weird plan, but I was being nice). There was a big black dude I didn’t know a couple of seats down who was waiting to get something at the bar. I walked up to him and said, “Yo, I had to get another beer to run another card but I’m driving and can’t drink this, you want a beer?”
“You for real?”
“Yea man, it’s yours if you want it.”
“Cool cool, thanks man.”

Then he doesn’t just fist bump me, he give me a whole arm bump; from fist to elbow. I don’t even know why I’m proud of this, but I am still excited!

And of course I’ve had the students in my class fist bumping for awhile now. They like high fives, but even they understand just how cool the fist bump actually is. And it’s a great deterrent/distraction/compromise for when they ask me for a freakin’ hug.*

Oh, and my kids are hysterical when they fist bump. For instance this morning right after busing, one of my students went on a huge fist bumping kick (which she is prone to do) and started asking everyone she saw for one in the hallway. Only how she asked was to walk up to people with one arm stretched straight out in front of her, fist clenched, and then she’d ask in a sing-song voice “Are you cold?”. Then laugh. I helped her out when I could by explaining that she was offering a fist bump. But when she started asking other students she was on her own.

*side rant. And yes, I realize this forum is not an appropriate place for this rant, but I KNOW I am right. One of my biggest problems with the school I work at is the amount the students are hugged. Specifically when they are very young. And I’m not talking like a 4-year old fell down and cut her knee and needs to be comforted. I’m talking a 4-year old is playing by themselves and a staff will walk by and just hug the kid….for the next 6 years. With our population, this is a problem. It’s why I have 14-year old students (one who is even offsite half day) asking me for hugs throughout the day. Or have a student who the first time I take him to Meijer runs up to some random old grandpa trying to buy eggs and hugs him so hard it might be assault. Stop f*cking hugging the little kids unnecessarily!!! I used to bite my tongue, but now that I feel like I belong a bit at my school, I have been (diplomatically) speaking my mind much more about this.

being me

2010-11-30T21:01:00.001-05:00

I am weird.

I talk to myself. Out loud. A lot. My roommate and co-workers might think I’m insane. And it’s not just talking, I am usually sarcastic with myself. I can’t even say I’m working on this, it keeps me task-oriented. An example, a few minutes ago I made tea. I turned off the kitchen light and headed for the stairs so I could start writing a blog post. Once I had turned off the kitchen light, I realized I had left no other lights on upstairs even though I had just come from there and was now in the dark. What did I do? Walked in the dark, the whole way talking to myself. Some stream of “Oh, this was f*cking brilliant. I’m carrying a scalding cup of tea in the dark trying to find a staircase. Atta boy.” Then when safely reaching my room “Ha, what now stairs! A child could traverse you.” Again, not thoughts, but actual spoken words.

Why didn’t I just turn on a light downstairs? Because the way the switches are arranged there is no way to turn the kitchen or the dining room light off from the stairs. So why not go to the stairs, turn on the stair light, and then go back to the dining room light switch and turn it off? Why the heck would I do that?! For one, that’s an extra return trip across my living room (and I realize as someone who both biked to and from work today and then ran 4ish miles that that thought is asinine). My 2nd reason is a little more logical, I am terrible at spilling liquids in cups. There is way too much danger in my walking a bonus 20’ on flat carpet.

Why didn’t I just leave the light on downstairs and go about my business. Because I am ANAL about leaving lights on or things plugged in. If I leave an unoccupied room for 30 seconds I am turning off the light. As soon as I am done with my coffee pot or my Hot Shot (1-minute hot water heater…and my favorite appliance) it is unplugged. Ditto all kitchen appliances. And it’s not even the 25 cents I’m saving on my electric bill, I just have to turn off the lights. Which thanks to the somewhat ridiculous light switch layout of my apartment means I am more often than not navigating it in the dark.

And at work apparently some, maybe even a majority think I’m some kind of hardcore vegetarian (fun side fact, I just spilled tea all over me, it’s inevitable). I was eating a turkey sandwich at lunch in the break room when someone who I used to work with stopped eating and stared at me puzzled before she asked “Lee, what are you eating?” I thought that was a dumb question, but said “A turkey sandwich.” She replied, “But I thought you were a vegetarian?” I may be a bad person for this, but I laughed in her face. I couldn’t help it. Me, really? I said, “No, not at all.” Of course a 2nd person piped up then, “Oh, I thought you were a vegetarian too.” And apparently that was the consensus of the room. No one could give a specific reason why they thought I was a vegetarian (not that I have anything against it mind you, I just like meat WITH my veggies). Now of course I can go on week long binges with no meat (to the astonishment of my roommate when I came to the realization at some point in October that this was my first BITE of meat in 9 days). But the reason why isn’t health related, or vegetarian related. It’s just lazy. I don’t like cooking meat. I wind up freezing a lot of my meat…and I never think to thaw it in time to eat. I keep meaning to buy tofu actually, not because I want to replace meat, but because I want something I don’t have to freeze that I can keep for more than a couple of days without spoiling.

Part of the hardcore image I have (any of my friends reading this are laughing right now) is fueled by my biking to work…regardless of the weather. Take this morning, light mist, but 53 degrees warm! Wow, I thought with my still sleeping mind, I can bike in shorts and a t-shirt to work today! So I biked to work, soaked all of my clothes, but had some stuff to change into so I was fine, right? Wrong. I didn’t look at the HOURLY forecast. Specifically the part where the temp would drop to 36 for my ride home…in my wet clothes…with my hat, gloves, and wind jacket safely but useless in my bedroom. Cold! And I crashed when my hands were too frozen to properly squeeze my brake on a tight turn on celery flats. Luckily I happen to be good at falling and was able to leap from my bike, do one roll/fall and bounce back up. Bike on!

And I wonder why I’ve been battling a not-so-terrible-but-not-getting-any-better-cold for better than a week now!

Thankful

2010-11-24T15:23:00.000-05:00

Sure, I’m thankful for friends and family
Work, riding my bike, and coffee
Days with a chance of snow
Got my skis waxed and ready to go
I’m thankful from my outstretched fingers to my core

I’m thankful for all of my trials and missteps
My friends who helped me push them to the rear
I’m thankful for all of my mistakes
Without them I wouldn’t be who I am here
I’ve got a box full of flaws, but I am so much more

The summer sunset on the shore by my tent at Isle Royale
Just being on the island in the first place
Every moment that has reminded me I am alive
Awake, a great winter wind on my face
Thankful for every adventure, which I adore

I’m thankful you pushed me away then
And I’m thankful for all of the random
How you just danced into my life
Like a shooting star that burned up a lonely night
I’m thankful, even more now than before

I’m thankful for every smile, how everything feels like
It’s going to be alright. When weary snapped with one laugh
I stepped on the pieces, felt joy outright
The future, its right offshore coming into sight
I’m thankful for what’s been and for what’s in store

Give thanks then smile, laugh, and dance
Stand up, go for it, and take a chance

Speak Now

2010-11-20T12:10:00.001-05:00

This is going to be a Taylor Swift post…but before that happens I have to quick share my new favorite SNL digital short:

Great Day–Andy Samberg

Alright, Taylor Swift confessional time. Due to several of my TSwift obsessed friends, I was exposed to Taylor very early in her career. Like the day her original self-titled album came out. And I didn’t like it. At first.

The only songs I initially was okay with listening to were “should’ve said no” and “teardrops on my guitar”. But thanks to constant peppering, eventually several others got stuck in my head (I’d lie, picture to burn, our song, etc). By the time Fearless rolled out I was a casual Taylor fan. To the point that when I crashed with my friend Christy in Chicago I wound up putting the original album on my iPod back near the end of ‘08. Seemed harmless, occasionally I even listened to it (loved White Horse and Forever & Always). But then my old iPod crashed and I had to reset it…and lost ALL of my music! The horror. I lost much more important music at the time than TSwift (stuff I didn’t actually own or have on my computer, just on my iPod like Gorillaz, Rilo Kiley, Andrew Bird, Jimmy Eat World, etc) and so it took awhile for it to bother me that I missed Fearless.

By last winter I was going through withdrawal bad enough (the constant playing of You Belong With Me was bothering me, I couldn’t get enough) that I knew since I was going to stay with Christy again for NYE I would this time take my FLASH drive and get Fearless. Bonus, I got Fearless: Deluxe Edition featuring the face melting “jump then fall” and “forever & always acoustic version”. Within 2 weeks I was officially a hardcore Taylor Swift fan.

Enter Speak Now. I don’t listen to a ton of radio, but had obviously heard “Mine” on the radio. It wasn’t bad, but it seemed kind of vanilla to me. Nothing to elicit a ton of excitement for TSwift’s new album. Then in October I went to a wedding with Christy (who if I am a hardcore fan, she is a ‘Taylor’s body guards surely have a picture of that says “dangerous, capable of anything, take down at all costs”’ fan) and she had been getting the singles off of Speak Now as they were released on iTunes. And wow, they were different AND good.

That Sunday I did some online shopping to see if there were any deals for pre-ordering the CD. Boom, $7 on Amazon.com! I had officially ordered my first Taylor Swift album.

Well it came, and a few days later Christy, performing a feat of strength, somehow emailed me ALL of the deluxe edition songs from a 56k modem in the middle of nowhere as she had gone into seclusion up north to study for her CPA. That is Taylor Swift dedication!

So what do I think of Speak Now? Absolutely love it! If Eminem hadn’t released Recovery this year, this would be my album of the year. Oh, and the deluxe edition is completely worth it. The only bummer is that there is an acoustic version of Back to December on it…which happens to be the only song I didn’t like on the album. My favorite song was originally Speak Now…and then it was Better Than Revenge…now I think I’m stuck on Enchanted…or the acoustic version (D.E.) of Haunted.

Apparently it is well known at my school that I am a Taylor fan. Two Mondays ago I went to hang my coat up in my locker and found someone had put a picture of Taylor on it with a note “To my biggest fan, Lee Garrett S… XOXO Taylor”. Loved it, this is still on my locker door. Of course we had conferences this week, which meant working 7:30am to 8pm Wednesday and Thursday this week. Well by 6pm on Thursday everyone had lost their sanity (yep, I actually lost mine earlier when I was working on my 2nd of three pots of coffee consumed) and some very inappropriate jokes/stories were being told. And I cannot go into details here on this, but Friday when I went to hang up my coat, bike shoes, and backpack in my locker I opened it to find a picture of Beaker from the Muppets saying “Taylor Swift rocks” and at the bottom “Happy Friday Lee”. I laughed hard, that was fantastic!

testing

2010-11-15T22:16:00.006-05:00

I’ve had my computer and Windows 7 up and operational since last March. But today I finally got around to installing and giving a trial run to some of the Windows Live apps. There really isn’t anything too insightful about this post. I was mostly just curious about Windows Live Writer which I’ve heard is actually a very convenient way to do blog posts. The big thing I wanted to test was if it could make posting pictures on my blog easier since that has always been a pain in the ass for me. To test this, here are some random pics from this fall:

This is from the Halloween parade at WE. Yes, I busted out my Polish Man superhero costume. Fun day.

From the WMU vs EMU game last Saturday. Some of my awesome friends I tailgated with. Crazy and fun day!

Pumpkin I carved for the World Series.

From Halloween at District Square. If you can’t figure out what I am, hint: This is the day Iowa BLEW OUT the Spartans and ended their joke Championship hopes. Showing my appreciation.

Hahaha, so this is my roommate. And as part of my video experiment…sorry Kyle. Context: I had a horrible day/week at work and convinced Kyle to have a drink(s!) with me. Our friends Christy and May had just that day sent us a video message via webcam. This was our response. If you’ve seen their original video then you know our response is even more nonsensical than it seems

And I’m done. Love how easy it is to manipulate photos and even the video dimensions. Uploading was instant. Only negative was that when I tried to import pictures from the web, I couldn’t get any pics from FB to work. Easy go around if I just save it to my computer and then use it. Think I’ll be using WLW again!

*edit: After I tried to post it...my pictures were in disarray. Ahhh....sigh. I still liked typing in WLW better than in blogger though.

a goal against Mexico

2010-11-14T18:31:00.000-05:00

And Friday my soccer career came to an end. Or at least this session came to an end. My team is actually playing the next session which starts this Friday...but I think I am going to take a pass on it. My turf toe is killing me and I need it to go away. My roommate and his friend in town for the weekend were making fun of me when I didn't want to go out to Wild Bull with them to dance on Friday because I couldn't walk or put weight on my foot after our doubleheader. Well I had the last laugh (albeit an unsatisfying one) when I pulled off my sock and showed them my foot. "Holy sh*t, your right big toe is twice as big as the left one!" Indeed.

For our first game Friday we played the Mexican Senior National Team. The entire team was Hispanic, and all but one were at least north of 35, probably 40. But wow, could they pass! And do things with the ball that I didn't even understand. Needless to say we wound up getting slaughtered as they completely exposed our players who don't get back on defense. But for me, it was very satisfying to score the GOOOAAAALLLLL of my life!! Which wound up being my team's loan goal of the game. I was about 10' from the goal off to the side near the wall and I took a cross that was about knee high. My only play on it to release a shot as the goalie charged me was to fall and slide to my right as I kicked the ball out of the air left footed at the goalie. Magic and a miracle later and the ball shot just past the goalies outstretched hands and bent back toward the goal, hitting the far post and bouncing in. It was so good, my friend Amy who has played soccer all of her life and was watching our game immediately texted me"omg, that was awesome. nice shot!" So I ran back for defense, and 4 seconds later as I was still celebrating in my mind and imagining myself as the next Pele I misplayed a bouncing ball horribly and gave the Mexican National Team a quick and easy goal. Oops. Sub!

The other reason I didn't really want to go out Friday night was that a bunch of my friends were planning on tailgating bright and early at the WMU football game, and I didn't want to miss it. And the tailgate was a huge success (so successful in fact that our tailgate continued in the stadium for the entire game! In related news, pudding shots are amazing). I dominated some cornhole, played a made up "hot potato"-like game of catch with the football. And my personal favorite, jumping in and playing tackle football with a bunch of 10-year olds right before we left to go to the game. My team was mostly girls playing against an all-boys team. But man, those girls could tackle hard! Alas their coverage skills left a lot to be desired (they were very amused with all of my nonsense playcall yelling "cover 3!", "audible, safety blitz....nooo not all-out blitz, get back get back get back!!" I was basically a more intoxicated but slightly nicer version of this: http://www.hulu.com/watch/1603/saturday-night-live-snl-digital-short-united-way . Great times!

biking to work

2010-11-11T19:20:00.001-05:00

I've been very "blah" the past couple of days. Just kind of worn out, despite sleeping more this week than maybe the past 2 weeks combined. Not really depressed, but a potent mixture of "not joyful" and "little bit frustrated" with both work and life. I think I need a vacation. Or an adventure. Both. I'm thinking for my spring break I'm going to fly/drive somewhere that still has snow and just ski ski ski. Probably solo since I can't think of a friend that would both be interested and have that time slot available. Then next summer I'm going to road trip to Moab, Utah to mountain bike (with some backpacking/camping sprinkled across the way) with at least hopefully my bro. But these adventures feel so far off and are hardly concrete. The present just seems kinda stagnant.

There have been 2 positives this week though. I can't really elaborate on the first (for fear of jinxing it...and this just isn't the place) other than to say it seems the stars MIGHT be mercifully aligning and there MIGHT be a change coming to my classroom. Please God, let there be change!

The other is I have finally started biking to work. With great success! Especially in the morning. I love the cold wind biting my face, reminds me explicitly of skiing. It's better than coffee (which if I could just say F work and bike forever, I would never need coffee. Alas this is not the case and the coffee pot in the workroom and I are on pretty close terms). I cannot wait to bike in the snow. Like "I wish we had a blizzard tomorrow" cannot wait. Still working on the correct amount of layers for my pedaling commute. Tuesday I thought I was going to have frostbite when my numb hands (forgot gloves) finally ripped my ID out of my backpack to let me into the building. Then today I had gloves and for the first time a headband to protect my previously unprotected ears. But I failed to notice the temperature this morning was at least 10 degrees warmer than any of my previous commutes, and by the time I'd made it halfway to work I was sweating. I'm sure I made a great site this morning as I paused on the I-94 overpass on Lover's Lane to tear off my gloves, coat, and headband. Of course this time I stripped too much, and was frozen again by the time I pulled into WE.

Oh, and it was 70 today...really??? It was 38 degrees ABOVE the temperature at which point snow will fall and not melt...in mid-November...in Michigan, a northern state. I want to punch global warming like Robert Downey Jr punched a 10-year old in Due Date and then threatened him with "if you tell anyone I will disembowel you".

first soccer then turf toe

2010-11-06T23:56:00.047-04:00

I should have written this post last weekend...but kept getting distracted. By Thursday I decided I should save this 'til after my soccer game this week to continue it since I wanted to see what could befall me THIS time playing soccer.

So why oh why did I write a post talking about how October had been such an injury filled month for me the day before I had another soccer game...in October? To quote my laughing friend Ryan after the game as I hopped on one leg up the steps last week, "Man, you just got your ass kicked." Yep.

I stepped onto the field last Friday in the best shape yet I've had for a soccer game. Which was good, because we had zero subs. That's right, time to play 50 minutes against a team with their full roster there. Now since I'm good at falling and played football my entire youth life, I have no fear of full-speed collisions. Which one would think there aren't a lot of in soccer. Wrong. I had SIX of them last week in one game. I drew 5 whistles on my opponent, which is fantastically awesome since I caused all of them by not caring about my body and sprinting right at my opponent and beating them to the ball, then colliding in an explosion. The first two were fine, I bounced right up. The 3rd one I took a full kick to the shin (and instantly understood the point of shin guards...and why if I played real soccer I would invest in them) that hobbled me for a few minutes, but no subs, so play on. Just as I was thinking that my shin hurt I had my 4th collision and this time got kicked right on my big toe...the same one I hurt way back in September playing ultimate frisbee. After that my shin felt fantastic. But I could barely walk or put weight on my toe. I managed to make it another minute before somehow getting in a 5th collision I actually didn't intent to have and it broke me. I had to play goalie since I could no longer run (and my friends who tailgated with me Saturday got to witness my not being able to walk, stairs and hills hurt so bad!). I suck at goalie. And gave up a couple of soft ones (in between a couple of neat saves I have to add). With only a couple of minutes left in the game the other team had a breakaway and I decided screw this, I am going to challenge him. Well this would have been a great tactic if I could sprint and not just hobble run. I did not beat him to the ball like usual and he took his shot (and missed a wide open net) then since I couldn't put much weight on my toe and couldn't stop I totally took him out. In the goal box...penalty kick! Oh sh*t. If I thought goalie was lonely....nothing compares to waiting to try and stop a PK. The goal seems big enough to suck up 3 oceans....and it's soooo quiet. And here I blacked out for a few seconds, but somehow I actually stopped the PK, like I got a hand on it, knocked it down, and was able to dive on it before anyone else got to it. Miracle!

But the cost of my soccer effort was not being able to walk Friday night or Saturday. I WebMDed my injury later, turf toe! Which is a major sprain of the soft tissue where the toe bone connects to the foot socket (I completely made that word up, but it serves the right purpose). Not an injury that can get worse, but the only way to get better is to take three weeks off of my foot for it to fully heal. BS, I have soccer every week! Plus I run and am starting to play basketball again on Sundays. Deal with it toe.

Enter yesterday's soccer game. I feel pretty good going into it, can run with only minor discomfort (and not enough that a couple of Ibuprofin and a little adrenaline won't silence it). But I know one wrong kick or one collision with my foot and I'll be one-footed for the next 24-36 hours. I settle on making a conscious effort to play cerebral and not as physical. And within a minute of entering the game, I score my 2nd GOAL of the season, 3rd of my career, and first ever with my left foot!

But my game is not offense...or any part of soccer where I have to handle the ball. I am a defender, and actually pretty good. Definitely the best on my team, which might not be saying much as I'm the only one who will consistently stay on defense or at least run back if I go on the attack. Thanks to being faster than I look, I can get to the ball much quicker than my opponents think. In fact my favorite thing is when they play a pass to themselves off the wall expecting to run by me and I still get to the ball first. And this week I finally added a mental wrinkle to my game. When an opponent I am near is receiving a pass and has to turn his back to me to get control of the ball, I used to always try and sprint around him and take the ball, or just be in his grill harassing him. This usually worked, but there would be times when a more skilled player that new I was going around him was deft enough to let the ball go through and be off running. So now I mix it up sometimes and sprint at the player while he's looking at me, but as soon as his head turns, I stop. And boom, he gets the ball, makes an unnecessary move, and passes the ball right to me. Yes, I too feel like I get joy out of some strange things. But I love taking the ball away from players who have been playing soccer their whole life and are much much more skilled with the ball than I am. It even makes me happy to think they have to be so pissed I can stop them when I can't even dribble a soccer ball down the field. I am sad our season ends after next week. Strangely, I will miss soccer, a sport I am both good and terrible at.

Oh, and later in the same game yesterday, I somehow wound up on a breakaway with the ball and only the goalie to beat. Realizing I was terrible with the ball he charged me. And my awkwardness must have been totally new to him cause I got a very fortuitous bounce/spin out of the ball after we hit it at the same time that the ball popped right in front of me again...only now the goalie was behind me. Goal number TWO of the night, three of the season, and four for my career!! I was so elated the first thing I did after the game was of course update my Twitter with the following Tweet: 2 GOALS!!!!!! I'm like some.....um, insert soccer star there. 2 goals!!! I'm to soccer what Glen Beck is to @thedailyshow F*%$ing priceless

I'm also real good at modesty.

the first stage of grief

2010-11-03T16:27:00.000-04:00

If I had a list of all of the musical artists I want to see live; Eminem would be #1, The Hold Steady would be #2, and Justin Bieber would be 3 spots beyond dead last. So you can't imagine when I was home alone, happened to glance at The Hold Steady concert agenda and read "Kalamazoo - The Strutt - November 20th" I jumped, I yelled, I might have even cried. It was that beautiful of a moment. Didn't even care if no one wanted to go with me, I wouldn't think twice about attending this concert alone. Way too awesome.

Well a couple of hours later my initial joy receded enough to give me some clarity. I should buy my ticket now, The Strutt is not very big. Can it even seat 100 people? 200? I go back to the band's homepage and as I scroll down for every show (including this Friday's) I see "Find Tickets" or "Book Tickets"....until I get to November 20th. "Sold Out". NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooeexxxxpppplllliiitttttiiiiivvvvvvveeeeessssss!!!!!

I am working my way through the 5 stages of grief. I am still on step 1: Denial. If I check stubhub, ebay, craigslist, google, etc religiously, I will stumble onto a ticket. Or I will show up to The Strutt when they open that Saturday and hide in the bathroom for however many hours it takes. Or maybe I can apply to work there, or sell a kidney, or take someone hostage. My imagination is dedicated to the cause.

Speak Now

2010-10-28T22:43:00.000-04:00

Rangers in 6. I know they lost game 1 when their Ace, Cliff Lee, got shelled. And I know they're losing 1-0 right now. But I wrote a post I never finished predicting the World Series. Kind of glad I didn't get it finished...cause at this rate the Giants might sweep. So why didn't I finish it?

I somehow agreed to burn some CD's for a co-worker whose daughter turns 16 on Friday and was having a party. Seemed innocent enough. She'd bring me some blank discs, and maybe a list of some songs she liked. And I'd throw together a couple of mixes. Well on Monday I received the list...and it was over 100 songs long!! And I consider myself pretty musically diverse and have about 8,000 songs on my computer. But even I was surprised about how little I had in common with a 16 year old girl. Like I pretty much I had her Eminem songs and that was it. Sure, I have a couple of Kate Perry...but not the ones listed. Ditto Lil Wayne, Lady Gaga, Drake, etc. Now I have some "methods" for acquiring music I don't necessarily feel like paying for....but not anything I felt comfortable downloading a 100 songs for. Didn't help I didn't actually look at any of the songs until Wednesday when I got home from work (and had promised to return the discs Thursday), go procrastination.

But I did my best. Threw together 5 mixes. My co-worker was thrilled. I think they're decent. I totally did an album of StereoBomb too. These mixes are amazing (and free, you can get them here: http://thestereobomb.com/downloads.php). I even burned some more acoustic/folkish music for my co-worker since that's what she listens too. Yep, above and beyond the call of duty. Really what ate up my time was writing out the track lastings for all of the CD's. My burner can pump out a CD in 2 minutes....but it takes me a lot longer to write out the tracks....especially if I'm trying to be legible.

How was I rewarded for my hard work? By slicing my knee open when I jumped up from my chair to answer my phone and put my knee into my open optical drive. It was pretty cool, there was like a long line of skin just hanging from the corner of my Burner. Then my knee started bleeding and wouldn't stop. I've bled more this month than the rest of this year I bet. Add this to all of my ailments I've suffered since running my 10k back in MID-September: sprained toe, skinned knee, skinned wrist, head wound, concussion, strained LCL, sprained thumb, skinned knee (again), broken toenail, bloody nose, sliced my hand open on my ID badge, scratched by a student on my arm/hand, allergies, and nasty sinus infection/cold that I'm still slowly recovering from.

This week was the first week since my 10k where I was healthy enough to run more than twice (and only the 2nd week I ran more than once). And it feels great to run. Could have done without the rain today, but still felt great. I have to decide soon if I want to make a go for running the Kalamazoo marathon next spring (my guess is I won't...winter seems a rough time to train when I won't have access to indoor facilities)...and it would be nice to actually run a bit.

I got the new Taylor Swift CD. Loved Fearless, and I know I've only had Speak Now for 3 days, but it might somehow be better! Loving it!! :)

just tolerated

2010-10-23T19:48:00.000-04:00

"What an honor to have been 'just tolerated' by Bill O'Reilly"

-Stephen Colbert

I'm a big fan of the Colbert Report, and though its been on break this week, they released some online only "case files" tracking certain topics from the start of the show to the present. The growth and development of the Tea Party was really funny. But the best is easily this one on Papa Bear Bill O'Reilly: http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/362321/october-18-2010/on-topic--colbert-case-files---papa-bear

Also in visual media, last night I saw "The Town" finally. Fantastic! After "Extract" and this, Ben Affleck has really shot up in my actor/actress power rankings (more on this later). It also helps that after Extract, every time I see or hear Ben Affleck, I am stunned by how much he reminds me of my friend Bob-o. Oh, and John Hamm (Mad Men) is one the leads and is his always A+ self. If you like him in The Town, then you need to enter the world of Don Draper and start watching Mad Men.

I've watched a lot of movies that I've also read the book it was based on (Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Atonement, Shutter Island, It, Jurassic Park, and so many more). But there has usually been a large time lapse for me between when I finish them. That all changed when I read Steig Larsson's "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" in a week and watched the movie (a Swedish foreign film in subtitles...but an American version is opening in theaters in the spring!) the day after finishing it.

Both movie and book were good and I recommend them...but the book is better. Due to time constraints, the movie is forced to omit some of the plot elements or completely change them. And the ending of the book is much more satisfying (in the thank God it's not a "happily ever after" ending. Same for The Town. Sometimes sh*t just doesn't work out for you). And while the book isn't a classic or anything, it reads very fast and Lisbeth is a super-compelling character. I just kept wanting to know more about her. Without Lisbeth, the book would not be nearly as strong. I was able to figure out the "who done it" for the murder investigation relatively early and none of the twists at the end shocked me. Well one of the twists did surprise me with how much it twisted. Was not expecting to be reminded of the movie "Hostel."

Back to the actors/actresses power rankings. Approach this as if it were a fantasy draft. You and 9 other people are going to randomly determine a draft order, then start picking people. When you draft a person, you get ALL of their movies they ever were in. So assuming a draft consisting of mixed people; three under 25 years old, four 25-40, and three 40+ along with 5 men, 5 women. Here is a logical first round:

1- Jack Nicholson

2- Katharine Hepburn

3- Dustin Hoffman

4- Meryl Streep (her IMDB page is stunning! Before I went crazy browsing through IMDB I had not even considered her)

5- Tom Hanks

6- Sean Penn

7- Robert De Niro

8- Marlon Brando

9- Al Pacino

10- Harrison Ford

So you get the point. Anyways here is my personal top 10 actors/actresses I will target to get the movies I want:

1- Bill Murray: Even if I had the top overall pick I have to go here. I could not live without Caddyshack or What About Bob. Throw in all the Wes Anderson movies and for me it's a no-brainer.

2- Harrison Ford: Depending on how the draft was going this could easily be an audible. But the chance for Star Wars and Indiana Jones is a lot to pass on despite a relatively skimpy IMDB.

3- Matt Damon: Two great Bourne movies (Supremacy did NOTHING for me), The Departed and I am just a fan.

4- Philip Seymour Hoffman: I could take him as high as 2. This lands you the way underrated "Almost Famous" and the Big Lebowski.

5- Russell Crowe: Another stellar IMDB page.

6- Johnny Depp: This is a tough draft. Where does Jack Sparrow go? A Nightmare on Elm Street, Once Upon a Time in Mexico (love love love this movie), Sweeney Todd, The Corpse Bride. F-ing brilliant.

7- Samuel L. Jackson: Pulp Fiction, Inglorious Basterds, and JURASSIC PARK.

8- Paul Rudd: Wet Hot American Summer! Thank you Jake for introducing me to this classic. Oh, and more known greats I Love You, Man, Monsters vs Aliens, Role Models, Anchorman, Knocked Up, etc.

9- Simon Pegg: HOT FUZZ!!!! Shaun of the Dead (and Land of the Dead), Star Trek, the TV series Spaced.

10- John Cusack: Several of you are saying "WHAT, really???". Yeah, really, soft spot here. High Fidelity (sleeper chick flick, this movie rocks), Identity, Con Air, Sixteen Candles (say what!?), 1408, and even the enjoyable Hot Tub Time Machine. Oh, and he's starring/playing Edgar Allen Poe in the upcoming flick, The Raven.

11- Steve Carell: So many good and under-appreciated movies. Just watch this Between the Ferns to understand).

Here are some mid/later round sleepers I would target depending on which movies I was missing:

Robert Downey Jr.: He would go before I would want him, but if I were to consider how great he has been recently, I might reach for him trusting his future endeavors continue to entertain. And somehow I have to get Tropic Thunder. Secretly the funniest movie of 2008.

Luke or Owen Wilson/Jason Schwartzman: If I miss out on Bill, I need one of them to get the Wes Anderson movies. And the Wilson's will also net Old School or Wedding Crashers. Solid mid-round pick.

Ben Affleck: Extract! Or Jason Bateman.

Edward Norton: American History X, Fight Club...very underrated as an actor.

Joe Pesci: Somehow I have to land Goodfellas. Plus Home Alone (2), Raging Bull. Nice.

Jude Law: I also need to get I Heart Huckabees. Jude comes with Enemy at the Gates (need to re-watch this, but loved it in high school) and Sherlock Holmes. Alas you'll have to burn The Holiday.

John Malkovich: massive IMDB page. "Being John Malkovich" was one of the weirdest movies I've ever seen. Not really a compliment.

Eli Roth- Going super deep here, but gets you Star Trek and Death Proof...and if you still need Inglorious Basterds will net that too.

A 6 Month January

2010-10-18T22:15:00.003-04:00

It's in those days after the leaves fall down

Magic

But to see January dressed in brown

Tragic

If only everyday could be white as a bride's dress

Fantastic

Five feet of fluff, where's the road, guess

Dramatic

Oh Mr. Jack Frost, come out and play

Freezer

A 3-month sunshine famine, what'ya say

Teaser

I want icicles to sprout on my beard

Occur

Make the weathermen think, this is getting weird

Concur

I don't just want it to snow, I want a blizzard

Desire

Your PhD's from Hogwarts: cold weather wizard

Attire

Tell global warming, "hey you're just a myth, bitch"

Conspire

Cause I want to ski, oooh, I've got a fierce itch

Afire

all around we go

2010-10-13T22:35:00.004-04:00

Quick thoughts, since I feel like I've been neglectful to my blog. Not for lack of things to write...but I have too many ideas floating around...can't seem to focus and catch one.

Today a couple of important things happened. The big one being that I discovered you can pre-order the new Taylor Swift CD for only $8 on Amazon.com! October 25th!! The other is that I had an interview for a 2nd job I am hoping will work out for me. It would be doing some part-time accounts receivable stuff for a small business here in Portage. Today was encouraging...but not being free 'til 3:30pm each day is an obstacle. Keeping my fingers crossed I can pull this off.

Got a sweet deal on a PS3 and that comes tomorrow. I am a fantastic online shopper/researcher!! Next step will be a new TV around Christmas.

I haven't been blogging, but I have been writing. Wrote a couple of different first chapters to what could be stories? Probably won't do anything with them or continue, but hey, at least I did that.

For the first time in my life I have had fall allergies. Apparently when we don't have one single frickin' cold snap going on mid-October, something grows/sprouts/pollinates and whatever IT is, it hates my eyes. Even now I'm stopping every minute or so to itch them and they are bloodshot red. I look like I smoke pot 8 hours a day instead of work with my insane kids. I NEED winter!!

GOOOOAAAAAALLLLLL

2010-10-09T20:41:00.001-04:00

"Maybe I would have been

Something you'd be good at

Maybe you would have been

Something I'd be good at

But now we'll never know

I won't be sad"

Last weekend was the Campus Classic. And yep, my friends and I closed down Shakespeare's and then ran the 5k at 9am. And set a new hungover 5k personal record! My previous 2 years times had been 20.28 and a so slow 22.48 last year. This year I bounced back big with 22.08 (check the results here, I was 64th overall out of 1355 runners!), despite the course seeming even more uphill than usual. Making my run even more impressive is that I had done virtually nothing active since my 10k in terms of running because I had jammed my toe real bad right after. And it was still hurting Saturday morning (and still slightly even now). Plus I had my first soccer game that Friday night and conveniently tweaked a knee ligament somehow (didn't hurt at the time, but even running the past day or so I can still feel its annoying presence).

Speaking of soccer, I had played 1 season of intramural before. My senior year of college I played on a couple of indoor teams at Western. I scored 1 goal the entire time. Well last week I scored my teams FIRST goal of the season! It was great, I got the ball like 5' from the goalie, totally whiffed on my kick and the goalie was diving to where the ball should of gone. So I had this wide-open net yet somehow still weakly kicked the ball to the goalie, only he was off-balance now and falling and could only watch helplessly as the ball hit his outstretched fingers and rolled across the line. Total fluke, but I was pumped! And to redeem myself I made the pass of my life a few minutes later and had a sweet cross to a teammate for a goal. So I assisted and scored our first 2 goals of the season. I won't talk about how playing goalie for the 1st time in my life went in the 2nd half too much except to say that I have a newfound respect for goalies. You go like 4 minutes with NOTHING happening (seriously, I was like chasing a moth around trying to catch it in goal) and all of a sudden someone is blasting a shot in your face and you're supposed to stay sharp and stop it??? Fail. But I only let up 3 goals and we won 10-5!

Had a real interesting week at work, it was like 4 of my 5 students forgot to take their sanity pills from Tuesday onward. We even had to booth a kid Friday...but I was offsite at Parchment at the time and so didn't witness it. The kid that got boothed is also my stalker student...and by stalker I mean like he is all over me, wants to be by me, and worst of all wants to touch me. Somehow he had a "hug" icon which he gave to me. I said not happening, high five instead and confiscated the icon. Somehow he had ANOTHER hug icon and gave it to me the next day. Same thing, only this time he threw a massive tantrum. Again confiscated and searched his book and removed all "hug" icons. By Thursday we had taken away his icon book because it was full of insane icons, was in horrible shape, and the velcro was on backwards so we couldn't even put our icons on it. Well during a tantrum I decided, fine, you may show me one icon 'cuz I get that you are real frustrated you can't communicate with us right now. He smiles, takes his book, and hands me a "blow on tummy" icon. WTF!?!? Really??? How the hell is that an appropriate icon for a 13-year old??? Really??? Ahhh, I still get worked up just thinking of it, you can't imagine how horrified I was to receive this icon. Needless to say a new book has been ordered for him and I've already got all of the new and appropriate icons made. My favorite part about this is when I told the teacher about it later and showed her the icon (kid is new to her class too, she did NOT make the icon) she sighed and said "I don't get it, he shouldn't have these. He's just not an endearing child." Fact.

Speaking of students, I finally ran into some of mine from last year. And I miss them dearly. One of them now wears a clip-on tie on his shirts! And my problem student is now on meds and doing real well. Like I had an awesome 5-minute conversation with him, and was stunned to realize, yes, I miss him (NOT his mom though).

Finally I somehow just got into Tegan and Sara. Which after having only listened to them for a couple of weeks, I'm mad I didn't discover them 10 years ago. So many songs I like, but here are 2 videos:

Back In Your Head. This one makes me think of the classic Peanuts every time I listen to the piano in the chorus.

Call It Off.

all might be well

2010-09-28T21:40:00.003-04:00

Good news, I now finally believe there is no chance my toe is broken. The evidence? The fact that I can now walk in short bursts without a limp at all! Stairs are still a bit tricky, but I locked up master status on my slightly modified gait like last week, so impact is minimal. And somehow (discarding my crazy wedding Saturday) I have not stubbed my big toe once. Go me.

Also of good news is that my soccer season will not Friday, but next week. Which is real great, 'cuz I'm worried about even being able to run a 5k Saturday...let alone trying to blast the sh*t out of a soccer ball on Friday.

With my suddenly improving toe, I have a rough training plan for the week. Which beats my last 9 days of sitting around trying to heal (well I had one awesome day of mountain biking, but that probably didn't help the process along). Tomorrow I'm going to mountain bike again at Fort Custer after work. Thursday I'll run 3-4 miles on a couple of pain killers (and if I can't complete 3 miles due to pain...probably won't race Saturday). Friday will be a day of rest....well at least until Homecoming starts and we go to Shake's to close it down. Then Saturday morning hopefully run a very painful and hilly race.

Why risk mountain biking tomorrow? Especially after crashing a record 7 times last Friday?? Including THREE times flipping over my handlebars! Easy, it is super addicting. Especially in the fall. Thanks to the rain, the sand has packed down and is real manageable (well except for the few spots that have washed out, including one enormous trench I had no chance at), the bugs are gone, and the leaves are starting to come down and look pretty. Plus with summer over there are a lot less people on the trails, so I can finally start riding them backwards!

Alright, just got distracted with a few phone calls, had more to ramble on about, but have stuff I need to get done.

to (maybe) break a toe

2010-09-26T18:31:00.002-04:00

"There's more there's more than blood

That beats through my heart

My hands my feet

Stuck between my tongue and my teeth

We don't know so we wait for tomorrow"

I have officially broken 1 bone in my life, my pinkie toe in 6th grade when I ran full speed into a partially open sliding door. It was a pretty obvious break, my poor pinkie toe no longer ran parallel to the rest of his friends, and instead jutted perpendicular out of my foot. Eh, more of an annoying injury than anything real painful. Put a splint on it and told no sports for like 2 weeks. I was out playing basketball with a severe limp the next day until the PE teacher got wind and shut me down.

Unofficially I probably had a hairline fracture in my heel after a very unfortunate jump off of a ledge onto concrete on St. Patrick's Day 3 years ago. That one really did hurt, I have a very high pain tolerance, but I cried, it was agony. The worst part was I was still over a mile walk from my apartment at 3am without a phone.

Enter last Monday when I was last second invited to play pick up indoor soccer. The soccer went well, I even scored a couple of goals (I am decent at soccer as long as I don't actually have the ball, good defender, but I suck at passing, dribbling, shooting or as they are more commonly called, the fundamentals) and my teams dominated. Next up, ultimate frisbee. I hadn't played since gym class sophomore year of high school. Turns out it is actually a lot of fun. Anything that allows me to run around all over and I can be good at it by hustling I love. Ultimate frisbee (UF from here on) qualifies.

Now UF is a non-contact sport. Just like soccer. I'm not aggressive per say, but if I'm racing with someone to get to the ball/frisbee, I am going all out. Learned a long time ago to never be timid at sports, so I play without care of my body. Helps I'm really good at falling. Anyways, so Monday we played these 2 non-contact games, and I was the only one to flip over someone, get punched in the face (more on this in a sec), and crash into the wall several times....not to mention the massive turf burns from sliding/falling on the ground. Controlled recklessness.

To the punched in the face thing, completely my fault. I sprinted and kind of dove/slid last second to block a frisbee pass going to a really big dude. He never saw me. Instead of catching the frisbee he caught my face, specifically my eye, with his closing hand. I felt my contact pop out and hit my cheek and fly into the air as I did a somersault on the turf. I desperately snapped my hand in front of my face trying to catch it like it was an annoying mosquito buzzing in my face. As I lay sprawled on the ground and this guy looked horrified that he might have just killed me, I open my fist and boom, my contact is there! I laugh and pop it in, pick up the frisbee, shake the guys hand and tell him not to worry about it, and we resume play. Didn't even register 'til later that my head/face/brain really hurt. Slight concussion??

I should note that I had been told by Chris that we had to play barefoot for ultimate, house rule. Didn't seem like a problem, but I did notice that a couple of people still wore shoes. Whatever, mine were already off, no biggie. So later on, post face punch, the other team is on a breakaway after an interception and I'm sprinting back....and never see the other guy also sprinting and about to cross in front of me until it's way to late. Last second I try to jump around him, but just wind up going airborne and then upside down as my leg hits his while I'm in the air. It all happened way to fast for me to know for sure when it happened, but at some point either on the collision or on my landing I jammed my right foot into the turf full force. Pain. Big toe screaming, I thought I broke it. Couldn't put weight on it, couldn't bend it. But after a minute I can put some weight on it and bend it, so resume playing even though I really can't run now. The game is almost over and while I'm borderline useless, I tough it out.

That was Monday, Tuesday hurt. Lot of walking involved with my job, nice limp going. But Wednesday it felt a little better and I became convinced my big toe was not broken, just very nicely jammed/sprained.

Today...not so sure. I went mountain biking Friday, and that turned out to be fine since my feet are attached to the pedals at just north of the arch, so my toe never actually moves/bends much. But Friday night we wound up going out to District Square* and of course I danced. Then Jenn and Matt's wedding was yesterday, and that was 6 plus hours of drinking and dancing (and a hell of a good time!). Well today I can't put weight on my toe again, and it hurts to bend. It's also swollen and hurts to push towards its neighboring toes. Figure these aren't good signs.

Ironically I'm playing on a indoor soccer team this fall and our season starts Friday. I can't imagine kicking a soccer ball today, I'm hoping this is just a nasty sprain and I can be on it Friday. If not I'll probably just take some pain killers and play anyways, that's the nice thing about broken bones, it's already broke, how can it get worse? The biggest issue is that the Western's homecoming is next weekend, and so is the Campus Classic. I have been unable to run all week and don't anticipate running at all this week as I do want my toe to eventually heel. Heck, I don't even know if I'll be able to run Saturday? Hey body, do your job, quick healing please!

*I had never been to District Square before. It's the outdoor bar/club between Monaco Bay and Wild Bull. It's got a deck, a stage, and heat lamps. Was a lot of fun, something about dancing outside makes it kind of awesome. Plus the night was pure craziness, I was DD, and I still don't understand how what happened happened. All I know is that I next time I am going anywhere to dance I am wearing a hoodie!!

Mad Men takes the crown

2010-09-20T18:33:00.000-04:00

I finished watching season 3 of Mad Men last night. One of the best season finales of any show ever, period. Between that and all of the great things I've heard about season 4 (episode 9 aired last night), I am very close to buying the first 5 episodes so I can watch them, then if I get through them fast enough I can catch the newer episodes onDemand. Unless someone knows of a free way I can catch up on Mad Men.

Really the only night I have to watch TV this year is going to be Thursday. The Office, 30 Rock, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Lost is done (*tear), Heroes got cancelled. And all my other shows are on HBO and Showtime, and I don't get them. Though thanks to my awesome friend Sarah, I think I'm going to get to watch season 4 of Dexter and season 1 of Boardwalk Empire this fall with her. Other shows that I still watch but don't have access to:

True Blood (HBO): Season 3 just ran, and I really liked the first 2 seasons. Even with my aversion to how popular vampires have become thanks to the Twilight series. Gross. If you need a vampire movie that is not full of horrible acting and is a good movie first and vampires 2nd, I still highly recommend Let The Right One In. Awesome movie. I'll catch True Blood on DVD next summer, but I've heard the 3rd season is not nearly as good as the 1st too, so I'm not dying to see it.

Breaking Bad (AMC): Greg has been telling me the 3rd season is the best, which is saying a lot. I will be into this stat when it comes out on DVD next spring/summer. I'd take Mad Men over Breaking Bad though.

And for the fun of it, if I had to rank all of the shows I currently watch, this is how it would go [and I'm leaving out Boardwalk Empire, cause while I've heard nothing but praise for it, I haven't seen it yet. Hey Sarah, when are you free to watch it again with me? :)]

1- Mad Men

2- Dexter

3- Breaking Bad

4- 30 Rock

5- The Office

6- It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

7- True Blood

And since that was kind of fun, if I was going to include a couple of my favorite shows of all-time, here are a couple of new additions:

1- The Wire

2- Lost

3- Arrested Development (so Mad Men would pick up at 4, and if we were doing all-time The Office would jump up too as it was much stronger in the earlier seasons. I'd probably put it at 5, right behind Mad Men).

running: cheaper than therapy

2010-09-19T14:54:00.005-04:00

"I don't think running is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning runners knew how tempting they looked to motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups."

- Rita Rudner

I woke up yesterday morning at 6:30am and checked the weather. 10% chance of rain at 8am. Cool, I foolishly thought, my 10k Peacock Strut race is going to be dry. Hey weathermen and women, get better at your job!! I don't even know why I bother looking at the weather, you are always wrong.

I get to the race, and while it's cloudy, there is no rain yet. And it's cool, like low 60's, but 93% humidity so it feels good. This is my first time ever running the Peacock Strut, and most of it is run on Celery Flats in Portage. Which is nice because it's pretty flat...and scenic. The race start was up Kingston Road in a neighborhood...and it was the least official race start I have ever seen. There was a white chalk line, a person on a ladder with a megaphone, and a wooden stake with a piece of paper taped to it that said "10k Start Here". Yep, classy.

The race started, no gun, just the megaphone person yelling "on your mark, get set, go!" I really didn't know what to expect for a time? I'd only upped my mileage to 6+ mile runs a few weeks ago, and had been struggling with a shin splint recently. I was shooting to go sub-45 minutes, but I really really wanted to beat my PR of 43.51 I ran last year in a 10k. I started near the front of pack, but far enough back where I could still have some people to pass. That's my secret favorite part of every race; the start, where I can pass the slower runners en masse, a moving obstacle course. At the first mile mark I had fallen into pace just behind a group of younger runners, one of whom was wearing a Portage Northern cross country uniform. Then I heard my 1st mile time, 5.43 and realized I had to slow down stat. No freaking way I was going to run a 10k at a sub-6 minute pace! I had been planning on being closer to 7 minute miles.

I backed off of the good runners and let them pull away a bit. At this point we were running up Romence and getting ready to hop onto Celery Flats. Well I hear someone catching up to me pretty fast thanks to how loudly they were breathing, it was closer to gasping than breathing. Super annoying. I soon discover that this gasping runner is DRAFTING me. And his breathing is making me insane. I slow down even more hoping he will decide to move on and get off my backside. No dice, he stays right behind me. Son of a bitch, among other expletives I am chanting internally. He stays with me onto Celery Flats and past the 2nd mile marker. Obnoxious breathing and all. I can't zone out and just go. Plus I am a spitter when I run, like every 30 seconds it seems, and I'm having to put way to much thought and energy into not spitting on my stupid drafter. Finally I had enough. For fear I'm about to commit murder, I speed up. He stays with me for about a minute then mercifully falls off. Peace out drafter. Now I can run.

Oh and that weather foreshadowing I did in my intro, well around mile 1 the clouds started to sprinkle. Right after I ditched my drafter, massive lightning bolt right overhead! And it starts raining harder. 10% my ass. By this point I'm warm and while I'm thankful to have started the race dry, the rain feels good now. Though I wore my old lucky high school track t-shirt I helped design (several of you know it, the one where the little jellyfish is getting eaten by a slightly bigger fish who is getting eaten by a slightly bigger fish, etc. Crap, and I just realized one of my students from last year would have absolutely loved this shirt, could've told him they were piranha. Opportunity missed), it is cotton and retains water. Oh well, it's not pouring (yet, it would as I finished). So yep, first race I've ever had where it rained....and had constant lightning.

My favorite moment came around mile 5, right before I shifted gears to finishing speed. Running south on Celery Flats now, before you hit Romence (again) the trail splits. There is the right path, which is pretty straight, and the left path, which is longer and leaves the tree cover and twists through a field. The Peacock Strut uses the longer path to the left. By this point in the race I can see no one in front of me, and there are a few people about 5 seconds behind me, but they are far enough back that I can't hear them. I'm running through this field in a race only I can't see anyone, it's raining, the sky is black with constant and huge lightning flashes. Super cool moment. Everything I love about being outside and storms I felt in those 100 surreal yards.

The moment passed and I attacked the end of the race. Finishing in FORTY minutes and 46 seconds, or a 6.33 mile pass. Good for 13th overall out of 215 runners. You can see the results here. Real happy with mine! Next up, the annual(ly hungover) Campus Classic in two weeks!

HORSE

2010-09-16T17:19:00.003-04:00

Playing "HORSE" with a couple of my students at the new school (from the left: TJ, Mason, me).

I of course jinxed my room talking about how great my students had been in my last post. They were not angelic yesterday. On top of that we had our 4 hour open house last night too. Looooong day. But the Open House was pretty cool. We were packed with superintendents, mayors, congressman, and just the general public. Many of whom did not even have a kid or relative in special ed. They just wanted to see what the fuss was about (and maybe what their tax dollars were funding). We definitely opened some eyes, which is always a good thing!

Today was good too. I've mentioned that two of my students are only with me half-day, and attend ParchMS in the morning in a couple of different resource rooms. Well due to some random events, I got to go to their offsite classes with them today. Which gave me some nostalgia for being offsite. Totally different environment. Like apples to oranges. But I am enjoying being at WE. As a part-timer there, I feel like outside of the people I worked directly with, not a lot of people seemed to care I was there. But now that I'm full-time everyone has been introducing themselves to me and chatting with me in passing and such. Which is funny 'cuz I've worked at WE and CAS for a year and a half now, and already knew who most of the people were. But I am enjoying getting to be "myself" around more people now that my comfort level has increased. I have a feeling a lot of people there still think of me as "quiet" and "reserved." Ha, well they will learn. :)

I'm still undecided if I want to pursue special ed long-term...but I am starting to have an idea of exactly what I think I would enjoy doing and what I'd be best for the kids at. Would be a much easier decision if it didn't involve going back to school. Lame.

just 'cuz

2010-09-13T17:05:00.002-04:00

"so i'll walk the plank and i'll jump with a smile

if i'm gonna go down i'm gonna do it with style

and you won't see me surrender

you won't hear me confess

'cuz you've left me with nothing

but i've worked with less

and i learn every room long enough

to make it to the door

and then i hear it click shut behind me

and every key works differently

i forget everytime

and forgetting defines me

that's what defines me"

Starting week 2 with my MoCI kids (moderately cognitively impaired). So far so good. My class has 5 students, and so far 2 have been downright perfect behavior-wise. Two others we had been warned about all these crazy behaviors that were big issues in the room last year; like spitting on the floor/people, playing with oneself, and melting down and becoming physically aggressive. Thankfully my teach and the other para are pretty awesome and we work very well together. And none of us will put up with any of that BS. I know the school year is way early, but we've already nipped most of the behaviors. And have been able to deescalate our potentially explosive kid pretty easily every time. No actual aggression yet. Which is nice. This just leaves my 5th student, who is very touchy-feely. And really the only reason I think he keeps trying to hug me is that he knows I hate it. He pretty much leaves the other staff alone. I gave him a timeout today actually for it (nothing crazy, a one minute timer, I just need him to understand "do NOT touch me"). Now I have no problem with affection, but only if it's appropriate. Hey kids, do NOT touch me.

We had a brief lesson on joint compression techniques last week and my teacher and the other para LOVED how squirmish I was with it. Shudder, so add joint compression to massages and chiropractors. When it comes to strangers (or students) touching me, pass.

This coming weekend I am going to run a race, the Peacock Strut in Portage.

http://portagecommunitycenter.org/PeacockStrut.aspx

I'm torn between the 10k and the 5k. I looked at the results from last year, and I think I'd finish in the top 20 overall for the 10k. But a majority of my runs this summer have been between 4 and 5 miles. I think I could run a pretty sweet (for me) 5k and go top 5 in it. Especially since I ran a 19.09 way back in April. Oye, decisions. My guess is I'll go with the 10k. But not going to decide until Wednesday or Thursday. If anyone wants to run with me, let me know! :)

college football schedules

2010-09-10T20:29:00.003-04:00

So I write regularly for a college football blog that I also link to a lot. My favorite thing to write each year is when I get to call out schools for having weak schedules and praise the schools that play real opponents. Here is this year's column, check it out:

http://thenittygriddy.blogspot.com/2010/09/scheduling-when-balls-go-mia.html

Oh and while we are here, here is a debate I had about Boise State earlier this week:

http://thenittygriddy.blogspot.com/2010/09/pointcounterpoint-should-boise-state.html

College Football is back!

2010-09-03T09:00:00.000-04:00

Hey, just wanted to remind you all that the college football season has started our our blog is back up and running. Get your early season pigskin fix at http://thenittygriddy.blogspot.com/

an abstract comfort

2010-09-01T23:28:00.001-04:00

I went for a walk

I'm on a new diet

Giving my neurons a mental fast

My thoughts, they can't find me

Except by chance, via a dream

My visions, my nightmares

Echo down the hall

Fading in the fabric to tranquil screams

Remember how I used to cry 'cuz I cared?

That last day was more can I could bear

And sometimes we lean over so far

We fall over the edge

Where it's fly or get fucked

'Cuz you're out of your nest

And gravity like friends

And that one girl you liked

Can't help you float up

Before you crash out of sight

You gotta figure it out

And just fucking go

'Cuz man, if you don't

Shits gonna get old

So I'm gonna drop off

See if I can't extend some wings

Going to soar and to shine

And maybe feel some new things

new again

2010-08-31T22:36:00.003-04:00

"i heard the sound of your bike,

as your wheels hit the gravel,

then your engine in the driveway cutting off

and i pushed through the screen door

and i stood on the porch

thinking fight, fight, fight at all costs,

but instead i let you in,

just like i've always done

and i sat you down and offered you a beer

and across the kitchen table

i fired several rounds,

but you were still sitting there

when the smoke cleared"

I forgot to share the link to my Isle Royale pics, I promise they don't do it any justice, but are kind of cool still.

My job started this Monday at the new school (true, I subbed there the week before in a couple of different rooms, but it's nice to actually be setting up my room now). I'm pretty excited for it. My class has a whopping FIVE total kids!! And after reading the behavior plans and IEPs (individual education plans) there might be one that is kind of interesting, but all should be relatively easy with their behavior. Oh and of those 5 kids, well only THREE of them are going to be full day students. Two will only come for the afternoon as they will be in regular ed for the morning. Nice.

Also cool is that this is the first class I've started in where I have not been nervous at all about it. Maybe 'cuz I worked in 4 different classes this summer, the unknown seems more normal? I'm really not sure. EVERY class I have ever worked in I went into feeling over my head, out of my element, just blown away with new behaviors. I adapted reasonably well and quickly I think, but there was always that "holy shit, what is happening" first day. But I'm really excited for next Tuesday with my new kids. I don't know any of them...yet. But it's going to be fun. I like my new teacher and the other para is actually a mom of someone I went to high school with! Crazy. Plus I think they are going to make the kids work...which I will not comment farther upon except to say, hell yes! I'm all for this. In fact I'm going to try my hardest to be awesome this year. Maybe I'm naive (well I know I am a bit, runs with the optimism) but I feel like I should be able to be good at this job and can make a difference. And F it, I am going to try.

About once a month I go on a music binge and purchase a couple CD's of an artist. Today I got 3 Ani DiFranco albums (Dilate, Not A Pretty Girl, and Out Of Range). $11 total after shipping, love Amazon.com sometimes! So at least I've got that going for me.

Oh, and I'm giving blood again Thursday...F needles.

Bonus "Oh", and I realized I have not had meat since Sunday...

the trials and awesomeness of Isle Royale

2010-08-30T23:11:00.000-04:00

Sunday (well 3 Sundays ago now) was day 1 of my epic 8 day Upper Peninsula excursion. My brother and I left Kalamazoo a little after 8am and drove straight to his house in Houghton. Well with a minor stop at Canyon Falls for a roughly 35' cliff jump into the ice cold river (as seen on youtube here...note this is not actually us, I just have some pics). Other than that nothing too major, got some pizza at the Ambassador, grabbed several drinks and went back and I kicked ass in Mario Kart on the N64. Here are some of my experiences.

The Story Of Not Going To Isle Royale

So after waking up at 6am to drive to Copper Harbor to catch our boat, we pull into the parking lot where the attendant informs us due to gale force winds the Queen IV was not able to run Sunday and could not run yet this morning. We should check back at 2pm to see if the wind has subsided and if we can go. Motherf&*$er. We chill/nap/hike at the convenient Fort Wilkins State Park and go back at 2pm. No boat today. They will try again Tuesday morning, but all of Sunday's passengers will have priority and the rest of the seats will be up for lottery. Great. We set up camp ON the beach of Lake Superior in Betes Gris, which as it turns out is kind of a stupid place to spend your afternoon with gale force winds. I totally understand and respect the force that is wind erosion now. Sand is great...but it belongs on the ground.

Tuesday morning, we wake up at 5:30am and drive to Copper Harbor...high winds, no boat again. Check back at 2pm. Balls. We nap and explore Copper Harbor, and come back at 2pm...and YES, the boat is going out! Only problem, we didn't win the lottery, we are Wednesday's boat. After some arguing I convince my brother we should rent some mountain bikes and experience the Copper Harbor Trail System. Best idea I had maybe the entire trip. They were awesome and intense. Big climbs, huge downhill sections, and stairway to heaven has to be ridden to be believed. Sadly I didn't have my mountain bike shoes and couldn't attach my feet to my peddles, so I had 2 huge crashes that probably could have been avoided (well maybe not the 2nd one, I never even saw the rock/ledge I biked off of until I was already upside down).

Splattered with some fresh blood, we made the drive south again, this time heading to the Montreal River to set up camp on Lake Superior. Beautiful spot, but I was a little ticked that my bro's estimated 10 minute hike was in fact 30 minutes. This meant we would need to wake up at 5:10am Wednesday. Ugh. And after being sunny all day...it clouded up like 20 minutes before sunset. Lame. The UP wasn't done f^&#ing with us yet though, that's right, when we got up at 5am it was POURING!! And of course stopped raining right when we got to our car. If we didn't go out on the boat at 8am I was going to murder someone.

Well storms are rolling through Copper Harbor, but the boat braved it and we were off. In super choppy water. Wet and exhausted, it was a weird 4 hours. I fell asleep a couple of times, but we went through a massive storm and I woke up when I was airborne out of my seat going over a gigantic swell (thankful yet again that I suffer no form of seasickness). But cleared all the storms about 45 minutes out of Isle Royale and were greeted by the island with a cloudless day.

The Sad Sad Story Of My Bite Valve

One of the most essential items to any backpacking experience is water; both a filter and a means to store it. When I hike I carry a travel coffee mug (duh!!), a 20oz water bottle attached to my pack (usually with a tea bag soaking in it all day), and a 2-liter reservoir to drain while on the actual hike. Of course I didn't forget any of these essential items. I however failed to account the bite valve to my reservoir...you know the thing that stops my water from pumping out all over me with every f*&%ing step. I tried unsuccessfully to buy a valve in both Copper Harbor and at the store on the island. Sold out. Apparently I'm not the only dimwit. Anyways, so how did I deal with a janked reservoir? By drinking a liter of water in the first 10 minutes to back the pressure off of it, then keeping my thumb over the tube opening. Absolutely sucked. On our 2nd day I rigged up a plastic bag with our only rubber band and that actually worked pretty well (despite being a little inconvenient to actually move on and off to drink from, but at least my hands were free and I stayed dry). Of course I somehow frickin' lost the rubber band that night, and never saw it again.

The Story Of Not Catching Lake Trout, But Eating Them Fresh Anyways

We stroll into our site at Chippewa Harbor, pretty standard. Beautiful waterfront, but the campsites have some forest in between them and the water. My bro takes a nap in his hammock, so I wander with my camera out to the dock to get some pics. A fishing boat has just pulled in, and they are pretty hardcore. They're filleting and rinsing these fresh lake trout off in the time I would need to brush my teeth. Impressive to watch. I chat them up, turns out the one guy doesn't fish very often, but had some vacation days from the Baraga State Prison where he is a guard, so why not? Pretty cool, and then he offers me some fillets if I can find a bag. Awesome! I run back to our camp, and after some quick deliberation when I don't find my brother I dump out some of his food and take his now free ziploc ('cuz why would I dump out my food??). Boom, 4 massive caught-that-day fresh fillets! Easily the best meal I've ever had backpacking!!

The Story Of The Beaver That Was Not A Moose

Despite the island supposedly teaming with moose...we never saw one. *tear. Granted due to our shortened trip all of campsites were on the shore of Lake Superior, and we missed out on 2 inland lake sites that were supposed to have moose around. But I was really hoping to see a moose. My coolest wildlife experience came (well besides the 4 snakes I encountered, I really didn't think they were on the island, luckily I don't mind snakes) on our 3rd morning at McCargoe Cove. I woke up at 7am and was kind of just laying in my sleeping bag, not quite ready to crawl out of it's warmth (nights and morning are chilly that far north), but I kept hearing this pretty punctual loud splash in the cove like every 20 seconds. I figured it was the sailboat parked out there maybe clearing water. But curiosity got the better of me and I grabbed my camera and my book and headed down to the water to read for a half an hour or so before I made coffee/breakfast and woke my brother up. I get to the dock and hear the loud splash sound, and this time see that it is not emanating from the boat, but was like 5' off the dock. A beaver is swimming all over the cove and putting on a big show of splashing his tail. And I was his 1-person audience. He played around for a cool and way too fast like 15 minutes, then left me to eat or sleep or whatever the hell beavers do at 7:30 in the morning.

The Story Of A Rock, A Freaking Walking Stick, And My Poor Leg.

On our 4th day, we have a massive 13.2 mile hike up and along the Greenstone Ridge. No water and hot on the ridge. Around the 8-mile mark we came across a cool overlook right before Mt. Ojibway. We snap some good pics and return to the trail. Only now there is a group resting on the path down. One of the girls moves her pack...but leaves her walking stick in my way. No biggie, me and my 30lb pack can just jump down off the rock over that. I'm agile if not graceful. I jump, no problem, hike on. Well within 5 minutes my shin is screaming at me. Shin splint. Massive. Left leg. If I move my ankle up or down, it hurts. I have 2.5 miles of up and down ridge followed by a huge decent down to the shore of Lake Superior in Lane Cove that is another 2.5 miles. Feats of strength. Well somehow I one-leg it to Lane Cove....which is BEAUTIFUL!!! Site is right on the lake, tons of cool looking rocks in the water, Canada in the distance. Alas my leg is not allowing me to explore. The ibuprofin and killing the rest of my whiskey don't dent my shin splint (for the record I'm calling this a shin splint...though I've never had one, it was my shin that hurt, but not to the touch, just when I had to move my ankle. Confused? Good, me too). Also in there I took my brother behind the shed and ran him over with a tractor in cards. It was a massive beatdown, making up for some lame losses earlier in the week. We finally go to bed for our last night, and when I wake up in the middle of the night to pee, my leg still kills. Our last day is only supposed to be about 7 miles back to Rock Harbor, but I'm already dreading the climb out of Lane Cove on one leg.

Well miracles do happen. I wake up in the morning...and my leg is way better. Not perfect, but not shooting pain either. In fact I feel pretty great relative to last night. I haul ass up our ascent and get a nice 10 minute break while my brother catches up (he was taking pics....right).

The Story Of Our Rock Harbor Surprise(s)

My parents were also on the island for the weekend (but stayed in a cabin). We ran into them chilling by the harbor. Turns out my Mom had fallen and broken her wrist on their 2nd day there while hiking on some rocks in the rain. But she is a nurse and knows how to properly care for and baby it. Also waiting for us was an ice cold Keystone Light (which is like my Dad's fave beer), which was absolutely delicious. Then began the 4.5 hour boat ride home, the 10 hour car ride, the getting home at 6am, the having to get up for work at 7am, the working all day in a brand new school in a new (to me) classroom, then I moved into my apartment that night. Ask Kyle, I was delirious and incapable of thought when we went to the grocery store, but I survived. The point is, experience Isle Royale, it is the coolest, most beautiful place in Michigan!!!

Isle royale: Prologue

2010-08-14T09:39:00.004-04:00

"Do you feel light shine in the darkest of nights

Or does the pain stack up from the skin to the core?

Do you find every time that you cover your eyes

To keep the tears held up, dripping down even lower?

You let the words cut down every line that's inside

And put the young flames out and make you cower and cower

If the sun breaks in instead of sparkin' the sight

I promise you I'll be here to let the light in..."

Tomorrow morning I leave for my week long excursion to Isle Royale for some awesome backpacking. And some bearable weather! No humidity, highs right around 70, low 50's at night, and so far our forecast looks pretty clear. Actually 70 is going to feel kinda damn cold after our 2 straight months of 90 and so freakin' humid. I have no idea what to wear, like I know normal me relishes cooler temps and could easily do shorts down into the 40's. But this summer has been freakishly horrible and I fear my cold tolerance is depleted. Just in case I've packed a winter hat and my Swix pants.

Regardless I'm excited, spending 6 nights backpacking on the island, and 4 of our sites will be right ON Lake Superior, which is my favorite thing ever.

There is one major catch/flaw with my trip though. I agreed to sub for someone (is it actually subbing if the person I'm working for was fired? More like I'm a space-holder for a week I think.) and work the Monday after I get back. Which might not seem so bad, so let me break it down for ya. On Sunday we will wake up super early and hike 11 miles to our boat, which departs at 2:45pm. The boat ride is 4.5 hours, so we get to Copper Harbor at 7:15pm. Copper Harbor is about an 11-hour drive to Kalamazoo. So that means I'll be able to crawl into bed maybe around 6am. Then get up at 7am to be at work at 8:30am. Then after work I will go home, pack/load up as much crap as I can handle, and move into my apartment. I'm thinking 2-3 POTS of coffee should enable my Monday. Oye.

Walk-Lights: the reason you should jaywalk

2010-08-13T17:16:00.004-04:00

This week in "Things That Piss Me Off" I present walk-lights at intersections. Now I'm all for these, especially the ones that count down for you. It gives those people who don't quite have my ability to dominate jaywalking (my favorite crime!!) a chance to cross the road. It can be helpful for drivers too when you see the time left and can back off the gas if you have no shot in Hell of making the light, or can pump a little juice through the car to safely make the light. Win-win. For instance I love the light in front of the Meijer on Gull Road. You can see it counting down from way back and I can adjust accordingly.

So what could possibly piss me off about these walk-lights? Well I'm not a huge road rage person (unless you cut me off bad enough where I have to brake), but if I'm solo I am ALWAYS singing or talking to myself...or sometimes yelling at other drivers. But today I finally had enough of the walk-lights; how come some don't turn yellow until they hit zero on the countdown (I'd say like 80% of them are like this) but a few overeager ones turn yellow around the 5 second mark??? Really??? We have cars that can parallel park themselves, stoplights that can give you a ticket for running a Red (not in Michigan...yet), but we can't f*cking standardize our walk-lights? Who gets to decide this? Like what A-hole decided the light at the intersection of Miller and Portage (mini-rant on Portage Road, so I don't think I had ever driven down it before all the way from Portage to downtown Kzoo. Because of this I had NO IDEA the speed limit dropped to a ridiculous 25mph well out from downtown. I figured it out when I flew by a cop at 40mph today, absolutely no idea how he didn't pull me over. So thankful!) should turn yellow at 5 seconds today, I was watching the timer and not the light, almost And why would a light turn yellow at 5 seconds left on the countdown, that means when it hits zero the perpendicular traffic is going. Have people crossing the road on foot been hit because of this? This makes me glad I don't believe in going to the nearest intersection to cross, that is a false sense of security. At least when I'm jaywalking I'm focused on the traffic.

the vista: in secondary colors

2010-08-11T13:00:00.005-04:00

I was given a book to read

Entitled; The Universe- Behind the Curtain.

I flipped through some pages,

Studied quantum physics 'til dawn;

Didn't find any answers.

Couldn't contract a papercut.

So give me a crayon and I'll fucking color,

I'll sketch you a lighthouse on fire.

And my 2-D panel will be more real

Than anything I ever made you feel.

Some days my emotions could scorch a wildfire

And I can't fucking sleep.

I try to put it all out.

Every time I open my mouth to try and breathe

I start to drown, how am I supposed to speak?

'Cuz some nights I am so fucking dumb,

Wish I could just find numb.

Like a junkie strung out on 21 Valium.

And yea, I can stand here and feel like shit.

But don't you dare ever even believe

That my heart can fucking quit.

Tear me apart, I'll still have a pulse.

Maybe I can't change, but I can come close.

Sand shifts fucking faster,

But I'm a bit resilient.

Like moods and chaos, the raindrop that falls on your hand

And runs a new way every time again.

Milwaukee Part 2: Tours and a Concert and a Train

2010-08-09T17:31:00.000-04:00

Hello Tuesday! Haha, and I wake up to see that Kyle crawled into bed with me at whatever time he came back into the dorm. Other than that surprise, not super exciting early, drink a lot of coffee, play some college football. Standard. We go to lunch with Greg at Bombers....which was highlighted on the TV show Food Wars verse another Milwaukee burger joint to determine who had the best burger in town...and Bombers won. So we ate with the champ! Neat thing about bomber is they have free peanuts and you just toss the shells on the floor...which is nice. Anyways, our burgers were really good....but Greg said the other place was better. So I guess you can't go wrong with either one.

Tuesday afternoon in Milwaukee...what to do Kyle? Brewery tour!! We try Sprecher's again...and the 3pm is booked but there is room at 4pm. But we have a Something Corporate concert to hit up and we have to get dinner and get there still...so too late. Sad. So we decide to do LakeFront Brewery (my 2nd time) but it's an awesome tour. The guide will be drinking and is most likely already drunk when the tour starts. Very funny tour. Oh and you get to drink during the tour too and get a free pint glass...and coupons for a free pint that can be used at various local bars. Nice. Megan shows up last second and grabs the 2nd to last spot on tour, she is the wildcard, my day just got 10x crazier. For the tour you get 4 tokens to refill your half-pint cup 4 times with delicious non-pasteurized beer. Somehow Kyle pulls off getting his cup filled a couple of times without giving up a token. I try in vain to replicate this....always had my token taken. But Kyle is driving, so when we get done Kyle gives me another token...and Megan gives me a token...and her free pint coupon which must be used by 6pm day of tour. Guess where we went next! Yep, bar. I get 2 free pints of LakeFront brew...and somehow we start talking about Mad Men and old fashions and I lament that I have never had one. With a twinkle in her eye, Megan asks the bartender if his old fashions are any good. He assures us that yes, he is an expert and makes the best old fashion in Milwaukee. So Megan gets us a round of old fashions...and yes, they are incredible and amazing! By now Greg is calling us and wondering where the hell we are and what we want to do for dinner. Order pizza! Done, now get back to the apartment! Right, except of course when I hang up and exclaim that I can't believe how good that old fashion was Megan laughs and asks if I want another one. Um, absolutely! So we stay for one more drink....then finally return to the dorm.

Quick pizza stop with a beer then we are off to The Rave for Something Corporate! I feel great. Even that inside it is probably close to 100 degrees, well I've been sucking down fluids all day, pretty hydrated. ;) We each get like a ridiculous $7 drink and find a spot with a good sight line of the stage. Then Something Corporate comes out and dominates. Tons of energy, despite having been on hiatus for awhile and only the 2nd stop of their reunion tour they are not rusty. They even played my favorite song, Watch The Sky!!!! Still sad Greg and I couldn't figure out how to take video on my new camera right away and I missed the first verse of the song. Which is extra sad 'cuz turns out my camera kicks ass and video and the quality and sound are amazing (for a camera). Want to see for yourself, check out this video of Konstantine I put up on youtube! My only complaint with the concert is that they didn't play Forget December, which they had played the night before.

So concert ends, and we are all SOAKED with sweat. 100 degrees and rocking out for a couple of hours will do that. Should probably stop at bar on way home to grab a drink. Only stipulation is that it has to be a quick stop since we were going to meet up with Kelley at the apartment and go out from there. We go to Caffrey's...where the special is $2 pints of Leinenkugel and $3 jager bombs. Two of each please! I do not like Leinenkugel (with 2 exceptions, I liked the amber classic I had at Miller, and maybe their stout?), so I decide to go with the original lager since I'd never had it. Mistake. Not good, stomach didn't like it. But it was still better than my other Leinenkugel options (of course common sense after the fact says well just don't get a 2nd drink...or just order a beer you like!). Anyways, I get my 2nd pint...and almost simultaneously Greg says, oh no, we've been here like 40 minutes, we have to go get Kelley. Crap. Alright, feats of strength, I slam my pint and we roll. By the time we get to the apartment I feel terrible, 6 days of vacation had caught up with me. I was exhausted and my stomach felt like I'd just had a pint of boric acid. Pain. Kyle and I wound up waiting outside for Megan to show up and for Greg and Kelley to join us. I laid on the bench and just wanted to sleep. No dice, bar time.

We go to Miller Time, and I have hit wall. I pound 4 glasses of water in between my strenuous efforts of trying not to put my head on the table and pass out. Somehow at the end I pull another feat of strength and attempt to rally when the server is at our table. I pick my head up, say I'll have a double gin and tonic please, and put my head back down. Horrible decision, even though it looks just like my waters, it is the grossest thing I have ever tasted. I drink it down a bit, and add ALL of my accumulated ice to it to try and kill it. Actually helps a little, but still, pain. Finally finish drink and Greg and I mercifully decide to go back to apartment (Kelley wound up not coming 'cuz she didn't feel well, probably what I should have done) while Kyle and Megan wind up visiting the sinkhole (so sad I didn't get to see this!).

Greg and I get back...and instead of going to bed, why not play another game of college football? Oh yes! Despite everything I have endured today I manage to stay competitive...but again turnovers and specifically fumbles kill me. I averaged like 4 fumbles a game this week, the PS3 hates me!! Then finally sweet sweet bedtime. Haha, and apparently Kyle was going to crawl into bed with me again, but when he finally got home I was "sprawled out like a flying squirrel" on the bed and their was no room for him.

By Wednesday morning we were exhausted from our vacation and thankful to be taking the Amtrak all the way back to Kalamazoo. Not going to lie, I slept for most of it. We did have a 90 minute layover in Chicago and were able to meet up with our old neighbor Christy at Starbucks. And I was able to get my favorite drink in the world, ice chai tea latte! So good. We stayed perhaps a little too long and got back to Millenium Station with only minutes to spare...but this is a train station, no biggie right? Wrong. For anyone who has ever had to fly with me...well sh*t just happens to me when I travel. ALWAYS. For a listing of all my flight mishaps see this post and this one. Oye, but I've never had a problem for the train before. So we're approaching our gate, I can see our train outside and Kyle is flying, like almost a run with those freakishly long legs. I'm like 5' behind him. He flashes his ticket for like half a second then flies out to the train. I try to do the same and get pulled aside for a random search. F my luck. It was kind of neat though, they took some special paper, wiped it all over my bag and then inserted it into this machine thing for analysis. No idea what exactly they were looking for...but thank God my bag hadn't been around it apparently. Clear. Train time! And just in time too, shortest I've ever gotten onto a train and it departed. A solid nap later and my vacation was over....thank God! Recovery.

Milwaukee Part 1: Trivia and Stairwells...and cheese

2010-08-09T01:45:00.000-04:00

Back in Kalamazoo for a hot 2 hours after camping...it was time to leave for Milwaukee. Yes, last Sunday Kyle and I spent almost 10 hours in the car getting from the Au Sable River to Milwaukee with Greg and Kelley. For me the 2nd half went fast as I was able to sleep through most of the traffic/construction/accident filled Kzoo to Milwaukee leg. With a pit stop at Tim and Tom's Cheese Shop (amazing, screw Mars Cheese Castle, go mom and pop!) we were good to go.

Sunday night was very low-key; grabbed some hot dogs for dinner then played video games (the start of the worst stretch of college football I have ever had...like 1-6 for the week. Awful awful awful). Monday also started out pretty tame as Greg and Kelley went to work...leaving Kyle and I to our own devices. Well why not a little jog up the lake shore? I've been to Milwaukee numerous times now to visit...and this is the first healthy thing I have ever done in the city I believe. Kyle somewhat surprised me by actually wanting to run with me...and lucky for him I was not feeling self-destructive and did not require a ruthless pace. Still we made decent time...aided by the fact it is almost all dooooownhill to Lake Michigan. By the time I left Kyle and started flying to close out...it was all uuuuuuuphill. Pain. But good pain. I didn't puke.

Kyle and I had decided we both really wanted to tour Sprecher Brewing Company, so after our run and lunch with Greg we tried to set up a tour....but they were booked for the day. *Tear. So we settled on touring Miller Brewery since it was free. I'm kind of like a Brewery Tour connoisseur. I've done Miller, LakeFront Brewery, Guinness StoreHouse (Dublin baby!), Plzensky Prazdroj (Pilsen Brewery in Plzen, Czech Republic), and the Jameson Distillery (yum, distillery in Dublin). Favorite? LakeFront. Not sure how much Guinness counts either as most of it is self-guided and I feel like it was the most expensive of the above (before you even consider how much the Euro has its way with the US dollar). But it was still cool 'cuz I was only 19 at the time. The Pilsen tour was pretty cool too, it even had snacks! Like hops and barley you could actually munch on while on the tour. One of them was gross and one of them was tasty...but I don't remember which was which? But I was hungry at the time and so thankful for it. Anyways Miller...was pretty boring. And hot. It was like 93 in Milwaukee....not much A/C on the tour. But we got 3 free half pints out of it (I went Leinenkugel Amber Classic, Miller Lite, Miller High Life). So gold. When we finished and called Greg about dinner and the plan for the night (hello trivia) and the all important question, Me: Should we pick up any beer? Greg: Ummm, no, there isn't anything convenient on your way back and we have some. Call ends. I relay to Kyle that we "don't need" beer. Kyle: I'm pretty sure I saw a store like a block up from the parking garage that sold beer. Me: YES!!!

So we totally hit up this store on the way back and get some Milwaukee's Best (BEAST) Ice and Old Style. Let the night begin. So we drink a bit, then head out to dinner for some awesome Mexican food at Conejito's Place (means little rabbit in spanish, thank you Nichole!!) complete with margaritas and Modelo. Also from my last 3-part Milwaukee blog post referenced Kyle and "his lady friend" (you can check that here)...well I finally met her (well again...more soberish this time) and her name is Megan and she came to dinner and trivia and hung out with us and she is kind of awesome!

So we go to trivia at a bar, Milwaukee Ale House, and with some debate (I did not support) we had the team name "JJ Hardy's Jock Strap." Well I'm going to blame so hard categories for us not doing well; soccer, golf, women's rights (I kid I kid). Also I am awesome at geography sober...but apparently had too much to come up with the answer to "what is the large river that flows through the capital of India and is highly polluted?" I wanted to light myself on fire for not being able to come up with the name the F*CKING GANGES!!!!!!!!!! But I was able to identify Shania Twain's cleavage instantly and still think there is no way that was Jessica Simpson's boobs! Also I was overruled by my teammates....but clearly Seattle is f*cking way more north than Minneapolis!!! Minneapolis is freakin' SOUTHERN Minnesota, Seattle TOUCHES f&cking Canada. If they had listened to me we only would have missed 1st place by like 14 points...as it turns out we were much better at drinking at the bar than doing the bar trivia...and we didn't take last!

So trivia ends, and we make group decision to go back to Greg and Kelley's apartment and continue drinking there and play Wii. So we drink, Kyle and I bong some Miller Lite's through Greg's really cool bong apparatuses. Then Greg trumps our puny 12oz cans and does a pint of Old Style. Nice. So I do a lot of trash talking when I drink....and as it turns out, after Jake, Megan is the 2nd to last person I should be allowed to drink with. Someway or other we decide we will race from the 3rd floor (I should note here Kelley is a hall director at Marquette, and so her legit awesome apartment is on the 3rd floor of the dorm) to the 8th floor and back via the stairwell. Well Megan is kind of competitive and athletic and a cheater. We are neck-and-neck to the first turn in the stairwell and she elbows me head-first into the wall. So now I'm behind her and there is no way to pass in a winding staircase without killing her. Megan wins because I am competitive, but not ruthless (and if I need excuses I can point to the 5 miles I ran earlier....or the massive amounts more of alcohol I drank, etc). Greg makes some awesome cheese dip (from Tim and Tom's!!!!!), we all drink more, and the cheese dip is gone quick. So Greg fills it with this amazing green chili jalapeño salsa. We down that...and Megan, who has not been scarfing food, agrees to my proposed rematch. On separate stairwells (thank you dorm!). Only we will go to floor 16 and back to 3. We will start in the middle of the hall, winner takes all (pride!). Should note my stairwell had been freshly painted and reeked of fumes. Also, remember a dormitory. So I haul ass go up hitting only 2 stairs a flight, gasping (remember, coming off my camping trip where all we did was drink...and I'd just eaten like a pound of chips and cheese dip and jalapeños) and trying not to die for a majority of it. Hit floor 16, smiling, 'cuz I know there is no way a girl beat me, then fly down the stairs, right foot hits 3 steps down and I launch the rest, grabbing the handrail to pull me into turn and repeat. Really I was like olympian pace. Finally hit the 3rd floor, rushed out into hallway......and freakin' knocked over the security guard. He was kind of fat, I couldn't juke him and put him right into the wall. I apologized, but didn't want to stop. After a moment of being scared he laughed and said it was cool, he heard all about it already. Hmmmmmm. So I fly back to Kelley's and talk to her. Tell her what happened. And instantly I can tell she is BSing me. She calls Megan out, who admits she only went to the 8th floor 'cuz Kelley told her too. F&cking LAME. Still have not let Megan live this down. We calm down, keep drinking, play bowling and archery on the Wii. Normally I'm good at bowling on this (I used to play a lot at Croyden with my students) but can not buy a pin bounce and get a redic amount of nines. Then suck at archery, like beyond suck. Too much coffee...right. But eventually the night dies down, Megan and Kyle go outside for what seems like forever (with Greg and I spying from the windows) and I write some inappropriate things on FB then pass out. Goodbye Monday!

The Spider and the Ghost of the Fly

2010-08-08T18:01:00.002-04:00

Once I loved a spider

When I was born a fly,

A velvet-footed spider

With a gown of rainbow-dye.

She ate my wings and gloated.

She bound me with a hair.

She drove me to her parlor

Above her winding stair.

To educate young spiders

She took me all apart.

My ghost came back to haunt her.

I saw her eat my heart.

by Vachel Lindsay

So I'm trying to blog about my trip to Milwaukee this past week, but am struggling a bit trying to be concise and interesting with it. Hopefully I'll be able to finish it tonight. In the meantime thought I'd share this random poem I just found and love. Where did I find it? Yep, the Poetry App on my iPod Touch! :) I am a huuuge dork. I was actually about to delete the App since it had never given me a poem I liked...but I thought, well why not one more random spin. And boom, a poem cool enough to remind me that my poetry should not be shared. Enjoy!

Au Sable River: camping on the cooke dam pond

2010-08-05T18:46:00.003-04:00

"Feats of strength!"

"We have a 'no survivor' policy"

"Bella! STOP eating [that]!"

Annual camping trip with my friends was last weekend. This year we only had 4: me, Amy, Kyle, and Kyle's puppy Bella. Our three options were Sleeping Bear Dunes, Nordhouse Dunes (love this place!), or a late entrant, the Au Sable River. Well all of the reservable sites at Sleeping Bear were booked...and that seemed like a long ways to travel to get screwed on the "first come, first serve" policy. Pass. Nordhouse Dunes are awesome, and while technically it IS a backpacking trip (2 mile hike from car, no bathrooms, etc), it is beautiful and pretty easy. But we finally settled on something a little less intense than backpacking; a boat-in only site on the Au Sable River. Conveniently located on the Cooke Dam Pond portion of the river, the same spot as my family's cabin. This gave us a base of operations to deploy from and granted us access to a fridge, get gas for the boat, and use a shower (I did NOT shower, refused, river washing was fine). Oh and it also provided us with a boat to explore the river with. Not a bad deal. Here are some pics with stories below from the weekend. Also if you want to see the rest of the album, you can view it here.

Meet Kyle's 3-month old puppy Bella. This pup eats everything outside. Sticks, grass, weeds, toads, etc. Then she spends her evenings puking all over...including on my pot handle and on my feet. Hey Bella, quit eating all of that shit!! Kyle is pretty soft on her. I'm excited Bella will be my roomie in a couple of weeks...but there is going to be some tough love doled out all over her ("Get the F off of the couch!").

Kyle and Amy playing the card/drinking game 7 and a half. Fun to play....but game does not like me. I got owned. We also played a lot of Push and Oh Heck. Oh and Golf, including a game to be continued where I am in the midst of a world-record low score. This game will be completed!

Kyle doing his traditional pose on top of the sand dune and Amy just sitting and enjoying the view. Our campsite is right on the shoreline by Kyle's right elbow. Love the Au Sable River! And the sand dunes! Kyle and I climbed up them a ridiculous amount....Amy was content to see the top once then just chill on the beach with Bella. Kyle and I also drank a LOT of coffee, Amy none. Hmmmm.....

Kyle went on a mission to get firewood. It was epic. He'd stroll down to the river, carry up as much as he possibly could, THROW IT ALL ON the fire, sit down, and repeat 5 minutes later. It was exhausting to watch. Finally I spoke up and mentioned that if he only threw on a couple of pieces when he returned...we could spend the next 30 minutes enjoying the fire and it would still stay pretty big before we needed more wood. Click.

My persuasion skills are unparalleled. I'm pretty sure that if Kyle and Amy had known exactly what I would put them through on the bikes...they either never would have came...or made me do a couple of things very differently. Example the half-mile we walked our bikes through the thick forest with no trace of a path when on a semi-whim I sought a shortcut. But it was a good way to see the area around my cabin and the hill they are at the bottom of here running down to the stream is very fun to ride down. In fact, they handled it so well I will now be pushing them to join me at Fort Custer for a mountain biking experience that I promise will never leave the trail!

Good idea: bringing can of beans to cook in the campfire. Bad idea: Not bringing a can opener and not understanding how the F the "can opener" on a pocketknife is supposed to work. A massive amount of work and one cut finger later and I managed to shred the lid into 4 pieces that could be peeled back after cooking. Thankfully we were too hungry to care about all the bonus ashes adding bonus nutrients to the can. The beans were delicious. And did you know in India they uses ashes mixed with a little water as toothpaste? ADA approved beans! :)

There are several great pics of me jumping over trees/shrubs/sand cliffs or climbing trees. Plus of course successful 360's and horribly failed 720's. Body took a beating! Wish I was not afraid of heights...couple of cool looking jumps I was not willing to take. I freak out with more than like 12' of air.

Rained all day Saturday, so we packed the boat up early and decided to crash one night at my cabin. That point in front of us runs straight up to site 38c...which was a pretty nice site. Actually nicer than the one I have camped on before "next" (like around the next bay is the "closest" site)...but was a little less convenient to get to. And you can't see it in this photo...but Kyle is NOT wearing his sandals. They are gone. The previous night we had pushed off to head to the sand dune to play on it around midnight (I AM persuasive!) and Kyle thought he had the whole process of launching the boat out and then jumping in when the water hit his knees mastered. Well Kyle was stupidly clothed and was still wearing his sandals when he did this at midnight (maybe a drink or 2 involved....maybe) and one of them stuck in the mud when he hopped in the boat. No biggie, he thought, I'll just jump back in the river and grab it since it doesn't get deep fast here. So Kyle jumps overboard...and SPLASH...is gone! A second or so later and he pops up from beneath the surface, grabs the boat and exclaims "IT IS DEEP!" Great times...Kyle also lost his other sandal when jumping back in and neither were to ever be seen again. RIP flippie floppies.

Also being a boat-in site and on a river, the boat and more importantly the motor were essential to our getting anywhere and doing anything. But the motor had just gone to the shop for service (It wasn't starting again after it had just been on and wouldn't go above a crawl if you did manage to get it started while it was still warm. Plus if you ran it long enough the top gear would stop working and you would have to crawl anyways. This already is not a fast boat, top gear is essential). Well the motor worked fine our first night and we made it to our campsite. Only we took the boat to site 39 first...when we are site 38. Well I thought, 39 can't be that far away, we'll keep the boat parked a sec, I'll hike around the next bend and see if I can see it (at this point I wasn't positive in which direction the site numbers went up or down). Saw what maybe been a site, it was a bay away and I was going to to continue bare foot to it. But at least we had a destination for the boat now....only when we hop in and shove off....well motor was not having it and would not start. Awesome. A lot of one-paddle paddling later (I had briefly considered grabbing oars back at the cabin, but thought that since the motor has just come back from the shop it would at least work for one night) and we mercifully reached our site, me hot and tired. For the most part the rest of the weekend it would start working again fine...but we did a LOT of traveling at less that full speed. Damn you motor!

Cooke Dam! Side story from when I was staying at my cabin like a long long time ago with Chris, Dave, and Ryan. We decided to tow the canoe here and portage it down the hill (my cabin is above this dam) to fish. We couldn't all fit in the canoe without it sinking (which of course we discovered in a wet and panic-laced moment as crayfish are pretty scary looking and were all over the bottom) so we had to take up spots. I wound up on the center cement aisle of the Dam (water was deeper that day) and it never clicked when I had to jump out of the canoe to grab onto the ledge that I would also have to DROP back into the canoe to return to shore. Well we fished for an hour...caught nothing...and decided to head back. I slowly lower myself off the edge to get back into the canoe and only as I'm dangling there do I finally register I cannot reach the canoe. Ryan is the other canoeist and is laughing and telling me I only have like less than a foot, just drop. No idea how this didn't end in disaster, but I dropped onto the canoe, kept my balance, and we did not tip.

View of the Au Sable and a sand dune across the way from our campsite! Beautiful.

Things that were awesome about our weekend: Friends, dog, campsite, sand dunes, food, drinks, cards, biking, fireworks (Kyle would disagree), views, no other people around, swimming, not showering, and adventures. Things that are now On Notice: boat motor, f&cking can opener, Bella's puking. Great trip!!

lake of the ozarks, pass

2010-07-26T20:37:00.001-04:00

I tend to avoid certain TV channels like Discovery, History, Animal Planet, etc. Not because I don't enjoy their programming (I do!), but because some of the animal/sea life shows freak the shit out of me. Do I really need to know that in Madagascar there exists a BLIND ant species that could hunt me out, cover me in seconds, and kill me in minutes??? God No! The only creature(s) that bother me more than ants? Things that can eat me in the water; sharks, gators/crocs, sea snakes (NOT land snakes), and maybe piranha. So for the most part as long as I'm not in the ocean or in Florida, I am fine with fresh water lakes/rivers.

Not anymore, Damn you Monsterquest! From the blog title, you can already guess...but now there is no way I will ever be in Lake of the Ozarks (Missouri) over my knees. The show was studying Lake of the Ozarks to see if they could find evidence of inhabiting piranha...and if they could actually survive a winter in the lake (technically a giant 54,000 acre reservoir).

Guess what, the f*cking resilient piranha can!!! The red-bellied piranha doesn't start losing function and begin to die until a 50 degree water temp. The Monsterquest folk found that near several of the underwater springs on the Ozark the water temp remained a balmy 57 degrees. Warm enough for schools of piranha to thrive. And the whole reason they were at the Ozarks in the first place is that a fisherman caught a large piranha. The Ozarks is huge...plenty of room for piranha to hide. And while Monsterquest never actually caught a pirahana...they left assured the piranha very likely resided in the Ozarks...but for now were sparse. Which could lead to a major nightmare in a few years if the school can take root and start feasting. F piranha, give me those killer ants, be much cheaper to surround my house with ant poison than to buy enough salt to raise the salt-level of a lake to that of Dead Sea to murder those stupid fish.

Also, Shark Week is next week, I love Shark Week!! Though it might be another week or two after before I can even begin thinking about stepping foot in my lake again...

good times

2010-07-21T19:59:00.003-04:00

So you can completely skip my last post. The Debbie Downer, woe is me pity-party is over and was pointless. Yep, I GOT the job!! :)

a hope and a prayer...and a decision?

2010-07-20T22:45:00.000-04:00

I interviewed for a full-time position (again) last Friday for the new school that opens up next month. Going into it I was pretty calm, figured I had pretty high odds for it, and the only reason I didn't get my last position was because it was a budget cut. Plus if I didn't get it, it wouldn't be the end of the world.

That was fine until after the interview, but the more I've thought about it, the more I'm like, f*ck, I want this. And now that I know who else interviewed...well that is depressing to think about. I'm already lost with my life...to not get this would hurt. I should find out by the end of the week, definitely one of those paradoxes where I need this week to be over...but at the same time and just as strong I am thinking Wednesday can last forever. I'm decisive about everything (not always externally, but believe me, when I say I don't know, or I don't care. Well I do know and I do care, but I care about you more)...except for the most important question, what (the f^ck) should I do with my life?

Adding to my anxiety (and I am NOT an anxious person, this feeling is foreign to me, and quite frankly is terrible) is how many people have come up to me at work and been like "so I was talking to so-and-so about you and just bragging/gushing about you. I hope you get that job." I'm flattered people would care enough and feel that way about me to actually hype me up to the bosses, but man that is a lot of pressure. If I've had all these people hyping me and I don't get the job, doesn't that make my failure even more grand? People keep asking me if I've heard if I got it yet. NO! And God, please stop asking me, I can't handle telling 100 people yet again that I did not get a job. Especially when I work with them. Um, so pray for me maybe please.

The cool thing about my job is I have gotten to work with a new age group this week. A class with six to eight year olds. Before this I had never worked with any age below middle school (so like 12-years old). And, well, they rock! Apparently I love kids. They are a handful (literally, several of them you have to hold their hands when you go places or they will run off...as I learned), but they are fun and sweet. Even the kid who can dislocate his shoulders at will and be a dead-weight while walking back from the pool. Learned a whole new hold to "deal" with him. Too bad I think tomorrow is my last day with them, I feel like this whole awesome age group has been kept hidden from me, and only now do I understand what I've been missing.

Inception: a review

2010-07-18T16:55:00.004-04:00

Inception is two and a half hours of action and cerebral taxation (I mean that as a compliment, and you should be safe to read on, I think I kept this spoiler free). The stellar cast of Leo, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Paige and a host of others are charged with the job of infiltrating the mind of Robert Fischer (Cillian Murphy) who has just inherited his Dad's very large energy company. The mission; plant an idea. To do this Cobb (Leo) will lead his team into Fisher's mind during a dream, and to get deep enough to plant an idea, they will have to lead him to a dream within a dream within a dream. Yeah, it is that crazy and F'ed up. The action unfolds across these three dream layers simultaneously. Not a movie to see tired or hungover. I already know I need to see it again.

Inception is very good...but not great. I feel it missed some opportunities. A big letdown (for me at least) was how trivial Cobb's deceased wife, Mal, turned out to be in haunting his subconscious. This is the closest thing to a "love story" the movie presents, and it did nothing for me. How can you feel for a projection of Cobb's dead wife in his own subconscious? Not only that, her actions seemed to get less crazy as the movie went along? If she is supposed to represent Cobb's guilt, I want it to come to some kind of satisfying climax, not flutter out so weakly. Such a large part of the movie is spent building Mal up and how going three-dreams deep is going to be so unstable with her...then Mal is only present for a few weak moments.

My other big problem is with the dreams themselves. As a rule, dreams are F'ed up. In Inception, the environments are pretty standard. Especially as the film moved into deeper dreams and the subconscious, I should have witnessed some messed up things. I wish I could combine Shutter Island's atmosphere (complained about that Leo movie here) and freakiness with Inception's acting, action sequences, and pacing. The final encounter with Mal at the very least should have scared the shit out of me, instead Inception blew it off.

Despite flaws, Inception is worth seeing on the big screen for the action sequences alone. In a lot of ways it reminds me of the first Matrix (to me, the sequels never happened); complex plot that jumped around realities/dreams, tons of cool action and effects, and a total package that will need to be seen several times to be fully appreciated. I'm already looking forward to watching Inception again when it comes out on DVD (and have some desire to watch the Matrix again, it has been years!) to pick up on more of the story and see what clues are there in the beginning that I missed. For now I'd say the first Matrix was a tighter, smoother flowing story (but I might be biased since I used to watch this movie like once a month) and while it could get confusing, always seemed to have a point. Inception is a little wilder, but the acting is leaps and bounds above the Matrix.

the rash...dude...it's everywhere

2010-07-15T19:49:00.004-04:00

"Are you out of your mind?

You dug yourself into a liar's hole

You made a little spark to live inside

It's now a fucking fire out of control

And when the morning comes you'll act surprised

And when the word gets out it will get you old

And every day you'll try to live your life

And every little scandal will unfold

How did I let her inside?

We're dripping of sweat, I'm feeling alright

Her lips were the last thing touched tonight

Your best friend is not your girlfriend

It hurts"

I love writing. For better or worse I enjoy blogging too. I'm not a liar, but I am not always honest. I hide feelings, a lot. Not when I write. What kills me is how susceptible I am to writer's block. It's like being the kid in class, when whose lab partner sneezes during allergy season contracts strep the next day (HATE strep too, I get it like every 18 months at least).

If you see my post numbers by the month on my page, you'll see I'll have several months in a row of double digit posts, then all of a sudden my monthly output will look this: 7, 3, 1, 4, etc. Not by design. It's like I forget how to F&cking write.

The ideas are still there, but I can never get past the intro paragraph. Pet peeve of mine, I hate weak first paragraphs (and now you can all go back and read my posts and think, really?? Yes, hypocrite). And I'm not talking about quotes or song lyrics I throw up there sometimes, that's usually just either something I got stuck in my head or occasionally relates to my day. The intro is my words, so many of my blog ideas have died 'cuz they could never lift off from that first f*cking inch of screen. I have tons of partial posts stuck in my "draft" folder that will never see the light of day. And some of them probably would have been decent, they just popped into my head at the wrong time.

My writing is (believe it or not) organic. I can't be told what to write, and I can't make myself write just because. An idea has to pop into my head and I have to make it to my keyboard (or notebook) before it shrivels up and dies like a slug I poured salt on. For instance, every paper I had to write in college. Thank God most of my papers were at most 5-pages in length, 'cuz I was incapable of even starting these until the night before. Some of it was deliberate procrastination, but sometimes I'd try to get my work done (especially if I had some overlapping tests looming)...and just could not write. The most painful was a 10 page FICTION story for my creative writing class that I started at 11pm and was due at 9:30am the next day (I started like 20 different stories over several weeks and could never get more than 2 paragraphs in before it fizzled. I tried and I couldn't do it, writer's block is a bitch). I also had to go to Kinko's to make copies of it for everyone in my class. The most surreal and coffee-overdosed 5am blizzard I have ever driven through to get to the only open copy place on Westnedge from the dorms. It was me and the plows on the road. So yea, to me, words are fickle, and I'll use 'em when I got 'em.

Why am I writing about writer's block? Because I have a raging breakout of it all over, and it itches. To quote a friend from a few months back who had a nasty bout with poison oak, "Dude, it's on my balls!" No idea how long it will last, I have plenty of things I could talk, vent, dream about with you. Just incapable of laying it out in text form for now. Be patient, I am.

2 books, 2 movies

2010-07-11T11:16:00.004-04:00

"This man makes a pseudonym
And crawls behind it like a worm.

This woman on the telephone
Says she is a man, not a woman.

The mask increases, eats the worm,
Stripes for mouth and eyes and nose,

The voice of the woman hollows---
More and more like a dead one,

Worms in the glottal stops.
She hates

The thought of a baby---
Stealer of cells, stealer of beauty---

She would rather be dead than fat,
Dead and perfect, like Nefertit,

Hearing the fierce mask magnify
The silver limbo of each eye

Where the child can never swim,
Where there is only him and him."

Some thoughts on a few books and movies I've experienced:

Tinkers by Paul Harding- Maybe I just caught this book at the wrong time, but it took me a long time to get into this Pulitzer Prize winner. The writing is excellent, the characters are deep...but nothing really happens? It's a short read at 190 pages, but it took me a long time to pull off. The end was great...and sad. Tinkers is about an old man, George, who is on his death bed and the story warps around his hallucinatory present and remembering his past and his relationship with his Dad, Howard who was an epileptic. Totally worth just reading just for the superb language, there is even a brief section (almost an aside) about how to build a bird's nest that is hilarious.

Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath (who also wrote the poem above)- Normally I don't talk about books I've only half-finished. But I'm making an exception because I have wanted to read this for years but have put it off because I've had such high expectations for it. Well so far they've been surpassed, I love this book. In case you don't know, Bell Jar is a semi-autobiographical novel (though "mostly" might be more appropriate than "semi) about the late Plath who took her own life at the age of 30. The book starts with the main character's, Esther, mental decline while working a summer internship in New York City. She struggles to fit in with the other interns. Esther's shrinking from the world and growing thoughts of suicide is horrible, sad, and touching. If you've ever had a bad day or been depressed you will connect with this book. Don't worry, the story is not all bleak doom, there is a lot of humor in Plath's writing too. Too bad she died so young and this was her only novel, she was talented.

Fantastic Mr. Fox- Wes Anderson strikes again! If you liked Life Aquatic, Rushmore, or The Royal Tenenbaums (3 of my favorites) then this is more gold for you.

The Crazies- This is a remake of an old George Romero film. I have not seen the original, so I can't compare, but the new movie is fantastic! I feel like I only find 1 horror movie a year that is both well done AND scary. For instance I liked Zombieland but it wasn't scary. And Paranormal Activity scared the shit out of me, but it really wasn't a good movie. The Crazies is all about atmosphere, and there is a ton of it. From the opening baseball game scene to 10 minutes later the scene with the tractor running in the barn in the middle of the night had me curled up in a ball. If you need a good scare, you can do much much worse than The Crazies. Oh, and the ending is great!

Recovery

2010-06-29T20:01:00.003-04:00

"Baby, please come back, it wasn't you, Baby, it was me

Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems

Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano

All I know is I love you too much to walk away though

Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk

Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk?

Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball

Next time I'm pissed, I'll aim my fist at the drywall

Next time? There won't be no next time

I apologize, even though I know it's lies

I'm tired of the games, I just want her back. I know I'm a liar

If she ever tries to fuckin' leave again,

I'ma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire

(I'm just gonna)

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn

Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts

Just gonna stand there and hear me cry

Well that's alright because I love the way you lie

I love the way you lie

I love the way you lie"

My last 4 days have been eventful, hectic, and unpredictable. I have 4 or 5 posts I could make about unrelated events. But I don't feel like talking about any of it (and at least 2 of them I couldn't blog about anyways). I did something that I feel like I should regret, but I don't, at all.

Then after thinking semi-listlessly the past couple of weeks that my summer job is kind of boring (which is not necessarily a bad thing), I'm going to be put on a partial-reassignment tomorrow, which I'm kind of freaked out about. Yes, I'm going be assigned to a student, only the behavior is bad enough instead of being a one-on-one, I'm going to be working with another Para to be a two-on-one. I feel like I've been flopping around in the shallow end the past couple of weeks (and I love the kids in my class, but think I [arrogantly? naively?] would be of more service in a higher functioning class) and instead of moving out deeper, I'm getting airlifted 20 miles offshore and told to swim for it. It's true I know almost nothing about my new assignment (info meeting in the morning), but I have a bad feeling I'm about to be put in over my head. I had a lot of coffee tonight, I hope I can sleep.

I had a very deep conversation with a friend a little while ago and they told me that I was too nice, and they didn't mean it as a compliment. I agree, I am people-pleasing and avoid conflict if I can help it (a few of you are going to read this and think, shut the Front door!). But I wish I had been more assertive about a couple of things. Perhaps if I'd been able to say, F*ck off, this is what I want, then my life would be a little less confusing right now. Or perhaps not? Even I don't understand how I fluctuate between brash and shy so easily (several of you are nodding now).

Hmmm, this isn't at all what I planned on writing, time to change direction. I LOVE the new Eminem CD; Recovery. Better than Encore, Relapse, and Eminem Show. Lyrically, maybe best album ever? Not really a weak track on the album, but these are the songs I love: No Love (feat Lil' Wayne), 25 To Life, Cinderella Man, Almost Famous, Going Through Changes, You're Never Over, and the Untitled track. Yes I know that is a redic amount of songs to love, but this CD runs THAT deep. But my favorite track off the album is Love The Way You Lie featuring Rihanna. Check out this live performance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tf3l4KrFvUk&feature=related

a wedding weekend part 3: the after party and the after after party

2010-06-26T11:38:00.000-04:00

"Everyone was funny and everyone was pretty

And everyone was coming towards the center of the city
The dance floor was crowded, the bathrooms were worse
We kissed in your car and we drank from your purse

I had my mouth on her nose
When the chaperon said that we were dancing too close

We had some massive nights, every song was right
All that wine was tight
And your friends were pretty cool
And my friends were acting cool

And there weren't any fights
There's usually one or two
Some guys they get a little bit uptight
Some girls they got something to prove

We had some massive highs
We had some crushing lows
We had some lusty little crushes
We had those all ages hardcore matinee shows"

Check out part 1 and part 2 in previous posts. The reception has just ended, but the night is FAR from over:

The lights are on, and Jake and I decide we want to go to Trinity Bar to meet up with Amy and Whitney and a few of their friends. We're given the good news by Greg that it's totally walkable from the reception hall and he points us in the right direction. We get outside, but apparently we've had 1 too many glasses of brandy because neither of us can remember which way we are supposed to go. Dude, I think we need to go this way. That's the lake. Oh...damn. Alright, new plan. Taxi. Either we're really impatient when we are drinking, or the taxi was taking FOREVER, but regardless when we found out the limo was coming back to take whoever was left back to our hotel we jumped at it figuring it would be much easier to get a cab from right outside the Marriott. Wrong, again we wait a looong time. We've amassed a large group of people from the wedding, but eventually their patience is worn thin. F this, we're going up the block to Mo's. Soon it was just Kyle, Jake and I. But our taxi did arrive, Trinity here we come. One problem, Jake had hiccups in the cab. Too bad we were already in the cab or we could've done jumping jacks in the middle of the street to reenact a drunken moment from our sophomore year at 3am on Stadium Drive. For the record jumping jacks do not cure hiccups, but they are a hell of a lot of fun!

The bouncer semi-surprisingly let's us in to Trinity without any hassle (I guess this is Wisconsin, beer capital of the States). And it is packed. And loud. The people were loud, the music was blaring, for 3 drunk people stepping in off of the quiet street...well I remember my jaw dropping. Sensory overload, you could've zapped me with a taser and I don't think I would've felt it for like 10 seconds. I cannot explain it, but my alcohol-fueled internal compass is amazing. I led us down a hallway, around a large room, and bam, we found Whit and Amy. What follows has been verified by Whitney as being accurate...and I fear we actually did more shots than I had originally thought. So we find them, say hi, and walk to to bar. Time for shots. Multiple shots. Jake and I should not be allowed to drink together unattended. Ask anyone who witnessed us in Prague last year. We alternate buying rounds of shots for everyone...and if anyone doesn't want a shot, we take them. And these are real shots like Jameson, Irish car bombs, starry nights, etc. It's estimated Jake and I each did 6 or 7 shots at Trinity. I have only 2 real memories of Trinity after that; losing Kyle when he went to talk with a girl he a couple of weeks ago at the piano bar during the bachelor party, and trying to dance on the table when "The Sign" by Ace of Base came on. Thankfully someone pulled me off before I was able to get going and or kicked out. Or was I kicked out??

Our time at Trinity came to an end (this is a polite way of saying I have no idea how the f*ck Jake and I got back to the hotel, but we did). But we were sans Kyle, who we'd lost with his lady friend. I'm going to go ahead and paraphrase Kyle's next 2 hours in one paragraph: Trinity was loud, Kyle suggested to his lady friend they go back to the hotel so they could actually hear and be able to talk. Lady friend pulls up to hotel, Kyle says goodnight and jumps out and goes inside. Smooth. Unfortunately for Kyle, he does not have a room key. I am apparently a room key nazi, and if you ask me for it when I'm drinking, even if I have no need of it, I will lie to your face and tell you I don't have it. I will enjoy it too. Also not working in his favor is that everyone who would still be up has gone to the bar. Kyle lays down in hallway outside room and starts texting people to come back and let him in. When he's shot down, he got textually aggressive ("You will choke on your burger if you ifx you foot bring of one"). After an hour in the hallway he finally figures out May and Co. are downstairs and is resuscitated by their pizza.

While all that is happening, Jake and I make it back to hotel and meet up with Christy, Abby, etc who are on their way to get food. Count us in, and I know just the place! George FUCKING WEBB. For some reason they have popped a bag of popcorn in their room and are carrying it around even though we are walking to get food? Yes, these are my friends. While walking we come across some lion statues and have to feed them popcorn and take several inappropriate photos on. The one of Abby and I is my fave. At this point Christy and Jake decide we need to save the popcorn for later in case we get hungry but don't want to carry the bag anymore. So they stuff popcorn in every pocket of my tux. This was actually real helpful the next morning when we were trying to reassemble all of our tux pieces. Are you sure that jacket is yours? Positive. How do you know? There is f*cking popcorn in every damn pocket. Oh, and look, here is their wedding license, how the hell did this survive last night?

Speaking of wedding licenses, quick side story from part 2 I forgot. So the wedding is over, and we're still at the church. Greg brings me his copy of the wedding license. Since we won't be back to the hotel 'til after the reception tonight, he doesn't want to hold it. He says, "Alright, I need you to hold on to this Lee...(hesitates, starts to turn away, sighs, then turns back to me) damn it, do NOT lose this!"

We make it to GWebb's and it's packed, and there are a lot of us and only 1 cook and 1 server. When the server finally gets to us Bethers sends them away since we need another minute. WTF!?! I realize I'm not going to make it much longer and head up to sit at the counter with Tim and Tyler since they are about to order. I have never ever passed out in public before or even at a party. But feel I am in danger of collapsing on GWebb's counter. Soooo tired. I do the only thing I can; start pounding coffees. This is my 3rd night in a row in Milwaukee that I have wound up at GWebb's (streak extends back to the last night of the bachelor party) and had wound up puking the 2 previous nights. Thank God I finally ended the vomit streak, but it was a battle later. Anyways, yet again I can't figure out the menu with it's large pictures. And I really want eggs, but can't form that thought into a coherent sentence. So instead I do remember that I had a double cheeseburger and onion rings last night, I order that.

Large memory gap, but next thing I know I'm back in the hotel room chilling, Kyle is borderline passed out on the couch, and I have found a 2nd wind. Thank God there was no more alcohol left in our room. But I do the next best thing and make my way down to the lobby to get yet another cup of coffee. When I return we stay up awhile talking and maybe dancing? Then around 5amish people finally start going to bed and I take a shower...'cuz you know, why not? Tyler and Kyle take the bed, so I'm left with pull-out couch. Except for the life of me I'm too drunk to figure out how to get the damn bed out. So I make like the night before and blast some music from the iHome (love that every hotel room had these!), build a bed out of large couch cushions and blankets, and sleep the sleep of angels...or drunken zombies.

Next morning was painful. I couldn't even drink coffee right away. Way too shaky. Caffeine crash from last night along with my vengeful hangover. But made it through breakfast, wedding gifts, a lot of standing around, and then Christy and I got to deliver all of the opened presents back to Greg and Kelley's apartment. This was an adventure as I'm not convinced Christy was sober yet. She was driving and accelerating at the red lights (happened twice); "Christy, red light, OMG RED LIGHT, STOP!" Or stopping at the green lights (just once). Finally we got to leave Milwaukee; and Tyler, Kyle, Neal, Jen, Bethers, May and I had a pretty quiet and tired return trip. We stopped to eat at a Wendy's in Wisconsin and I burned away a layer of tissue in my mouth when I bit into my chicken sandwich. Later when I was looking at my debit account activities from the weekend I saw that the Wendy's we ate at was in Fucking Sturtevant. City of lies and gas stations miles from the free way and obnoxious 40mph speed limits through the wide-open country side. Damn you Tyler and Neal for driving me here!!

a wedding weekend part 2: wedding on a hot plate and a reception with brandy

2010-06-24T17:27:00.001-04:00

Check out part 1 last post, or start on the wedding day here.

All things considered I felt alright Saturday morning. All the groomsmen/groom/ushers (Greg, Chris, Neal, Tyler, Jeff, Tim, Tony, Kyle, and me) made it to breakfast at Rock Bottom Brewery. We originally tried to go to George Webbs (oye), but it was packed (thank God!). Here I had the best bloody mary I have ever had. Celery the size of a shrubbery, pickle, green olive, lemon, lime, pepperjack cheese, banana pepper and a piece of crispy BACON! Those might have been my only veggies all weekend not named onion rings. I was able to suck down the bloody mary, but the omelet and coffee required more force of will.

Several cups of coffee later back at the hotel and I was ready for a shower and my tux. I'll note here that I would shower again Saturday night around 5amish(?), then legit Sunday morning, and also Monday morning, and would somehow not/forget to use shampoo the entire time. For anyone who had to work with me Monday or just see me, my greasy hair was a glaring sign that I was a mess.

The wedding itself was beautiful and hot. So hot, I was literally dripping sweat (also might have had something to do with that's about when my BAC probably returned to zero). Didn't help I got to stand for the entire thing. I spent way too much time staring at the fan sitting by the videocamera and trying to use mind powers to turn it on since it was pointed right at me. Thankfully there were the whole proceedings of a wedding that I was best man for to distract me from the heat.

Before we knew it, Greg and Kelley were married, we took some pics, then time for the party limo. Many cans of Miller Lite, bottles of Mike's Light Hard Lemonade (ewwww), and several bottles of champ. And we are classy people, so the bride and groom drank their champagne from glasses while the rest of the wedding party passed the bottles around. The average life span of our bottles was maybe 120 seconds once popped, can't say no to the cannonball.

We arrived at the reception in good spirits, well the limo was now devoid of all spirits, but we were jolly. And we still had over an hour to kill before our official entrance and such, but thankfully we had open bar and hors d'oeuvres to tide us over. This got a little dangerous after my first 7 & 7, when going for a refill it was pointed out to me that I could get my mixed drinks as a double. I'm going to credit May with sharing this unnecessary but so inviting nugget of knowledge with me. For the almost 7 hours of open bar I consumed exactly 1 glass of wine (well maybe another with dinner), 1 Miller Lite, 2 glasses of champagne, and unfathomable amounts of mixed drinks. I did realize that since I was the best man and had to give a toast, and I hate talking in front of people, that I should NOT be drunk for this. So I sensibly grabbed a bottle of water with my double 7 & 7 and kept things in control 'til after dinner. I had very few moments of sensibility for the next 10-13 hours. But drinking about 7 bottles of water throughout the evening was one of them! And when the DJ's came out and said they would be taking requests, in fact I ran up there the moment they came on and talked to them before they even played any music.

Me: I have a request.

DJ: Anything for the best man.

Me: Party In The USA by Miley Cyrus

DJ (after cracking up): I KNEW that was going to get requested, but not as a first song, or by a guy...so early in the night

Me: You're right, okay, I'll take that and I'd also like Paper Planes by MIA, but Miley first.

DJ: That's awesome.

"I hopped off the plane at LAX with a dream and a cardigan..."

Of note here, if I had been able to hear the audio of the horrible video Kyle took of me from Friday night dancing after Mo's to Paper Planes, then there would have been no way in hell I was requesting it. Let me dance in peace bro!

The reception was pretty standard affair. Lot of dancing, drinking, and inappropriate pictures with an intermission for cigars. A couple of things stand out:

- Kyle never ever took off his sunglasses, despite how dark it was.

- The bash brothers; Tony and Chris. They were like tornadoes in a trailer park orphanage. No one had a chance. If you let them get near you then you were going to get picked up against your will and set down if you were lucky. If not you were going to be thrown, dropped, or slammed to the ground. Also Chris must have been watching too much Twilight and started biting the shit out of people. Later he would start kissing people on the cheek or tap his cheek obnoxiously wanting a kiss. It was...well, I'm glad he didn't wind up in jail.

- Coffee! Specifically getting my coffee and thinking out loud, man, I wish this was an IRISH coffee. Hey Lee, you know they have whiskey at the bar right? Then either Lindsey or Jake brought back a glass of whiskey and everyone at our table had Irish coffees. Never have I been more proud of my friends.

- I got a lap dance from the maid of honor and the bride while we were waiting to make our entrance. Don't tell Christy's date or Greg! :P

- I had never had Brandy before. I asked the bartender, so I'll have a Brandy...and what do I mix with it? You don't, it's Brandy. Oh cool, alright, give me some extra ice then. Are you sure you want this? Promise. Brandy is all I drank the rest of the open bar.

- Kyle becoming more and more John Daly-like and smoking his first cigar.

- Tony attempted, well succeeded at the worm, but also smashed the shit out of his chin on the ground and wound up being the day's 2nd bleeder. Bether's gross-ass foot blister was the first.

- At the end, I missed last call 'cuz I was outside talking to people. Abby runs up to me holding 2x mixed drinks, dude, you need to get in there no. Oh shit, you're right. I run inside now noticing all the lights are on and the liquor is all gone. To the remaining bartender (same guy who started me on the Brandy), I see the liquor is gone. Yeah, sorry man, last call is over. As luck would have it Beth came up then and wanted one last Miller Lite. When the bartender refused her, she said it was cool, she could pour her own and walked around the bar and put a cup under that tab. The poor guy quickly had to stop her and explain to her that that was illegal and she had to remove herself from the bar area. Seeing an opportunity I sold Beth down the river and apologized to the bartender for my drunk friend. He thanked me for not being a dick as most people would've been in that situation when their friend just got yelled at. Then my night was made and he poured me a tall frothy Miller Lite. Last drink served of the night bitches!

So last call came, we all danced/screamed to "On A Boat" and then like free beer at a tailgate the reception was out. What to do now?

a wedding weekend: part 1 Friday

2010-06-22T19:45:00.002-04:00

**EDIT So I apparently had a big misremembering error, and GWebb's came BEFORE Mo's. I've also added the coffee and ice water story along with an explanation for why it seemed like I was double-fisting drinks at Mo's (hint, I actually was, thank you Kyle).

Congratulations to Greg and Kelley; the wedding was beautiful and the reception was untouchable. So much celebration. Actually it was the most out of control wedding weekend I have ever experienced. The first sign that this weekend might tilt out of hand came when we stopped at Starbucks before heading out of Kalamazoo Friday morning. Kyle and I were brand new espresso fans (lost our espresso-virginity last Saturday), and were debating between a giant coffee or a double espresso. Then I read the words "For 70 cents add a shot of espresso to any coffee." Game over. And thus began my weekend of over-indulgences: coffee, espresso, beer, wine, whiskey, George Webbs, brandy, Irish coffee, and shots.

Still, life remained fairly calm even after we hit up Polish Fest in Milwaukee on Friday afternoon. A couple of brews were easily countered with some extreme heat (upper 80's and humid) and amazing food (giant perogies and reubens with potato pancakes for the bun). We all made it to the wedding rehearsal sober. But dinner became awesome when we found out that the bar was going to be open (well at least for wine and beer) for like 4 hours. Then Kelley's brothers started buying shots, and all bets on the night (and the weekend) were off. Eventually a couple of us had to run a couple of errands at the end of the open bar and the night still had time to cool off. But when Greg and I stepped off the elevator to our floor we are greeted to Kyle, BETHERS (who is now my hero for doing this), Tyler, and Neal shotgunning beers in the f$cking HALLWAY! Even worse they punched the hole too small or something and it took like a minute. Step into the room gentlemen and reload, let me show you the proper way to handle that thing.

For better or worse, I'm pretty sure that is the one and only beer I shotgunned all weekend. I had one last chance for the night to resolve peacefully, but as I exited Neal and Jen's room to return to ours, I ran into Kyle in the hallway. Hey Lee, let's head out. Oh nice, I'm in! Where should we go? APPLEBEES, $1.99 long islands!! Well we couldn't find Applebee's initially, and when we did we were rudely reminded that while they have awesome specials in Milwaukee, they close way too early and the door was locked. But hey, aren't we like a block from George Webb, the redic Milwaukee restaurant that is trying to kill me. I couldn't even focus on the menu, let alone decipher any of the giant pictures that I could order.

Server: What would you like?

Me: Coffee!

Server: Anything to eat?

Me: Yes!

Server: What would you like?

Me: Yes!

Server, probably concerned now: Okay?

Me: I'll have what he's having.

Kyle: I haven't ordered yet.

Me: Yes!

Kyle: I'll have the double cheeseburger with onion rings.

Me: I'll have that.

Server: Do you want the onions on the burger sautéed or fried?

Me: Yes!

Then when we go to leave I have fresh coffee that is too hot to drink. I guess I was operating under the motif "no man left behind" so I dumped my coffee into my half-full ice water and chugged it. Greg joined us at this point and said that Kelley's brothers (Jeff and Tim) and cousins (Rachel and Kyle) were at Mo's. I cannot say enough how wild they are, I had no chance once we set foot in Mo's. I can't imagine what their tab was that night. I'd get handed a rum and coke and a minute later would be handed a beer. Hey, I have a drink. You, best man, need to get in the game. Oh dear. Also later (well tonight actually) I found out that one of the reasons I seemed to be double fisting constantly is that Kyle kept handing me his drinks when we got new ones. Hey Kyle, my liver's middle finger has a message for you. What felt like seconds after receiving my 2nd drink to hold, I'm handed a shot of jager. Things are really blurry after that. I know I ordered at least 1 round of shots, but for the life of me I couldn't count how many people we had. Me to the bartender, alright, I need jager bombs. How many? 4. Okay. No, make that 8. Okay. No, just kidding, has to be 9. Alright, are you sure sir? No. Long pause, 9 shots!!!

So we leave the bar and Tim and Jeff light up cigs. I'm on a whole different level now and have never smoked a cig before. So naturally I say, hey give me one, I want to blow a smoke ring. Of course, being an idiot I put the wrong end of the cig in my mouth and they try in vain to light the end that should be in my mouth with no take. All I manage to do is have my end dissolve rapidly and the cig breaks apart releasing tobacco and wrapper all over my mouth. It was like gross and horrible sand. Eventually we did get it flipped around and I was able to accomplish choking on smoked tobacco and not whole tobacco. And no, I obviously did not produce a smoke ring, just some damning pics Kyle can hang over my head. So gross.

Of course after this we still couldn't head back to the hotel, time to eat at

Obnoxious. Pictures from later indicate we made it back to the hotel and I started wrestling people. Sorry suite-mates. Pictures also indicate at some point I had enough and just sat by the wall cradling my head. My last 2 memories are of waking up at some point and stumbling into the bathroom to puke. Then later waking up frozen, in just my boxers, curled up against the wall by the hallway door. And if you were to draw lines from the bed to the bathroom to the hallway door you'd get a big f*cking triangle. And this was the night BEFORE the wedding.

My favorite moment rehashing and piecing together Friday came the next morning.

Tyler: I just remember Lee is surprisingly heavy for his size.

Me: Wait, why were you picking me up?

Tyler: I wasn't, you were sitting on me.

Shutter Island: Book vs Movie

2010-06-17T19:41:00.004-04:00

If you have not seen or read Shutter Island yet (written by Dennis Lehane who also wrote Mystic River or starring Leo DiCaprio) please please please read the book first. The end of the book will shock you. In the movie they give it away much earlier. Also, I am going with no spoiler for this post, so don't fret about reading on.

First the book is well-written and fast-paced. It's easily my favorite Lehane novel, besting the enjoyable Mystic River. As for the plot, Shutter Island is set in 1954 with 2 U.S. Marshal's searching for an escaped criminally insane patient from the local mental institution. But there is nothing ordinary about this island or the story.

As for the movie...overall disappointing. Really not sure it's a book that should have been made into a movie. Maybe M. Night Shyamalan could've pulled it off, but this is so different from Martin Scorsese's other films. And I'm a Leo fan, but he was at best average in this film. Compared to The Departed, Blood Diamond, and What's Eating Gilbert Grape (all movies I loved him in, and NO, I've never seen Titanic!!) it's jarring how his role doesn't stand out. Especially when Mark Ruffalo, Ben Kingsley, and Ted Levine among others have such strong performances. I feel like Edward Norton should've played Teddy instead of Leo. Plus the movies is long, clocking in at 138 minutes. And the first 90-some minutes are pretty slow. There is some cool/creepy imagery, but not a whole lot seems to happen. The book handles the flashbacks much better. Plus some of the earlier dialog is painful. However the last 45 minutes pick up and fly along. And some of the best lines of the movie are offered here. And for anyone who has kids, wants kids, or likes kids; the scene at the lakehouse near the end is absolutely horrifying. Easily Leo's best scene. Anyways, here's some of my fave quotes from the movie:

Teddy: Why are you all wet, baby?

Warden: We wage war, we burn sacrifices we pillage and plunder and treat at the flesh of our brothers and why? Because God gave us violence to wage in his honor.

Teddy: I thought God gave us moral orders.

Warden: There's no moral order at all. There's just this: can my violence conquer yours?

Warden: If I were to sink my teeth into your eye, right now, could you stop me before I blinded you?

Teddy: Give it a try.

Warden: That's the spirit.

Dr. Naering: Did you knows that the word trauma comes from the Greek for wound? Wounds can create monsters and you, you are wounded Marshal. And wouldn't you agree that when you see a monster you must stop it?

Dr. Cawling: It used to be that the kind of patients we deal with here were shackled and left in their own filth. They were beaten as if whipping them bloody would drive their psychosis out. We drove screws into their brains and we submerged them in icy water until they lost consciousness or drowned.

Mental Patient: Well I have my dark days, I suppose everybody does. The difference is that most people don't kill their husbands with an axe.

Take It

2010-06-15T22:23:00.004-04:00

She keeps gazing out the window

The horizon seems too close

Let's drive away 'til we run out of gas

Pack all your things

I'll carry the baggage

Once we get to Memphis, head west

Hitchhike 'til the Pacific brushes our knees

Learn to surf and drink margaritas

Crossword puzzles and wine

Our thoughts and feelings

Float in the sun and feel fucking fine

We can talk or soak silence

Bullshit a tenant

Of some discarded cardboard box

We recycled in Tempe

She can hit me or hold me

Scream at me or kiss me

Feel her under me on the sand

With the stars rising in the sky

But reality can't be a dream

So she can take everything

I've got the resolution to give

I'll die twice before I won't try

There's a closet in my heart

That's so fucking big

Walk-in, stop by, say "hi"

I want to track her down

Tell her to come with me

It's too early for goodbye

Don't worry about me

I want it

Don't be so damn hard

'Cuz I'll show her stubborn

And all of my scars

Just give me one chance

So I can relax

And we can test-drive

Alive take it for a fucking spin

Jus' around the block

Back before close at 5

Promise

holy sh!t, i gave blood

2010-06-10T21:12:00.003-04:00

I have 2 major fears; sharks and needles (wasps are included here). Along with several smaller fears; heights (if I had had opted for 3 tiers of fear, heights would've been alone on the middle platform), blood, and ants (not a single ant, or even a couple of ants, but like ants en masse freak me out).

Yesterday I took on two of my fears and donated blood for the first time. I'm sure to probably everyone who reads this, donating blood does not sound like a big deal. Well to me it is a huge deal. The thought of sticking a needle into my arm and letting a pint of blood drain out makes me weak. On Monday I was talked into donating blood by the nurses at CAS, and as soon as I announced this pretty much all of my friends started texting/calling me and giving me their "craziest f*cking thing that ever happened during a blood donation" stories. Then on Wednesday one of the same nurses who had convinced me to give blood took me aside and warned me that the nurses that were going to take my blood were usually pretty mean, so don't go looking for kindness. Gulp, I thought, I didn't know if I'd be able to do it without a couple of nurses holding my hand and/or restraining me on the table while they inserted the needle.

I show up Wednesday afternoon to give blood a semi-wreck. Need proof, the first thing I'm asked for is picture ID (clearly needed), I'd left my license in my car. I was so nervous I wasn't embarrassed. I even stared out at the passing traffic and thought maybe this was a sign I should drive off. Nope, time to dig deep, show some balls (figuratively), and f&cking do this!

I remained relatively composed until they pricked my finger and took a blood sample. Probably standard practice, but they use little disposable needle clamp things that look like something out of my Mom's stamp stuff. In fact I thought there might be a cute little bunny or turtle on it. Lying next to this innocent stamp-needle sample taker was the world's largest safety pin. It could've punctured a blue whale! If the giant redwood trees were actually pine trees, this is what their needles would look like. And this enormous needle was what I was staring at the entire time the guy disinfected my finger and applied the stamp to me. You see, the needle was just a (sick!) joke, or for show? The unassuming stamp-thing was the culprit. Needless to say, staring at this giant needle, I was shocked to all of a sudden feel a sharp pain in my index finger as the needle lay quietly on the table. The nurse removed the stamp, and my finger looked fine, no hole, no blood. Then he squeezed my finger, and it was a geyser! Oh God, I thought, I'm dying. Frozen in terror, I did not punch the nurse as he squeezed my finger again and collected a sample of my gushing blood.

A few minutes later it was declared I had plenty of red blood cells and could donate blood. Joy. I was given a bottle of water to drink and then another nurse (well technically not yet, CNA for now), Chelsea, led me to a table. She was a year or 2 older than me, and very cute. I was too stressed out to really talk to her though. She put me on the table and the male nurse came over and whispered to her for a second. She turned back to me and smiled, "So I hear this is your first time, don't worry, I promise it's not that bad."

Too scared to try and flirt, I weakly said, "Be gentle." She laughed and went into nurse-mode. Constant chatter and questions for me while she went about her business setting me up for blood excavation. And it worked. She probably cut my pulse rate in half and brought me from scared shitless to very nervous. And nervous is of course where I start cracking jokes. And I'm sure she was laughing at most of them just to get me to relax, but I was able to crack her up a couple of times...which if I had been thinking clearly I would have realized the person sticking a needle into my arm should NOT be laughing.

But Chelsea was awesome, and the 9 minutes it took me to fill me pint bag went relatively quickly. I couldn't actually feel the blood leaving me...but everytime I squeezed my stress ball (every 10-15 seconds) I could feel the needle in my f*cking arm. She had told me before hand that most people can leave within 5-10 minutes of having their arm bandaged up at the end. Well I felt great after my needle was out and the bandage and gauze had been applied. I hopped right off the table, still feeling great. But I guess I must have looked real pale or been tipsy, 'cuz Chelsea took my arm and said, "You're probably going to have to stay about 15-20 minutes." Then she guided me over to the chairs by the snacks. I should note that I felt fine during this whole time, only later did it click that I must have been showing signs of being dizzy or wobbly. Anyways, I stood up like 30 seconds later upon spotting a coffee pot and asked another nurse walking by if blood donors could drink coffee right after? Well Chelsea ran over, sat me down, and said she'd happily get me a cup of coffee. Then she sat down and talked to me for the whole 20 minutes. I'd like to think I wasn't that bad off (and couldn't have been woozy for the whole 20 minutes, or they wouldn't have let me leave right?) and she just wanted to hang out with me. It's really too bad she had a couple of kids (8 and 4 year old), she was pretty cool and nice. And we had a deep conversation for being complete strangers. We talked about her a lot, being a single mom with 2 kids, how she's going back to get her nursing degree this fall, a severe car accident she was in when she was 19. And I told her about some of the crazy stuff going on my life, some of which I haven't really talked to anyone about before. Losing a pint of blood will do crazy stuff!! Thank you Chelsea for getting me through this, now I can proudly say I'm a blood donor...even if I'm not sure I can ever do it again!

night and day

2010-06-07T17:39:00.004-04:00

School year at North Middle ended last Friday. My summer vacation began...and lasted 2 whole frickin' days. Yep, I started back up in a new room at CAS. Up until last Thursday I thought I would be back in my old room...but then the opportunity for more hours opened up and I jumped at it without thinking...or without requesting at least a day off to kind of experience a "summer break."

I was actually pretty nervous about today; new kids (using "kids" loosely as I think the age range of my class is like 20-26! But mentally they are decades younger.), going from autism spectrum disorder to severe cognitive impairment, and new staff. And it was weird being at CAS without MY kids (yes, it's going to be awhile before I can let go of everyone I talked about in my last post) or serving ISS. But I had at least met some of the staff I'm working with before and had only heard good things about them. And they were all nice to me.

The kids were cool too. Though it is jarring going from my kids who for the most part were always talking to these SCI students; where only 2 are capable of some speech. And for unknown reasons I'm always surprised when kids actually like me...and surprise myself that I like kids. Like if you'd asked me even 2 years about kids, I woulda been like, meh. But now, I enjoy them, a lot. It was pretty cool to bond with my new students today. And I even got a couple of very unexpected compliments from people who had seen me at CAS on off-site days working with MY kids this year. Controlled chaos that was!

So the good news is I think I'll enjoy my summer room. The bad news is that I have the pleasure of changing diapers and spoon-feeding again. Not two of my favorite tasks. But really, after what I just went through in my ASD room, this summer job should be much less stressful (in good and bad ways) and be comparatively boring. That's okay, I need a recharge. Not having to worry about a student shoving me into a wall or hitting another kid with a f*$king hockey stick if I so much as glance away is a pretty nice feeling!

no more school (sorta)

2010-06-06T10:42:00.007-04:00

My school year in my ASD classroom ended Friday. The year needed to be done, but man oh man I am going to miss that job. Here are some pictures I took during the last week, and I apologize if the format is screwy, I suck at putting pics up on my blog. This post took me forever. Anyways, below are my kids:

Brock rocking out to an Oompa Loompa song on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. He is the most amazing kid/person I have ever met. I suck at goodbyes, and the fact I will probably never see him again kills me. I love this kid. "Come to papa, Mr. S"

Brandt dancing. I have resolved to only be positive in this post.

Justin "dancing" to DDR. Really he just stood their and laughed.

Sarah, the most creative and literally amazing kid I have ever known. This is her disguise, she is the leader of Cuba! I wish I had video of her happy dance, I don't care what kind of day you were having, it would cheer you up.

Sarah, Brock, and Xavier.

Rachel and Kepler making goofy faces. Please God, may Kepler hit puberty this summer so his voice can drop!

The staff: Nichole, Jess, me, and Deb. Love these girls. This was the most rewarding and enjoyable job (haha, well not EVERY day) I've ever had. Working with them was a big part of it.

Brock and Xavier with the service dog.

Kep dancing it up, he must have played this before because he was pretty good.

Not sure if this pic is big enough, but this is from the last day of school. Sarah is wearing an AC/DC shirt that says "Highway To Hell". When Nichole asked her in the morning what her shirt said, Sarah's response was, "Have a great summer."

Xavier and Rachel dancing, with Alan in the background. Sorry Alan, this is my best (read only) photo of you.

Nichole and Brock dancing. "No video!" Fine, pics then.

Joy In 3 Steps

2010-06-04T21:44:00.003-04:00

She finished her drink and stepped up to the painting. It is a watercolor, the same red hue as her merlot had been. She took a step closer and saw that no, it was in fact various tones of red. The painting was dominated by 3 squares standing on top of each other; the top 2 were lighter in the middle and got darker as the strokes hastened to the edge. But the bottom square was both smaller and was closer to salmon at the edges, and seemed to fold inward to a dark center; much like a black hole will suck stars down to the size of a grape. She took a step back and focused on the painting as a whole. Now the squares were clearly rectangles, and appeared to be rolling in the waves of a sea, reflections red with a sunset. Congrats artist, she thought, you made squares roll on waves, fucking brilliant. She turned and stepped right into him.

He caught her with a smile. “You alright?” he asked, noticing her empty wine glass.

“I’m so sorry, didn’t see you there, got caught up in the painting I guess.” She said, rolling her eyes at the painting.

He didn’t notice, “Oh, this one is brilliant, I was over here for 20 minutes earlier just watching it.”

It would’ve taken a heroic effort for her to keep the sarcasm out of her voice, she was no hero, “Yes, brilliant was EXACTLY what I was just thinking. But what does it make you FEEL?”

He didn’t hesitate, “That painting makes me angry. I mean look at it. At a glance you see three squares or maybe rectangles depending on the distance, and they seem as if they’re rolling in a fog or breaking over a rough sea. But stare at it for 5 or 10 minutes. That bottom shape is not a square or a rectangle, it is a car crash. It is a station wagon embedded into a SUV at impact. See the glass impacting and separating and here (taps painting) the family dog, a pug maybe, just went through both windshields, upside down it kind of looks like an owl. But assuming the red is not just for blood, but also a sunset, a farewell to life, well then it has to be the family pug. And here, in the back window of the station wagon, a face looks out. The eyes are open, a tenth of a second from being crushed into a powder as fine as a packet of Gatorade. That’s why this square is dark at the center, its death. The light is the soul being set free, and all that is left is some twisted metal and some broken glass. Firefighters, and EMT’s, and gawkers will come, but they can’t light the dark, time put a permanent crust on this moment.” He paused long enough to sip his white zinfandel. “Now the middle image is at first hard to place, it is nothing as dramatic as a car crash. It took awhile, but now I know, it is a tombstone. Well a graveyard to be specific, but we are only shown the lone grave. And this image seems to be lighter in the center, but barely. It is not death, nor a sun. It is a waxing moon that gives the slight glow. And behind the grave there, a couple is arguing. See how she has her hand on her hip. She cheated on him, but he doesn’t know that yet. That’s not why they are fighting. That’s his mother in the grave. His mother never liked her. They both know this. Why they would argue next to her tombstone I don’t know. But we know that despite their arguments and her disregard to fidelity, they are in love. The red shows this, the moon shows this. Whether love is enough for them, I don’t know.” With only a quick glance at her he continued to the top square, “Now this is the image that disturbs me. See how bright the center it is, it is noon, and these 3 couples are at the beach. One girl is listening to her iPod, and her boyfriend is next to her. See the darker swirls coming off of him, that’s not heat, he has cancer. He’s clueless about it, but only months to live. It’s okay, they don’t love each other. In fact none of these couples do. They are a palm tree together on the tropics of life. BUT, they are all happy now, see how close together they are. Couple #2 is asleep, but still holding hands. Joy. So we have 3 images total; Joy, Love, and Tragedy. But they are not equal, they are linear. Joy is on top, so Joy is greater than its bottom bunkmate Love. And both are more than their basement-dwelling cousin Tragedy. But I ask you, really? I get love, it is enduring. It’s what makes it okay to wake up in the morning and face the world. It dulls the positive and the negative. Love IS. To be in love is not to be invincible, but rather to not care about the mundane. The mundane becomes impossible. Why? Because those that are in love are distracted. They smile more, they worry less. It’s like alcohol (again glances at her empty glass), only without the struggling liver, the regrets, and the hangover. Love does triumph over tragedy. But tragedy can also be enduring. It can kidnap a bystander into the abyss. Tragedies will scar, memories will burn. Tragedy is the salt truck that bursts into flame only to land on your recently lacerated back 10 years later. And if this is tragedy, and that is love (tapping painting), then how the fuck is joy on top? Joy is a moment of bliss. It is euphoria, it is unsustainable. It is the stock market at peak, it’s a Michigan snow in April, and it’s the just-plunged heroin needle. Joy is a curve; it rises like a geyser, only to fall away farther, faster. Gravity is a bitch. So where does this artist get off saying joy triumphs both tragedy and love; both of which will be around long after joy has rusted out, given a child tetanus, and been discarded in the forest. That is what makes me angry.”

God I’m thirsty, she thinks while walking away. She glances over her shoulder and calls back, “Dude, they are FUCKING rectangles.”

Memorial Weekend

2010-06-01T19:45:00.006-04:00

This weekend was Greg's bachelor party, here's what I can share with you (I, for instance, did not go to the strip club):

- Friday we didn't get to Milwaukee until almost 11pm. Despite all of my "AGGRESSIVE MANEUVER!"-ing on the highway. Within 5 minutes we were having beer.

- Never have I experienced a tailgate at a MLB baseball game like I did in Milwaukee on Saturday. It was like being at a college football game, with only slightly less drinking. Parking lot was full, and EVERYONE was grilling, playing bags, and drinking beer. So cool, good job Milwaukee!!

- For our 2 hour tailgate before the baseball game Saturday the 9 of us consumed about 82 beers. This does not include beer drank earlier while golfing or at the apartment while getting ready to tailgate. Nor does it include any drinks inside the stadium or any from all of the bars we went to after.

- In the 1st inning of our game, Corey Hart hit a grand slam, and another 2-run homer in the 3rd inning!

- Somehow at 12:30am Saturday night I wound up at a diner eating breakfast and having coffee by myself. Tony was with me, but wanted to go back to the hotel. He asked for my room key but I said I didn't have it (lie), but that Chris did have the other one and was up in the room (also a lie). Tony left. When he got to the empty hotel room and was locked out, he called Chris, who was kind enough to go to the hotel room to let him in. But on the way Chris randomly saw me through the diner window and came in and stole my toast. Karma wasn't done with me either as I would shortly be spending some time cradling the toilet in the room and wind up sleeping on the floor without blankets and my shirt for a pillow.

- Don't ever go tequila, jager, tequila.

- My favorite part of Saturday was opening a side door at a bar, sitting in a chair in the alley and playing bouncer. I got free fries from a street vendor and a free beer out of it!

- Beating Greg for the first time ever in Mario Striker on Sunday! Redeeming myself for his 13-0 rape of me on Friday.

- While driving to Chicago on Sunday, I decide it will be cheaper to get gas in Wisconsin than Illinois, so we get off at the Sturtevant exit where the sign proclaims the gas station is 0.4 miles down the road. Wrong. It turns out to be 3.5 miles down the road, and despite just driving through open country and farms, the speed limit drops to 40mph and then 30mph rapidly. Needless to say Sturtevant is dead to me and I hope the town burns.

- Fear of heights came through for me when Chris wanted us to jump off of the bridge into the Milwaukee River Saturday night. I refused. Nor did I run away or vanish for any great length of time this weekend. Me mature now?

- Played barefoot soccer with a kids utility ball at our cookout with the bachelorette party and some friends on Sunday. I got kicked in the exact same spot on my heel (still hurts when I put shoes on initially) twice and my ankle, and stepped on repeatedly. Plus there was the moment when I ran full speed back to cover on D, realized I couldn't stop on the slick grass, and flew into the wall of shrubs. My initial fear was that I would fly out onto the road on the other side so I braced to dodge a car. Nope, I freakin' smashed that bush and was flung BACKWARDS several feet onto my head. Between that and the almost 9 hours of drinking (again) on Sunday, was there any wonder I was sooo tired and soooo sore on Monday (and today!). Oh, and don't forget dehydrated.

- Redeemed myself at bags from an abysmal and winless Saturday with Kyle to a couple of long winning streaks with Amy on Sunday.

- Somehow randomly breaking into song and SHOUTING the lyrics to the President's Of The USA's "Peaches" on Saturday and Sunday.

- Playing dice with the bartender on Friday night. Everyone else had escaped and we were tied 1-1 in the best of 3. I was on my last roll and needed a miracle to win and get free shots of what would turn out to be JD. Boom, I did it. Hero. Later it was down to the bartender and I think Tony, and again the bartender loss and had to buy us a drink. I pleaded it for it not to be liquor since I just wanted to nurse something at this late point in the night. I got my wish with a pint of miller lite....but we had to chug it. Pain. Oh and I had my first ever chugging from a glass loss...as the bartender was like superman and downed his entire glass in maybe half a sec. I bow down.

Countless other stories I'm not going to share and/or just have forgotten. Great and fun weekend though, great to see all of my friends...and for all of us to still be alive and not in jail! :P

the day I "didn't" go to the nature center

2010-05-28T09:24:00.006-04:00

"I've given all I can
It's not enough
I've given all I can
But we're still on the payroll
This is what you'll get This is what you'll get
This is what you'll get when you mess with us
And for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself"

*See update at bottom

My problem student had a nice run. He made it almost 8 whole school days without ISS. And he was actually pretty good for those 8 days. Like I had several moments where I actually found some enjoyment in him. With school ending a week from today though, most of my co-workers felt we were going to have an easy run of it the rest of the year. I did not believe this for a second...but was hoping to God I was wrong. Well we made it to about 5 minutes before the kids got on the bus yesterday before the storm struck. Basically my student wanted to call his mom with 3 minutes left in the day to see if she was picking him up. I obviously said no, and he went from a soft summer breeze to a hurricane in about 30 seconds. Still, up until the moment when he charged me and knocked me off my feet into the whiteboard (so thankful I was only about a foot away from the wall, or I would've been on my ass) and then punched me in the stomach I thought worst-case scenario was that he would run to his bus. Well after he attacked me he ran to his bus. I was in shock, rage, and disbelief. Thankfully the other para went after him and I was able to calm down a second and try to be rational.

Of course my day was ruined, I was in a horrible mood all night. I was angry, emotionally spent, sad at how the day went, and just down. I was notified late in the evening that I would get the pleasure of serving ISS with him, which I was already upset enough that that didn't bother me. I was expecting too anyway, and as his physical aggression has become more and more intense, I would feel horrible if one of the other paras got hit. I would much rather take the punches, they are too nice to deserve that!

So last night was a loss, but this morning came the awful realization that today my class is going on a field trip to the Kalamazoo Nature Center. I adore the Nature Center! If there was ever a (practical) field trip that screamed my name, hiking the trails and looking at the animals with my kids at the Nature Center was it. Not anymore, now I'm sitting at the office here serving ISS instead of being outside all day enjoying one of my last days with my students. If there was any shred of good mood in me this morning it was burned away by 6:30am.

But despite the crappy circumstances, my day has been slowly turning around. I must have done a pretty poor job hiding my bad mood this morning, 'cuz one of the ladies from across the hall gave me her donut when we got the kids off the buses. She said it looked like I needed it. While maybe I didn't need a donut, but I for sure needed some small bits of kindness today. That was perfect. Then since I get to spend my day just outside the office in a high traffic area, a lot of people have stopped by to chat (and I've been here so frequently for the ISS that I know a lot of people now). I heard some great and hilarious stories about people I work with too, always good to smile and laugh. The nurses also had a very creepy looking life-size male CPR doll, and I can't repeat what happened, but it was highly inappropriate, love it! Then just a few minutes ago one of my former students was brought to the office and he snuck up behind me and gave me a huge hug, how can you be in a bad mood after that?

The final moment that swung me back to positive happened during a chat with one of the higher-ups here. I've talked about it a bit, but I was pretty hurt when my full-time position for next year did not materialize. Well today I found out that I've had several people who keep recommending me to the powers that be and insisting if something opens up, I would be perfect for it. And the best part is that there is at least a halfway chance a spot in the room I really want will be open. Of course all of this depends on a lot of things breaking my way, and if I've learned anything the past couple of months it's that even apparent sure things have a way of not working for me. So I'll continue to not let my hopes get too high, but hey, I am (usually) an optimist!

Oh, and coming at the perfect time is a big road trip with my friends tonight to Milwaukee to celebrate Greg's ending bachelorhood. Golf, baseball game, big BBQ Sunday with the bachelorette party too, oh and of course many many beverages! Here's hoping I'm still alive Monday!! :P

**Update. My teacher's boss came up to me at my post around 12:15 and told me to get out of here. I assumed she meant take my lunch so I grabbed that and started to walk away. She called me back and said, don't you need the rest of your stuff? I was so confused, why would I need my laptop and book to eat? She laughs, go to the Nature Center! I can watch your kid the rest of the day, have some fun.

Thank you so much!! My time at the NC was brief, but it was great to get to laugh with my kids and co-workers. Having a great day now, Milwaukee time!! Have an awesome Memorial weekend everyone!!!

LOST is over

2010-05-24T16:38:00.004-04:00

**update Great podcast talking all things Lost today, check it here.

*Be warned, this entire post is a spoiler for Lost!

First, boom, I totally called Jack being killed! And in retrospect, of course Hugo had to be his successor. And for the record, I am in the boat of people that LOVED the finale. Wasn't flawless (I'll get to my gripes in a bit), but man did it work.

I was surprised with how emotional I was for the finale, I guess this show really meant a lot to me, I cared for all the characters. I was able to enjoy the first 1.5 hours, but 10:30pm hit and I was like oh snap, I only have 1 hour of new Lost in my life left! And just got anxious/nervous. And yes, I can admit I did have some eye leakage last night, and from more than one moment. Especially from the Juliet/Sawyer reunion, along with the incredible flashback clips shown, well I'm glad I watched this alone! There were just a ton of great moments in the episode; the Charlie/Claire reunion, Kate helping Claire give birth (again!), Jack fighting the smoke monster, Kate being badass and killing the smoke monster, and the closing scene at the church, the closing shot of Jack laying down in the bamboo shoots and closing his eyes...nice homage to the opening scene of Lost where Jack wakes up from the crash in the same spot. Pretty much from when Locke forgave Ben for killing him until the closing credits I was a wreck.

Also loved how pretty much all of the killed-off characters were back with some very emotional returns; Juliet, Charlie, Shannon and Boone!!

And here are my gripes/questions:

- Claire adamantly refused to get on the plane to leave the island, but Kate is able to convince her in one line? I didn't buy it.

- Ben was trapped under a tree, and they showed everyone trying to lift the tree but not being able too. Then next scene Ben is somehow free and uninjured??

- Several complaints about the end church scene, and who was and was not present. 1) Christian said it was everyone from the island back together, well where were Daniel, Charlotte, Ana Lucia, Widmore and Miles? 2) So Jack and Kate end up together, and Sawyer and Juliet end up together. But in the flash-sideways/afterlife/purgatory thing, Jack and Juliet are married and have a kid. Confusing enough, but who the heck was this kid then, and where is he? 3) Speaking of kids, where is Sun and Jin's kid? 4) Finally, Penny never set foot on the island, how did she get to go?

- So Desmond it turns out had no idea what he was doing (and to a lesser extent Ben) on the island, why did Jacob make him come back and why did Widmore want him then?

I wanted to end on a positive note, so I have to give a shout out to Hugo. In the scene where he realizes Jack is going to die and he will become leader of the island, well he nailed it!! Then asking Ben to be his #2, loved it!!

Wow, I am going to miss Lost!!

Au Revoir, Lost

2010-05-23T17:48:00.004-04:00

I know I've gone back and forth on my blog on what the greatest show of all-time is. Depending on the season it's either been Lost, The Wire, or Dexter. Well the contest is over, permanently (and yes, I realize Dexter is ongoing, thank God!): Lost is the greatest TV show of all-time. For 6 seasons it remained relevant, the acting was superb (with a few minor complaints of mine in season 4 and 5), the plot always kept you on your feet, and the slow evolution of the mythology of the show has been satisfying. And then consider the degree of difficulty. The creators/writers of this show really didn't know where they were going with the plot until season 3 (example, see season 2, easily the weakest season of the show), so many characters to keep track of and to keep interesting, yet the show never really seemed to step on it's toes. Thousands and thousands of mysteries have been pursued and explained, and somehow it all seems plausible (this is the thing that blows my mind). The show heavily relied on flashbacks, flashforwards, and even an alternate reality (what if Oceanic Flight 815 had never crashed?) and never really Lost me (unlike season 2 of Heroes). Amazing stuff, my hat is off to everyone who helped create and maintain this phenomenal show!

And here are my awards, you know, the sports fan inside me can't help it:

Most Valuable Player- Considered Ben and Sawyer, but the answer is John Locke. Ben was amazing, but he wasn't there in season 1, and was much less relevant this season (no fault of his own, he's been great as always, just the plot didn't need him). And while I love the evolution of Sawyer, he didn't carry the series in the same way as Locke did.

Most Improved Player- Sawyer! The transformation from season 1 to season 6 is amazing. If I'd been told after season 1 that he would become my favorite character I would've laughed at you. But he did it!

Most Tragic Death- I want to say Juliet, I love her (like massive Elizabeth Mitchell crush!), but while saddened when she was killed off, I didn't shed any real tears. And not that I'm a crier, but I did have some moisture riding gravity down my face when Charlie was killed at the end of season 3.

Scariest Motherf*%&er Alive- Honorable mention to Keamy and Sayid, but this has to be Ben. Don't believe me, just watch him read Little Boy Blue on the Jimmy Fallon Show (shout out to Corie for originally showing me this years ago!). No one conned better, not even Sawyer, and he could kill/expend people with the best (worst?) of them. Like when he shot Charles Widmore last week, and made the smoke monster promise to kill his daughter too. I would feel safer with Dexter!

Comeback Actor Of The Show- Props to Sun and Kate for delivering outstanding seasons this year. While I think I was initially hard on Kate when I criticized her after season 4, Sun did drop the ball then. Now, I felt bad when she died a couple of episodes ago. But this award has to go to Jack. He had a rough season 4 too, but dude, he has been lights out this season! Without thinking too hard about it (or re-watching the season), I'd say he's had the strongest acting performance on the show this year, which is saying A LOT!!!

And with only 2.5 hours of new material left, here are some of my final predictions (I re-read some of my old Lost posts, I've been pretty good at these!!):

- Jack will be killed tonight. Something is nagging me about Desmond basically being the new Jacob in the alternate reality. Doesn't it seem more Lost-like for Jack to finally come to peace with himself, have faith in the island, then be killed?

- I really really really hope Charlie gets a cameo in the finale, this isn't a prediction, just something I want. Oh and Juliet too, of course! :P

- If the smoke monster can be killed, doesn't it have to be Ben that does it? I mean he killed Jacob...who was also immortal, right? Plus he's already killed Locke once...

- Kate ends up...with Sawyer, 'cuz Jack dies, duh!

- Desmond becomes the new Jack who was the new Jacob.

Happy Lost finale!!

perception

2010-05-20T17:06:00.010-04:00

Questions like seconds, words to say to you

I can’t explain what makes you enrapt me

You are layered tones of amazing

A live Bosch painting

Thoughts of you, they try and kill me

Everyone needs a little appreciation

Notice me, see, am I still breathing?

What if all we needed was a chance?

Climb a ledge, leap, blind faith

Experience gravity, destiny, let go and be free

Is it such a big thing?

You smile, you make me crazy

I want to dance with you at 2am

Walk ‘til sunrise and back again

Go and get coffee

Let me hold you just once, real close

No commitment, no tomorrow

I'm not asking you for forever

Today, just you, give me a moment

As long as it takes to get from here to there

A spell, for a camera flash, let me be yours

side effects > benefits

2010-05-18T18:38:00.005-04:00

It is official, my allergies are ravaging me. I haven't been able to draw a full breathe since Saturday. Last night was really bad, I was pretty much worthless. I slept like a rotisserie chicken, waking up every half hour to turn 90 degrees to allow my sinuses to drain in a different direction. And as someone who ALWAYS sleeps on my stomach, I hate having to sleep on my back! I felt a little better today...until I took my kids out for recess. Whatever I'm allergic to (my guess is some common tree pollen), is in full swing this week. By the time I made it back into the school today I felt like I had some rotten combination of a sinus infection, the flu, and strep. My nose, sinuses, lungs, eyes, throat, and tongue all itched. I hadn't felt this bad since H1N1 back in November. My allergies are bad, but trust me, I felt much worse when I had swine flu. Swine knocked me out of work for a week, and with allergies I only briefly considered asking to go home early today.

Of course I do have access to some real allergy meds, and broke down and took my first fexofenadine tonight. I was reluctant to do it, because medicine doesn't do it for me. My body tends to exaggerate the side of effects and reduce the benefits of anything that isn't ibuprofen or an antibiotic. I'm hoping my meds will at least reduce my congestion a little bit...and they'd better 'cuz the meds always dehydrate me along with these bonus effects: fatigue (severe), weakness, headache and a fever-like state. Undecided if I'll pop a pill in the morning, but maybe I'll at least take it with me, 'cuz anything would be better than this afternoon. I think? I f&cking hate allergy season!! Winter is tooo short! :P

writing for real?

2010-05-17T20:43:00.004-04:00

I've decided to try and enter a writing contest. Well I'm going to enter a writing contest, but I have no expectations of winning or for having my story even deemed mediocre. My only goal is for it to be somewhat enjoyable, and maybe to elicit a laugh or a chuckle. I'm writing about a 9-year old named Katie attending her first track meet. Given the subjects, my story won't have any deep meaning, nor will it give my beloved Yann Martel a run for the money. That's okay, I just want to say I finished it and submitted it. The max length my short story can be is 3,000 words, my goal is around 2,000 and to just have fun with it.

Will you ever get to read my story? I don't know. Obviously I can't post it while the contest is ongoing (story is due June 1st, winners announced mid-July). But you might be able to convince me that I do need some outside feedback on it. I blog all the time and have been pretty unshy about what I have to say...but writing a story is completely different. I actually try, reread things, edit and proof it. If I spent 20 minutes on a 500-word blog post, then I'd spend a couple hours or more on the first 500 words of my story. And I'm embarrassed to say my writing does not improve relative to the time I put into it. So maybe I'll post my story once I'm officially rejected, maybe I won't? If you really need to sample my fiction, here is a short story I wrote a couple of years ago that I at least enjoyed.

Also scary moment a few minutes ago when I was 300 words into my story, hadn't clicked save, and my computer crashed for the first time ever. I almost cried. Thank God when I turned it on MS Word was kind enough to auto-save it and had it waiting for me on a clipboard!

Richard Evans and Yann Martel

2010-05-16T19:33:00.004-04:00

I read 2 very different books last week; The Walk by Richard Evans and Beatrice And Virgil by Yann Martel.

The Walk was given to me by a co-worker when we wound up with some downtime in the room and I had nothing to do. It's about a Seattle ad exec who loses his wife, business, and house in a matter of weeks. He decides to then sell his remaining possessions and walk to Key West, Florida. I read it in 2 days without really trying, so a very quick read. And it tries to be inspirational, but I didn't feel inspired, though it did make me really want to go backpacking. My big problem with the story was believability. This admittedly out of shape, formerly very rich, ex-company president is able to backpack 30+ miles a day up a mountain pass?? BS! My record for most backpacking miles in a day is 14 (which I realize isn't that much), and it was in Michigan, so no 1,000' and beyond elevation changes! And I was exhausted after the 14 miles, and I consider myself to usually be in decent shape! My other problem with the story is the main character eats all of his meals in restaurants and spends most of his nights in hotels and the like. Then has the gall to complain about camping one night outside and or having to use his stove to cook a meal in the woods. Really dude, you're trying hiking from Seattle to freakin' Key West, man up and rough it a little!

Beatrice and Virgil is written by Yann Martel, who wrote my 2nd favorite book of all-time; Life Of Pi. B&V is about a former author who meets a reclusive taxidermist who wants help with his play. The play is about a donkey named Beatrice and a howler monkey named Virgil. I can't tell you anything else about the story without spoiling everything. The book is beautifully written (you will NEED to eat a peach after one of the opening scenes, Yann Martel does a bit of showing off with his power over the English language), but plot-wise, nothing really happens until the end. Then it's just horrifying scene after gruesome scene. Culminating with the haunting Games For Gustav at the end. I actually read the end of this book while serving the in-school suspension last week. I finished it and just stared at the wall for half an hour in shock, trying to digest what had just happened to the poor donkey and monkey. And soaking in all of the symbolism I could now place. Is B&V as good as Life Of Pi, absolutely not, but man, does it resonate!

his mom is the B word

2010-05-15T00:05:00.007-04:00

The running joke among my friends is that I'm either going to be in jail or have been murdered by the time Greg's bachelor party hits in 2 weekends. This is entirely in play, and I have spent way too much of my blog focused on one child I hate (fact), and not the other 7 students I enjoy. After this, I will be rarely blogging about him. He controls too much of my life already, he will not get my blog! Wednesday, after I had spent 2 days in suspension with this kid...MOM F*CKING YELLED at me, for no reason. Wednesday had actually been a relatively good day, it was like she had to destroy any happiness or joy I had ever felt, just like her son. The rotten apple does not fall far from the infested tree. I say burn it down.

Then today my, deep breathe, unpopular student (the other kids in my class despise him!) flips out when asked to correct an answer that he made up, puts his hands around another para's neck, who might be the nicest grandmother I have ever met. If he hadn't let go and ran from the room by the time I had sprinted across the classroom I would be at the center of a lawsuit or in jail right now, I assure you. It's one thing for him to hit, punch, kick, or push me (all happened, I can deal with that), but I work with awesome co-workers, don't F with them kid. I am a loyal son of a bitch, promise.

The saving bright spot of the day was when I had to run back outside to the buses to find my cell phone (irrelevant story), and not that I have favorites, but my 2nd fave student was running around on the tennis courts (and I feel guilty here, like I go to a couple of gen ed classes with him, and I really try to connect with him...but I feel like I just stress him out a lot, which makes me feel horrible). Anyways, I wave goodbye to everyone and start to leave and this student runs up to the fence and calls for me to come back. I walk back to the tennis courts, not sure what to expect? My student bows at the fence while waving and saying, "have a good weekend, Mr. S." Then skitters away, intentionally mispronouncing my name.

Said it before, I'll say it now, love all but one of my kids!!

not your year

2010-05-11T19:41:00.004-04:00

Over a calender year, everyone has their bad days. Today was one of mine. Actually it was horrible. And I even started this morning in a fantastic mood! But by 7:45am my problem student had begun his 90-minute rebellion walk around the school, which I got to tail him for the entire thing. He wound up with an in-school suspension over at CAS, so naturally I got to serve it with him. An unlike my previous 3 trips, this was anything (relatively) but smooth. He fought me on everything and tried to leave the room. Then an administrator joined me who I was initially relieved to see, but then she questioned every directive I had given in front of the student. I was in shock, I felt eviscerated. She even told my student at the end of the day if he was good and got his work done he could watch a movie or play on a computer. Hello lady, we are at a f*cking in-school suspension!?! WTF!

My saving hope had been that there was actually a behavior meeting taking place while all of this happened, you know, something that would give us a clear plan on how to deal with our student and get him in shape so maybe we could all survive with him at our middle school (where he clearly does NOT belong). Well later I was called and told how to implement our new "behavior plan" with our student from my very unhappy boss. And Mom won the meeting, the plan is a complete joke, it accomplishes shit. Part of the plan was too actually leave my student unattended in the conference room so he could focus on his work. Hahaha, f*ck me. All I heard was laughter and the blinds being played with. When I entered to get him to leave the blinds alone, he was making faces and playing with someone outside the window!!! By the end of the day he was as happy as I'd ever seen him and had completed practically nothing from when I left him.

When Mom came to pick them up, I had to completely avoid her. I was livid, I wanted to punch her in the face and scream, stop enabling your child!! And I feel bad when I hit chipmunks with my car! But honestly, if you catch your middle school child smoking cigarettes in his bedroom, wouldn't you yell at him to stop f*cking smoking, or make him smoke the whole pack so he gets sick, or something with a repercussion!?! I've not heard of one parent who found their kid smoking and said, "well, uh, here's the deal son. You can smoke either 1 or 2 more cigarettes, or you can have a glass of whiskey. Hope you learned your lesson." That's what this freaking Mom just did!!

Needless to say, I contemplated quitting today after I heard about how we will deal with the student the rest of the year. Somehow the worst kid I've ever dealt with has been given more entitlement, and all of the staff's hands have been tied. Shit we can do. I will suffer, my co-workers will suffer, the kids in my class will suffer, and the entire middle school will suffer. It's like trying to stop a massive oil spill by drilling more holes into the ground near it (wait, what, we did that!?!?). But no, I could never abandon ship like that, I like the people I work with and all of my other kids way too much. They will be dragging me out of the room at the end of the year!

Yes, so I had a very long and frustrating and just plain old bad day. So I wanted to share one of my favorite down-in-the-dump bands. I'm still a bit to angry about today, but once I'm a little calmer and sadder, I will be listening to The Weepies. If you're down and need something lighter to jam too to get going again, they are perfect. My favorite song is Not Your Year (you can listen to it here). Here are the lyrics:

"Scattered shadows on a wall, you watch the long light fall

Some impressions stay and some will fade
Tattered shoes outside your door, and clothes all on the floor
Your life feels like the morning after all year long.

And every day it starts again
You cannot say if you're happy
You keep trying to be
Try harder, maybe,
Maybe, this is not your year.
This is not your year.

Movies, TV screens reflect just what you expected
There's a world of shiny people somewhere else
Out there following their bliss
Living easy, getting kissed
While you wonder what else you're doing wrong

And every day it starts again
You cannot say if you're happy
You keep trying to be
Try harder, maybe,
Maybe, this is not your year.
This is not your year.

Breathe through it, write a list of desires
Make a toast, make a wish, slash some tires
Paint a heart repeating, beating, "Don't give up, don't give up."

Scattered shadows on a wall, you watch the long light fall
Some impressions stay and some will fade away

And every day it starts again
Someday you'll say that you're happy
So keep trying to be
Try harder, maybe,
Maybe, this is not your year.
This is not your year.

It's just not your year
This is not your year
This is not your year"

snow in may, right on

2010-05-09T21:05:00.004-04:00

Wound up at my cabin this weekend. On Friday I had looked at the weather and saw the HIGH on May 8th was going to be 36 degrees, with a mix of rain and snow. Crap I thought, I should pack some warmer clothes, right? Well here is everything I found in my bag when I looked on Saturday, no idea how this happened: 3 t-shirts, 1 long-sleeve shirt, boxers and socks, swishy pants, and my rain pants (this was actually a mistake, I was lamenting Saturday morning before I checked my bag that I should've packed my rain pants too, but instead had thought I brought my Swix pants, which are thick and warm in the front, and a real thin, breathable material on the back. These are my 35 degree to 50 degree pants; perfect for cross-country skiing, running, mountain biking, etc. Alas I had forgotten my Swix pants.).

Things that I held in my hands at one point while packing but somehow never made it into my bag: Hat, gloves, hoodie and both pieces of my winter coat. Yes, I am a last second packer and so tend to forget things. But this was a poor showing even by me.

Of course on Friday night I watch the weather at my cabin and hear them say parts of the upper Lower Peninsula could get 2-4" of snow Saturday!! Sweet, this will be an unofficial record for latest I've seen snow in Michigan. I don't remember the exact day, but a few years ago when I worked at KBS we were fertilizing or cutting plant samples (regardless, tedious) at the Allegan State Game Area and it snowed. I remember clearly 'cuz it had been 60 and sunny when we left Kalamazoo and I was in shorts and a t-shirt. When the flurries hit, I'm not sure I've ever been so cold for so long.

Well Saturday it mostly rained at my cabin, no 2-4" of powder. But I did experience some hail (conveniently while I was on a walk and a couple of miles from my cabin, hail hurts!!) intermingled patches of snow, and timed one such period perfectly to jump into the Au Sable River while it was 35 and snowing on May 8th! Well actually I jumped in twice, since I had the dumb misconception that the water would be warmer than the air and it would feel alright in the river, and so therefore I had the shampoo and soap with me (honestly, who takes a shower at a cabin???). The air was cold, the water felt just as cold. When I hit the water the first time I couldn't move, it was like I hit absolute zero. I couldn't even yell the "F*ck me!" my brain was screaming. Thankfully the body started working and I was back up on the dock about 1 second later. Hmmm, I thought, that wasn't so bad. So I lathered up and jumped back in. Colder! This time I dove, and I got a cold headache like I'd eaten ice cream too fast. Only I still had soap on me and had to submerge again. And again!! I struggled even pulling myself onto the dock I was shivering so hard. By the time I had "dried" off and was waddling up the riverbank steps I looked like a 90-year old man, my arms and legs would not bend they were numb.

And naturally after putting my body through that ordeal I woke up this morning and felt horrible! I thought I had strep for sure. I felt feverish and my throat was raw. Now I'm just congested (and not allergy congested, my eyes didn't itch this weekend for the first time in 2+ weeks, it was fantastic!!) and think I'm suffering from a cold. Really? If I jump in a river while it's snowing I can get a cold? F*cking science!